Its not the real thing (it sounds better irl, especially the keyboards, not so much the guitar because I'm still using my Spider, though i'm getting new equipment after the summer) but it's a good idea of how its all going to sound, apart from vocals (which are kinda bruce dickinson style, i personally think our vocallist is pretty good) and the guitar solo.

It's on my profile, C4C as normal, thanks for any critism

EDIT: The solo would start at the 3:15 part
Last edited by Fraserwatt at Jul 28, 2008,
Hey man, that sounds pretty sweet. On first listen I'd have to say about 7/10

Now, I'll go through and critique each individual part.

Intro, good. I like the strings in the background, and the lead line. I especially like the way the strings change chords and interacts with the lead line.

Intro second-half/main riff thing, I like the atmosphere you create using the strings, and I also like the way the strings change chords to stop the riff getting too stale. I also like the polyrhythm between the ride cymbal and the guitar riff and bass drums. However the guitar line does sound really thin, and could definitely use some bass to fatten it up. That's probably just a Guitar Pro issue, and I imagine it will sound a lot better when you record it. Nice little fill on the snare too. I also like the way you change to the high-hat and use the little fill to transition to the next riff.

The next riff, I think the power-chords are just a little bit too bland. Maybe spice up the rhythm a little bit? That's about the only fault I can find in that section. Again I like the polyrhythm with the ride cymbal. The lack of strings is a good thing I think, as it certainly makes it a lot more dramatic. Often I feel that strings can soften a riff, and make it not as harsh, so by taking the strings away and changing to that you have a riff with a hard edge.

The fill bit that comes after that, I'm not sure if I like the rhythm on the toms. Maybe change that up a bit. Also you need a transition between that and going back to the other riff. It just sounds very unfinished and not definitive, kind of like two unrelated riffs just stuck together. You need some kind of drum fill and something with the snare I think to make those two riffs work together.

Next riff, again just the same as before.

Fill part after that, same as before, except the transition into the next bit worked quite well. I think it might need a little something, maybe a minor fill, but the suddenness of it actually worked fairly well.

Nice keyboard riff you've got there, I like it. I also like the change from compound time to simple time. Good use of a fill in the transition into the guitar-focused riff.

During the guitar-focused riff, maybe an interesting rhythm on the bass drums? It works, but it is a little bit bland and could use a little something to spice it up.

Pretty much the same thing for the sawtooth riff as what I said for the riff before it. Good fill into the next section.

Next section, which if I'm not mistaken is bringing the first keyboard riff back in, is good. However, I think you might want something to make the change between simple and compound time more pronounced. Perhaps a ride cymbal on the beat? Just a thought there. Apart from that nothing new to say about that riff. Actually, upon listening to it again, I think you need a kick and a crash on the first beat of the riff, and then a ride cymbal on every subsequent beat. Also the guitar doesn't last for long enough and just cuts out. Make it go for another bar or two and fade it out.

Transition to the next riff, I think you need something to build up. It seems kind of sudden, and not a good sudden either. I don't know if I like the guitar chords either. Actually on second listening, they're not bad. I think I do like them. Nice key change.

I think you need some kind of drum fill to transition into this next riff. As for the riff itself, nothing to say that I haven't said before.

That fill riff, then back to the other riff, same as what I said before.

Then transition into the simple time, same as what I said before. Needs something to make it work I think. As for the riff, just what I said before. Guitar-focused part, same as what I said before.

Next riff, kind of thrashy, I think you need a kick and crash on the first beat though. Otherwise it seems like it just suddenly drops away and there's this feeling of a lack of a definitive ending of one section and start of the next. Interesting drumming for the thrash riff. It's kind of like, funk drumming with a thrash metal riff. For the snare and kick hits, I'd change that to kick and crash I think. Would probably sound a lot better. Same for the part where the strings come in. Over that part might be a perfect spot for a guitar solo, but considering what it leads into, maybe not.

Nice melody line in the next part, I really like it. At first I thought it was going to lead into a guitar solo, and I was like "Yes, a melodic guitar solo!" However, it didn't, but it's still good. Nice harmony too. I think the bass should do a galloping rhythm under that, playing the root note of the chords the strings are playing. Also, snare roll for the transition please. Otherwise it just sounds random and disjointed.

Nothing to say about this riff that I haven't already said before. On the transition into the sawtooth thing, again, kick and crash on the first beat or it doesn't sound smooth and connected.

Sawtooth section is good, nothing to say about that really. Good drum fill to transition into the next part, I really like that.

Nothing to say about this part that I haven't said before. Good drum roll at the end, but again, kick and crash on first please!

Ending is good, I liked how you made the last notes kinda half-time or whatever. Only thing to say there is let it ring out, but you probably do that when you all play it together anyway.

So, after listening to the entire thing, 8/10. Could be a bit more complex, and a few transition issues, but it's a very solid song, and quite an enjoyable one. I'd like a guitar solo, but I don't know where you'd put it or if it would add to the song at all. It might actually detract from the song unless you did it just right.

I have nothing for you to critique, so this is a free critique. However, if you like, I do have two songs on my profile that you might wanna listen to. Different style to this, but I think they're pretty cool.

So, I thank you for the pleasure of listening to this song, and I look forward to hearing it recorded properly and with vocals.

EDIT: Wow, that's a massive review. I hope it's not tl;dr.
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i hear some iron maiden in there, the beginning has the same tune as a part in hallowed be thy name - Iron maiden, I'm not saying your copying lol, it shows your maiden influence, I like it, it has a good variation, i like the keyboards they have a nice tone to them, nice changes and rythme, i love the little harmony bits you injected.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=15496582#post15496582