#1
Ok.here's the little poem I wrote a couple of days ago...Check it out...I bet the first crit would be "Too Short" ...anywayz, pls crit ...pls...i want some crits for my first poem..good or bad..just crit..


The drips, they hastened from my eyes
But nothing could make them really shine
An expensive smile to wear on face
Your words have put me in a maze

A friend I'd called, conquer my day,
Combined with traitor, of course, he may
as harsh as a mine, but I stepped in time
Then, she harmonized her day with laughter and joy
#2
too short.

j/k..I actualy like it quite a bit. I don't realy like the third or forth line in the first stanza though...or the second line on the second stanza. It seems like you left words out.

An expensive smile to wear on(my, your, somthing?) face
Combined with (a) traitor....It flows how it is, but it just seems odd to read.
Over all though, I do like the piece.
Quote by dcdossett65
Life is too short to worry about this crap.

Who.

Cares.