#1
share your stories.
Quote by HuckIt
I met this chick I really liked and wanted to practice sex, so I practiced on some guy


Quote by MetalheadforJC

I herd rap mean Retraded Attemped at Poetry

#2
First person to quote the blowjob joke gets an e-punch.
Jackson KVX10
Epiphone EB-3

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Bad Monkey
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#3
The Agriculture teacher at my school sent one of my friends to the office because he called her stupid. On the referral she misspelled "Stupid".
#4
My old English teacher in year 9 couldn't spell most words with more than 3 syllables, but she was total eye candy so not like I was paying attention to anything she said or wrote anyway.
Rawr! I'm a dinosaur
#5
My history teacher thought Thomas Jefferson invented the light bulb.
Quote by mexicanmidget88
metalcore is metal, just with more brutality



Quote by Guns 'N' Maiden

Brandon Small Is An Amazing Guitarist and Glen Benton Is One Of The Best Drummers I've Ever Seen




R.I.P. George Carlin

May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
#7
My teacher got fired for supplying some year 11 kids with drugs.

My school also had the great porno scandal.
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig


He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
#8
Quote by Glimsom
First person to quote the blowjob joke gets an e-punch.


The BJ joke?...
ᶌῖᶌα ɭα ɌεᶌσɭƲʈιʘϰ
#9
My geography teacher, who was quite hot, once said in place of "organisms", said "orgasms" instead. T'was hilarious.
Ego inflating praise here:
Quote by Fishyesque
That is SOOOOOOOOOOO sig worthy! Pure awesomeness to you, sir.

C wut I did thar Fishy?

's UG
#10
my french teacher once managed to lock herself in the school toilet :s
the people who cleaned it thought there was nobody in there cause the lights were out, so they closed it! xD
we were waiting for her , and then we saw her on her knees at the door talking trough a air-vent in the door! it was hilarious. she managed to give the keys to a goody-two-shoes who opened the door xD
#11
Quote by Vauxite
The BJ joke?...


The joke from bash.org
Jackson KVX10
Epiphone EB-3

Bugera 6260
Laney Supergroup Mk 1
Marshall VS100RH
Laney LX412A

Bad Monkey
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Fish N Chips
#13
One of my math's had a strop once. We were all messing about, playing him up like, Friday afternoon last lesson.

He got so fed up and took his shoes off and stood in the bin shouting "I'm not going to move out this bin till you be quiet"

Beats me.
#14
Quote by hazzmatazz
I once got suspended for farting that pissed me off, as I didn't even follow through.

can they do that? thats like suspending someone for coughing? wow and i thought my school sucks (they dont allow you to drink water for fear someone will bring alcohol)

but lets see

one of our teachers got busted for having sex with an underage girl, i hated that guy anyway, good riddance

i had this math teacher who did not know how to do math at all, shed get problems wrong every 5 minutes and she would forget to do the homework she assigned us so she would do it during the first 5 minutes in class then go over the answers, she got fired and is now dealing wiht ghetto kids (i hope they shoot her)
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#16
One of our teachers had a habit of falling asleep and going deaf in the middle of lessons while smoking. Once the sixth-formers covered her desk in methylated spirits and set it alight. She awoke screaming 'HELLS BLAZES!!'
ohai little sig.
#17
Quote by Fuzzbox91
can they do that? thats like suspending someone for coughing? wow and i thought my school sucks (they dont allow you to drink water for fear someone will bring alcohol)


Apparantly in my tiny village they can.

Once we gave a teacher a nervous breakdown. Another time this one teacher got so wound up they just started kicking in some lockers. Twas rather funny.
#19
the best thing i've ever said to a teacher was when she was lecturing the class and she said,
'i give you an inch and you take ten'
and i said
'have you ever taken ten inches miss'.

i didnt actually get in trouble.
Quote by HuckIt
I met this chick I really liked and wanted to practice sex, so I practiced on some guy


Quote by MetalheadforJC

I herd rap mean Retraded Attemped at Poetry

#20
Quote by hazzmatazz
I once got suspended for farting that pissed me off, as I didn't even follow through.


hmmmmm did you fart next to some1's face? Bad Boy..
hands down.
#21
me and my mates bully my science teacher lol its only because he is smaller than us...hehehe
#22
Quote by n to the k
me and my mates bully my science teacher lol its only because he is smaller than us...hehehe

Thats mean.
Quote by mexicanmidget88
metalcore is metal, just with more brutality



Quote by Guns 'N' Maiden

Brandon Small Is An Amazing Guitarist and Glen Benton Is One Of The Best Drummers I've Ever Seen




R.I.P. George Carlin

May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
#23
When I went to collect my GCSE results a couple of years back, the exams officer asked me "What is your last name, Mr Flatt?"
Quote by GodofGuitar1991
you are a real guitarist when you are not ashamed about masturbating to musicians friend magazine.
#25
some kids in my old school made a teacher run into a wall to get them to work and behave.
Rhythm in Jump. Dancing Close to You.

Quote by element4433
Yeah. people, like Lemoninfluence, are hypocrites and should have all their opinions invalidated from here on out.
#28
Quote by rizo299
did it work?

well on the video he runs into the wall and then all you can hear is laughing for the next 2 minutes. when the video ended it was still as loud as it was just after he ran into the wall.

I'd say it didn't work too well. he went off with stress for a few weeks after that. not surprising really.
Rhythm in Jump. Dancing Close to You.

Quote by element4433
Yeah. people, like Lemoninfluence, are hypocrites and should have all their opinions invalidated from here on out.
#29
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jrFS0aN5Jxk
They did this. That's Mr. Adamson the head of Maths What a prick. I was at the front shouting abuse at most of the teachers I had apart from my form teacher who sang Phantom of the Opera

EDIT: And this http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=sfLqtQDFtEM&feature=related

That was my old head of year Mr. Christian in his last lesson x)
Quote by Atomic_Assault
lololololol that was epic andyd93. you just made my day


PROUD EVERTONIAN
#30
Semen, salt, back of throat, etc

It totally happened to me and I'm the first person to post it
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#31
We had a substitute for math and everyone was just ****ing around my friend got up and started running around and the teacher (who wasnt that bad looking) tried to make him stop and he said he would if she belly danced for him. she just started laughing and then did this weird dance and then he just kept running around. The next day she wanted to get him suspended but nothing happened haha
#32
i had a maths teacher who kept confusing the numbers three and five. (and no i'm not just stealing Monty Python jokes, she was foreign and could barely speak English)

also, we had a teacher who we're pretty sure worked his way through every hot teacher in our school, normally during lessons too
Technically, I invented sound


Quote by ckellingc
It's posts like this that make me wish I could post a picture of a vagina.
#33
Quote by whalepudding
Semen, salt, back of throat, etc

It totally happened to me and I'm the first person to post it


E-punch!

But seriously, thanks for getting it out of the way. =P
Jackson KVX10
Epiphone EB-3

Bugera 6260
Laney Supergroup Mk 1
Marshall VS100RH
Laney LX412A

Bad Monkey
Crybaby
Metal Muff
Fish N Chips