#1
These lyrics were written in about ten minutes. I havent got an order for the song, not yet, and i have no melody. I would like to see what you think though i havent really written lyrics before, but im proud of these. Any STRUCTURED critisizm is welcome

Thank You.

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DOES THIS DARKNESS HAVE A NAME:

Verse1:
Released from the womb,
Just to crawl to my tomb,
Hunger for pleasure,
I fight all that measure,
Greed overwhelms thee,
Life undermines me,
I wish to die,
And hope to live.

Verse2:
Cover your eyes with religious hands,
Look through the holes upon evils demands,
The cross overshadows you,
Run all you want too,
The book will close,
Your life spent un-imposed,
Upon the pages of life,
The chapters of change.

Verse3:
Release the beast,
And let him feast,
Call his number,
Take him from slumber,
Take a deep breath,
Leak through the mesh,
Jump from humanity,
Close the boundaries of sanity.

Middle Eight:
Gravestones tilt to the moons single gaze,
Candlelight flickers on the ill gotten remains,
Blood stains on the tapestry of life,
Man creates its pleasures within pain and in strife.

Chorus:
Does this darkness have a name,
Is this all a twisted game,
Will I ever feel the same,
Will I ever feel again,
Does this darkness have a name,
Do you wish to evade your shame,
Do you feel bored and lame,
Take your life just to end the game.

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gear:
Yamaha ERG 121 (new paint job, new strings, new pickups, new electronics!)
Washburn HB 30, sunburst finish.
yamaha amp (came with guitar)
#2
Sorry, but you can't give your thread a title like that. Your thread must have an actual song title. Do a quick go-over of the rules.

*Reported*
#3
Please read the rules of the forum before you post. You can post again after you've reviewed them all.
This is not a pipe