#1
i think i have it, this entire summer ive either been in a great mood or just hated every bit of myself, right now its the latter. ive been staying up until really late, it seems i have the most energy late at night, ive usually ben faling asleep at like 12 and waking up at 10 or a 11, thats a lot of sleep for what i usually get, and its weird because i usually feel fatigued throughout the day. i thought it was a small phase, i had a week where i just felt like ****, i was irratable, depressed and flipping out on people, then i went back to normal but i have that same feeling coming back, that feeling of just uselessness. today i was thinking about self confidence and stuff, ive been hearing a lot about it and how people like you if you have more of it, then that makes me think of how little i have, which makes me have less, i mean i could pretend that i love myself and i think im cool, but then id be lying to myself. i cant lie to anyone let alone my self. confidence is not something you just get. and it makes me realize my lack of self confidence almost contributes to my lack of identity, my status online is very similar to my status in the real world, im a nobody, a faceless being. here i go again.

this is just some of the **** i think of and i dont really know why, 2 weeks ago it was the lonliness that was killing me, now i dont even know what it is, i just feel like ****, i dont know what i hate more, myself or modern society.

ive been playing guitar normal amounts, except i cant think of anything original to do so i just do technique stuff for like 30 mins at a time and jam to slayer, death and metallica songs.

i dont think what i have is serious or anything, ive dont self harm or anything like that. man Pantera and Children of bodom are the best medicine i can think of right now. ive heard from people that what im going through everyone goes through but that just takes me back to the lack of identity thing and i just go deeper into it. i dont think im normal, if i was i wouldnt be here, i wouldnt play guitar, i wouldnt listen to extreme metal (and yes i know Pantera and COB arent extreme metal so dont even ****ing start with me on that) and hardcore punk because i would be too busy partying and going to school dances like the rest of the people at my school.
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#2
if your happy at some point i doubt that counts as manic depression. maybe bi-polar disorder.


then again maybe your afflicted by the deadly and untreatable teenagers disease, afflicting young people everywhere for centuries.
#3
i thought of hendrix's song when i first came to this thread. it's a good song.

INTOLERANCE IS IGNORANCE


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#4
Manic depression is searching my soul
I know what I want but I just don't know
Feeling sweet feeling drops from my fingers fingers
Manic depression has captured my soul

^

I feel exactly how you do, well I did. I moved From B.C. to Ontario a year ago almost this day, believe me when I say I know what it's like to be lonely.

There isn't much I can say but try and find people to hang out with, it has definitely made my life better.

V hardy har har
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#5
Damn, beaten to it.

Woman so weary, the sweet cause in vain
You make love, you break love
Its all the same
When its, when its over, mama
Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess

V
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Last edited by SathiaSun at Jul 28, 2008,
#6
Quote by dark&broken
if your happy at some point i doubt that counts as manic depression. maybe bi-polar disorder.


then again maybe your afflicted by the deadly and untreatable teenagers disease, afflicting young people everywhere for centuries.

ummm bi-polar=manic depression. just a different name they started using.


^^i also thought of the song. then i saw someone else beat me to posting lyrics :/

EDIT: Well, I think Ill go turn myself off,
And go on down
All the way down
Really aint no use in me hanging around
In your kinda scene
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You know why?
Death ain't got **** on Mikael.
#7
yea its a great song. great guitar solo.
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#8
Seriously you need to read some books! I swear to god! Then get out of the house. Start out with "The Catcher In The Rye." Maybe do two birds with one stone and get out of the house and read a book.
#9
Quote by dark&broken
if your happy at some point i doubt that counts as manic depression. maybe bi-polar disorder.


then again maybe your afflicted by the deadly and untreatable teenagers disease, afflicting young people everywhere for centuries.


Bi-polar and manic depression is the same thing.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#10
Quote by Fuzzbox91

ive been playing guitar normal amounts, except i cant think of anything original to do so i just do technique stuff for like 30 mins at a time and jam to slayer, death and metallica songs.

There's your problem. You've got a case of the blues, and you're trying to treat it with metal.
Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.
#11
Quote by dark&broken
if your happy at some point i doubt that counts as manic depression. maybe bi-polar disorder.
.

thats the thing i dont really have much reason to be happy, ill got all excited because a rain storm killed the power at the dunkin donuts i work at and got to go home early but i dont have a car and it was raining like crazy so ive been here all day. ive read cather in the rye and have to read it again this year for a school assignment. ive tried getting out of the house but there is just nothing to do. most of my friends are working wheni have days off or on vacation (one of them is on vacation ****ing his girlfriend every single day) man it all goes back to that identity stuff, it feels like no matter what i do i am a nobody and now i am beggining to act like one.
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#12
Dude, okay there is really no reason to be sad. Think about it you are truly one in about a billion that survived the greatest battle in life. You fought billions for the sacred right to life. Appreciate the beauty in that, that it was you and not some other possibility. Just look at the more beautiful and fascinating things. It seems to me that your life is getting stagnant really and that is the source of the depression. Here is something for thought we are on a giant rock moving around a giant ball of gas at 60,000 miles per hour in a galaxy moving at 600,000 mile per hour in a universe that could very well be moving at the speed of light. You are of a species that is perfectly aware of its imminent death yet still moves on. I mean how awesome and beautifully chaotic is this all. It is all so crazy yet it all clicks together so well.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#13
Quote by tayroar
Dude, okay there is really no reason to be sad. Think about it you are truly one in about a billion that survived the greatest battle in life. You fought billions for the sacred right to life. Appreciate the beauty in that, that it was you and not some other possibility. Just look at the more beautiful and fascinating things. It seems to me that your life is getting stagnant really and that is the source of the depression. Here is something for thought we are on a giant rock moving around a giant ball of gas at 60,000 miles per hour in a galaxy moving at 600,000 mile per hour in a universe that could very well be moving at the speed of light. You are of a species that is perfectly aware of its imminent death yet still moves on. I mean how awesome and beautifully chaotic is this all. It is all so crazy yet it all clicks together so well.

Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess
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I voted 9, cause I would only let my mum give me a handjob...

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Un-Banned! Boy, does it feel great to be back.
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#14
What you need is a nice dose of reality.

Try some exercise and just good old fashioned hanging out with friends.

Your mind is unstimulated which will totally amplify whatever it is you're feeling.

Swimming is always good fun. Puts a nice spark of energy in your body.

EDIT: And TRUST ME... This is a phase. Keep that in my mind, and keep on trucking. This too shall pass.
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#15
Quote by x_thurston_x
What you need is a nice dose of reality.

Try some exercise and just good old fashioned hanging out with friends.

Your mind is unstimulated which will totally amplify whatever it is you're feeling.

Swimming is always good fun. Puts a nice spark of energy in your body.

ive been going to the gym a lot latley, that helps, the latter i wish was more available to me. but like i said my friends are all unavailable right now

hmm... just like the pantera song "one mans misery is another mans mystery"
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#16
dude i sleep from 3(ish) AM to 3(ish) PM and i always work better late at night. and yes COB are extreme metal.

but i do not think you have manic depression at least not yet. my best friends dad has it, and i dont think it works like that. you stated you had low self esteem. probably due to a happening that got you down quite a bit. this would contribute to your "irregular sleep patterns". the root of many sleeping disorders are linked with something thats bugging you. you really remind me of my one friend, and when i read your post i thought of my friend, who is a pessimist most of the time and is randomly happy. i think the combination of your low self esteem and pessimism are the right ingredients for depression, and i think you might be going through a mild phase/phases of it. it could get worse, in that you could get clinical depression, or manic depressin depending on what happens in your life and how your brain reacts.


*these conclusions have been made purely by experience in real life(in other people), and much reading about such disorders on the net.
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Quote by Delanoir
In 60 years, there will still be Opeth.
You know why?
Death ain't got **** on Mikael.
#17
Try a social experiment. Go out and meet someone new with no expectations of anything coming from it. Just communication, getting to know someone new.

Like ask out a beautiful girl just for the hell of it. Go visit someone that lives far away.
New gear sometimes sparks inspiration. Go for a makeover. Nothing girly or drastic, just a little self improvement you know? Try new things, face your fears, write a story, find a pen pal, go to therapy, go to an AA meeting just to do some people watching, see some people with amazing stories...

You just have to become sick and tired of being sick and tired. Maybe you're comfortable with this feeling, and that's why nothing has changed. Comfort doesn't necessarily imply that you're in a positive place.

I know I sound all Dr. Phil ass backwards but I'm just trying to help you out, I mean I've been there, and it's an awful place to be, but it is a phase, and there is a way out.
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#18
yea except if i went "people watching" people would think im a stalker or something (you have no idea how uptight my town is) but i kind of get what your saying, next time the people at work decide to have a party (even though they usually just get drunk/high and talk about other times they got drunk/high) ill ask if i can come, not to drink but just to do someting new
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#19
Quote by Thin Mr. Jones
There's your problem. You've got a case of the blues, and you're trying to treat it with metal.


This man has a point.
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#20
Why is it that everyone on UG seems to hate their lives and think they are worthless? My advice: get over yourself. Honestly, just think about other people all the time. Help out everyone who you can. The more you think about yourself, the more you'll be like this.
Last edited by mrwaffles at Jul 28, 2008,
#21
i guess with no school you've got more time to fill, and if you arnt doing anything it will probably make you feel lonely and bored. i know its easy to just say 'meet new people' but it seems you do need too, give your life some excitement.start a band?skateboarding?
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#22
Quote by Fuzzbox91
ve been staying up until really late, it seems i have the most energy late at night, ive usually ben faling

I have the exact same thing as this. Only one way to change it though, goodnight!
PPPPPPPOSTFINDER
#23
If you are having mental health problems, see a doctor. Try getting more exercise, listening to less loud music, eating better and getting to bed earlier and you should see an improvement in your mood pretty fast. Avoid alcohol, drugs, caffeine and having too much sugar too.
#24
Quote by ash_punk_4_life
i guess with no school you've got more time to fill, and if you arnt doing anything it will probably make you feel lonely and bored. i know its easy to just say 'meet new people' but it seems you do need too, give your life some excitement.start a band?skateboarding?

trust me ive tried that and if i could do that i wouldnt even be here because id be at band practice. and i dont do drugs btw.
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#26
In the words of Ella Fitzgerald, "When I get low, I get high".


But seriously, everyones different. Friends are always good to cheer up, but alot of the time I love to sit on my house roof witha decent sized joint to myself, my favourite tunes and a guitar.

And to people telling him he needs blues, I think when you're upset, you need your own music. A metalhead would put on some of their tunes, a jazz buff might put on some Coltrane, I'd probalby go with Lennon or Frusciante for their singing. But alot of the time music speaks louder than words. I've had some sad/strange times on my own listening to Paganini play.
#27
My Grandad nearly killed himself and my Mum was a full time carer for him due to his physical state and his bi polar, and I recently had to call 999 on a bi polar friend who over dosed badly and has recently been talking to animals as she has split moments she thinks they are talking back to her.

Trust me, you're not manically depressed. You don't want it.