#1
Badge Collection

I cower undercover of the quilt,
pining me to a punctured sense of self esteem;
My skin is now a cheese grater,
providing taste to the ones who love to laugh.
At least your keeping busy,
My father quips.

The child grows as its bones become joined,
but not mine:
Mine are just pins holding together the past,
each having their own personal tragedy.
How can you be so cavalier,
my friends argue;
your calamities are like violent tattoos,
you can never forget them.

Now in the school yard, amongst the workers,
the debate of position continues to thrive.
One asks,
What does your say?
The other replies briskly,
“Death”.

Cool.




This is something outside of my comfort zone - I never had much of a flare for poetry - I hope you enjoy this, and try and be honest as well. Leave a link if you want me to help with any of your work. Thank you.



Digitally Clean
#2
Very interesting. I can't say why I specifically like it over all your other stuff, but it definitely compelled me to comment on this.

I think you've manage to paint quite a nice image in my mind while not giving up ground to wording and writing issues.

You faltered a bit in the end, the last stanza fell apart for me a bit, and though you surely meant it to be detached from the others is was a bit too deconstructed for the piece, in my opinion.

Great ideas, clearly manifested and yet originally put together. I'd just rework that ending to make sure that the reader doesn't lose the thread of meaning you weaved so "gently" into the first two stanzas.

I'm rambling. Stopping now.

I really liked it.
This is not a pipe