#1
My first attempt at writing a song.


You can call it metalcore
its unfinished


Needs vocals

and to be criticized (:


EDIT: I changed it up a bit.
[Gp5, Gp4, Midi]
Attachments:
Metalcore.zip
Quote by bassmaniac101

You are amazing.

Quote by Arch1119
^^yay photoshop...you made me lol all over myself
Last edited by fezrockz at Jul 27, 2008,
#3
Reminded me a lot of Parkway Drive, which is a good thing as they're more original and inventive with their riffs than other bands in the genre. Get it finished!
ohai little sig.
#5
thanks guys (:

Any tips to improve it?

Any parts you like in particular?
Quote by bassmaniac101

You are amazing.

Quote by Arch1119
^^yay photoshop...you made me lol all over myself
#6
I like the beginning, i'd go back to that part later on in the song

you might try some harmonies with the lead lines

my 2 cents..
#7
I like the begining, but you should have harmonized it or something like that.
bars 30 - 37 are my favorite.

all in all, it's awesome =D
Like 99.5/100
Gallien Krueger is awesome
#8
thanks guys (:
Quote by bassmaniac101

You are amazing.

Quote by Arch1119
^^yay photoshop...you made me lol all over myself
#9
Hey, could you convert it to a .gp3 file or something, so those that can't afford to update their guitar pro can open it?
Thanks
Quote by Lolcheez324
1 time i was home alone and i said i want a cheeseburger and then mah dad got home and he had a bag of potatoes
#10
yeah, I dont have gp5.
I have gp4.
=/
-Gear-
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

-Pedalboard/Rackmount-
Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

-Guitars-
Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470
#11
as i'm on a mac i'm listening to the midi coz im too poor to get leopard
i think it starts too suddenly, it just seems to jump right in. the second section i liked a lot. reminded me of dark eternal night. then when it's one guitar i enjoyed ythat bit, and it worked well when the drums and bass came in. there needs o be a transition between the sections, they just seem like they've been thrown together.

i liked the other bits a lot

8/10 methinks
hello
#12
Alright cool so maybe like.

Add an 'intro' to my intro?

haha (:
Quote by bassmaniac101

You are amazing.

Quote by Arch1119
^^yay photoshop...you made me lol all over myself
#13
yep, exxactly, just a little bit of guitar at the startsay, the intro riff, but without the hemidemisemiquavers
hello
#14
The drums on the intro are a little too much. Work on it a little bit its just too overdramatic. Measure 16 when it descends and ends on a quarter it would sound better to have two eighth notes and go down to the D, in my opinion.

I can't stand measure 19 to 26 and 56 to 65. Try to go out of the rhythm that you are using everywhere else in the song.

27 to 28 are my favorite so far.

My only problem, which happens to be a fatal one, is that you use the exact rhythm in every riff minus one. It gets boring to my ears. Plus the root to fifth pull of to third is the most commonly used metalcore riff out there. (46 to 55) I'm not saying this is a bad song. I see that you can write good metalcore, just try to add diversity.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=15441493#post15441493
-Gear-
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

-Pedalboard/Rackmount-
Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

-Guitars-
Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470