#1
Wall of text:


About a month or 2 ago, i lent my mate £30 to pay his mobile phone contract as he ran out of money mid-week. Of course being a mate and a good-samaritan, i lent him the money in a bat of an eyelid (2 months ago i was rolling in money) and told him to pay me back in a few months or when i needed the money.

Not long after, his parents split up and because i've been there, done that and got the t-shirt with my own parents, i talked to him and supported him as the shite hit the pan. As mates do.

He wished to buy my guitar (believing he had some money) so i said i would sell him my £200 Jackson RR. But weeks later he got roughed up badly in a fight so i went around his to support and cheer him up and gave me my guitar telling him to pay me ASAP.

A few weeks later, i got a new job and a car and i'm struggling. Badly. My car cost me alot for insurance deposit and a new front cataylst box on the exhaust.
Without a penny to my name i ask my mate to give me back the money he owes me.
He says he'll try and sort it.


Never did. Tried meeting him up town (Birmingham), but he avoided me.

Furious, i gave him a week to sort out the money. Now he wont answer his phone and i feel angry and betrayed by a close-mate who i've supported through bad times.
All my other mates are telling me that i'm a fool for lending so much money to a mate and now because of it, i feel like a right twat for supporting a mate in his hour of need, but when i needed help, i get blanked.

My mates are saying i should go over to his house and get my guitar back. Part of me does, but then again i don;t wanna destroy a good friendship, because before all this, he was (and still is) a great mate.


What should i do?
From people who have been in this type of incident please.
Thanks

PS: By the way Paul, if you or your mates read this, call me. I'm not very angry with you, but we need to talk. I'm not sorry that i had to post this online in a guitar forum to get some stress off me chest, but common mate, use some common fucking sence with your money, you could easily pay off the debt by not spending it every other night down the pub...
#5
Don't worry dude, you'll be okay. I always remember what some people have told me, if you borrow some money out you should never expect it back

I'm sure if you really had a talk with him he'd give you the money back, but I have also been in that situation, it just feels like you don't need to give the money back, though you should.

I hope you end up okay with your car and your friend man.
#6
Quote by imthehitcher
1.hire goons
2.send to his house
3.?????
4.profit


How can i send hired goons to his house if i have hardly any money?
#8
You lent money to an alcoholic?


Good idea
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#9
I had a flat mate owe me £180 for bills for almost 6 months.

We don't live together anymore and we don't talk.
#10
Quote by Tatersalad1080
You lent money to an alcoholic?


Good idea


We are both 18
I know an alcoholic from someone who likes to drink alot with mates.

My mate IS NOT an alcoholic.
#12
Buy a baseball bat and let it do the talking for you
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#13
I remeber I bought my amp off of one of the largest football players at my highschool. I told him I would pay him back ASAP. About a week later, he asked me for his money kind of joking in a way. I laughed and told him that I had most of it but not all. So I gave him what I had. I was about $100 short. A couple of weeks later he comes up to me and asks for his money. I told him that I couldn't pay him that day, but I would have the day after. He laughs and says "Oh good, because if you don't I will break both of your legs and throw you into the goddamn Colorado river."
Needless to say, that was all of the convincing I needed.
Maybe you could apply that here?
#14
Quote by Tatersalad1080
You lent money to an alcoholic?


Good idea



Brilliant.

Seriously though, if he was a good "Mate" wouldn't he pay you back fully ... Or at least a fraction of what he owes you?
McLovin is my hero!

It's not the going that the pit cares about.
It's the coming.
#15
Quote by Moggan13
How can i send hired goons to his house if i have hardly any money?



well lets say goons=big gay men willing to do work for sexual favours
#16
Quote by McLovin-

Brilliant.

Seriously though, if he was a good "Mate" wouldn't he pay you back fully ... Or at least a fraction of what he owes you?


Thats why i need to talk to him, to sort out paying off some of the money.
I dunno, i just wish he would answer his bloody phone.
#18
the same thing happened with me, but it was only 30 dollars. he paid me back 10 of it, but i still haven't got the other 20 yet and it's been almost 2 months. i just don't even plan on talking to him until he calls me and tells me he has the money. he told me he could pay me back the day of, but it's almost 2 months now. i partially blame myself because i knew he was going to buy drugs with it, and he doesn't exactly respesct other peoples possessions (i let him borrow my pipe and he left it in some kid's car and i didn't get it for 3 weeks).

moral of the story: don't let your friends borrow money from you.
#19
Quote by DayTripper1967
the same thing happened with me, but it was only 30 dollars. he paid me back 10 of it, but i still haven't got the other 20 yet and it's been almost 2 months. i just don't even plan on talking to him until he calls me and tells me he has the money. he told me he could pay me back the day of, but it's almost 2 months now. i partially blame myself because i knew he was going to buy drugs with it, and he doesn't exactly respesct other peoples possessions (i let him borrow my pipe and he left it in some kid's car and i didn't get it for 3 weeks).

moral of the story: don't let your friends borrow money from you.


He isnt going to pay you until you call him.
#20
I've had this problem a few times with one of my best mates, I usually have to find him in the pub or just go to his house when I know he has money. Took me a year to get £40 back the first time tho lol
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

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#21
Doesn't sound like a good mate to me. Me and some friends borrow from eachother all the time, but we mostly pay back after a while. He may have been a good friend, but that's exactly the problem. That's in the past, just go over to his house and talk with him.
#22
Quote by Moggan13
He isnt going to pay you until you call him.

i've called and texted a few times about it, but he keeps making excuses as to why he doesn't have it. so basically, i'm just giving up on it and not talking to him.
#23
Take your guitar back man, as far as I'm concerned, if that ruins your friendship, it's his fault for basically stealing it from you. He has no right to it.
Quote by BeefWellington

what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
#24
All you can really do is go over to his house and have a talk with him since he's not answering the phone and you wouldn't really wanna hurt or threaten him since he is your buddy. There's not much to do in a situation like this.

I guess it's true that the nice guy always get the **** end of the stick...
#25
Quote by Vornik
Take your guitar back man, as far as I'm concerned, if that ruins your friendship, it's his fault for basically stealing it from you. He has no right to it.


I sold it to him. Technically it's NOT stealing from me, just not paying. I dunno. I don't do law
#26
Quote by Moggan13
I sold it to him. Technically it's NOT stealing from me, just not paying. I dunno. I don't do law


Theft is unlawfully taking something with no intention to give it back (got to love the grey areas in UK law)
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

Your Mother's Got a Penis
#27
Quote by faultyy
Theft is unlawfully taking something with no intention to give it back (got to love the grey areas in UK law)


(scratches chin)
Hmmm....
#28
Quote by Moggan13
(scratches chin)
Hmmm....


Yep, think that's the response the guy who made the law up, just after investing his life savings in a solicitors firm was going for
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

Your Mother's Got a Penis
#29
Quote by faultyy
Yep, think that's the response the guy who made the law up, just after investing his life savings in a solicitors firm was going for




It's also the response I give when i'm driving and someone pulls out on me at an A-road...Usually followed by excessive amounts of post-watershed swearing.
#30
Never, EVER mix business with friendship relationships. The latter can grow out of the former easily, but the former growing fruitfully out of the latter almost never happens.
#32
Quote by Moggan13
PS: By the way Paul, if you or your mates read this, call me. I'm not very angry with you, but we need to talk. I'm not sorry that i had to post this online in a guitar forum to get some stress off me chest, but common mate, use some common fucking sence with your money, you could easily pay off the debt by not spending it every other night down the pub...


sorry about that, at least try to be nice to me. and about your guitar, I trashed it when I was drunk.
#34
Did this thread ever come at a perfect time for me. a friend has owed me a couple HUNDRED for over 2 yrs, she lives 5 min. from me and has never attempted to pay it back.

Last month i let a guy at work borrow 1 of my all time fave ps2 games SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS. He let me borrow his FINAL FANTASY X which he "claimed" was one of his faves. so i'm thinking i have collateral. I never let my games out but we had talked "gaming" for a long while at work and he seemed cool, and he said he wasn't going anywhere soon (quitting or getting fired) plus i love introducing great games to people.

Well he beat the game in a week or two and then kept apparently "forgetting" to bring it back. a week or too after he said he beat it he and his wife QUIT! Now i'm left w/ a stupid game that i don't like, no phone # or addy (checked the phone book) to call or go to and he's got one of my fave games. He has made NO attempt to contact me or leave a message at work or anything. and they must have come back sometime to return their work badges.
Last edited by 636lover at Jun 13, 2009,
#35
Quote by CLVPX
sorry about that, at least try to be nice to me. and about your guitar, I trashed it when I was drunk.


Nice try
#36
Tough call. Go to his house or try and sort it out with his parents or something if he's a young boy. Otherwise I don't know really. Just beat him when you see him and steal his clothes, girlfriend and bed.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#37
Quote by Moggan13
About a month or 2 ago, i lent my mate £30 to pay his mobile phone contract as he ran out of money mid-week. Of course being a mate and a good-samaritan, i lent him the money in a bat of an eyelid (2 months ago i was rolling in money) and told him to pay me back in a few months or when i needed the money.

Not long after, his parents split up and because i've been there, done that and got the t-shirt with my own parents, i talked to him and supported him as the shite hit the pan. As mates do.
you can pretty much expect the £30 when hell freezes over, if you haven't gotten it back.
you had no agreement on when he would pay you back.
yes, he owes you the money.
but when you will get it back has never been settled.

Quote by Moggan13
He wished to buy my guitar (believing he had some money) so i said i would sell him my £200 Jackson RR. But weeks later he got roughed up badly in a fight so i went around his to support and cheer him up and gave me my guitar telling him to pay me ASAP.
do you mean you gave him your guitar?
why would you do that when he has a history of being broke?
you made your own problem here. you should know better.

Quote by Moggan13
A few weeks later, i got a new job and a car and i'm struggling. Badly. My car cost me alot for insurance deposit and a new front cataylst box on the exhaust.
Without a penny to my name i ask my mate to give me back the money he owes me.
He says he'll try and sort it.
nice.
you're having hard times, now you expect him to support you.
probably not gonna happen.

Quote by Moggan13
Never did. Tried meeting him up town (Birmingham), but he avoided me.
of course he avoided you.
he might be a deadbeat, but he isn't stupid.
he owes you money and he knows you'll press him for it.

Quote by Moggan13
Furious, i gave him a week to sort out the money. Now he wont answer his phone and i feel angry and betrayed by a close-mate who i've supported through bad times.
you put him in a situation where he owes you,
but had no agreement on a date when the debt would come due.
now you wanna change the rules. you should be furious.
... with yourself.

Quote by Moggan13
All my other mates are telling me that i'm a fool for lending so much money to a mate and now because of it, i feel like a right twat for supporting a mate in his hour of need, but when i needed help, i get blanked
your other mates are spot-on.
lending to a friend is a bad idea to begin with.
lending without a clear agreement on when the debt is due, is just stupid.

basic rule: never lend a mate any more than you are willing to write off as a gift.
otherwise you ruin friendships.

Quote by Moggan13
My mates are saying i should go over to his house and get my guitar back. Part of me does, but then again i don;t wanna destroy a good friendship, because before all this, he was (and still is) a great mate.
your other mates are smart. listen to them.
he hasn't paid you, so it's still your guitar.
nothing wrong with reclaiming it until he is able to pay for it.
if you still have it when he can pay, sell it to him. if not, oh well.
this should not affect your friendship if handled politely.
you should have never let him take possession of it until you had the money in hand.

Quote by Moggan13
What should i do?
From people who have been in this type of incident please.
Thanks
it only takes once through this kind of thing to figure it out.
the advice you've gotten from your other mates has been good.
continue to seek their advice.
and learn from this mistake.

good luck.
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#38
Update:
I'm meeting him tomorrow to sort this whole thing out.

If he fails to show up, then i'm personally going to his house and getting my guitar, no questions.

Thanks for the advice people, and thanks SYK for giving a detailed and balanced answer.
#39
Go and get your guitar. He obviously isn't a great mate if he's not going to pay you back and he's spending all the cash he makes on alcohol. Then punch him in the face, set his house on fire and call it even.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.