#1
hey guys, i wrote this with a good friend of mine. we took turns with each line. i started it off, and she went next.

i am the crack in your glassy stare...
theres nothing left to see
but the pointless curruption you've created in me
desperation has left me empty, cold and lost. where are you now
im am the light which draws you in, i am the craving to do you in. i am the silent death....
why dont you break me free, your love is the only key
yet you only take, and rape. this inocence turn to blasphomy.
an innocence once pure and white. an angel doomed to live in hell
my hell is in my mind, my world where i bid my time. the chains they burn into my skin, your constant hate, is in my soul...
ill kill myself with the memories i've made.
the razor slides, the pain is gone, but just a halfpatch fix.
A slice through my heart a wound so deep it hurts to breath. looking at such a disgrace, this relfection in my mirrior wont leave me be.
the stare so pure, she is not sure on how to live alone.
twisted thoughts and hate filled nights, you'll never be good enough.
i'll help you cut the ties, see past the lies and love you till the end.
your my worst enemey, yet still my only friend.
look into my eyes, and see that im not like them, ill be the one to take the life. a bloody knife, a soul stained with love.
my eyes are cut shut, my heart wont beat. Refuse this offer and you will live. refuse this offer and you will die.
in this life there is only death...i am your dreaded shadow. i will watch, you will lie, i was pure, could not cry. i am the cleansing, i am the fire...
my soul will fly with you one day. once all has come and gone. eventually your fire will fade.
turn to ash, i will not last long enough to fly. sadly i will smolder. burning yet fadeing away.


Part 2

a dream within a dream
a life without true meaning what will come of me
this lie of the liar
the rantings of my mind
I try to hide behind them, trying to disguise that part of me that made you cry. and hopes that you still bleed.
but the blood, black as your eyes flows freely at your beutifull hands.
how is it so easy, for you to turn away? i do this all for you.
you were just the game, the playing pieces to my twisted game. but when the dice roll, you fall.
fall harder than me, burn eternally. death is not the enemy, it is life that you should fear.
the last fight, suited in everyones birthright. you have nothing to offer.
your glory days will fade away, and you will turn to dust. a nothing to everyone a something to none.
but your soul will fade with mine, benith the sands of time. you were mine to controll...
I will be there, standing over you. watching you gasp for you're last breath of air. the wind will never hurt me.
you never had power. i was your maker of life, and i will be the one to cut your chord. you will never leave
embrass your new surroundings, take a look at me. What is it that you see now that your on bended knee?
(We are) The anti-cancer
(We are) The only answer
Stripped down, we want you dead
But what's inside of me, you'll never know
(We are) Bipolar gods
(We are) You know what we are
Last edited by folotheendisher at Jul 28, 2008,
#2
wow it seems so messy, now that i came back and looked at it
(We are) The anti-cancer
(We are) The only answer
Stripped down, we want you dead
But what's inside of me, you'll never know
(We are) Bipolar gods
(We are) You know what we are
#3
right, so i read this three times, and i still have absolutely no idea what it's about. if there is a message to each of these sections maybe you could work on making them clearer. it does seem a little like you wrote a line, then your mate wrote some thing that sounded good, then you did, and so on. so there isn't a clear focus to the piece.
also in part two you use "game" twice in one line, that doesn't read well.

does have some good lines in it though.
"im am the light which draws you in, i am the craving to do you in"
#4
yea like i said , it was just kinda were bored as hell, and wer elike hey lets try somthing.
(We are) The anti-cancer
(We are) The only answer
Stripped down, we want you dead
But what's inside of me, you'll never know
(We are) Bipolar gods
(We are) You know what we are
#5
Quote by folotheendisher
wow it seems so messy, now that i came back and looked at it
*reported*


that's a bump. it's specifically against the rules.

read them in the announcement at the top of this forum.
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