#1
Hey, this is my second post here. Everyone helped me out a lot on my first so I figured I'd try another! Just to so you know, the parts in parenthesis are supposed to be backround vocals. I did this to hopefully clarify why there is a very noticable change in rythm of those lines. Thanks

verse 1
bite your tounge for me
and fight that urge to tell me off
(forget those things you'd love to say
hold your pride and walk away)

'cause as you'll clearly see
i'll tear you up and cut you down
(as fast as i can move my mouth
i'll chew you up and spit you out)

prechorus
you can destroy a man with a glance
a wink, a smile, or a kiss

chorus
my only advantage is this stage
my only weapons are my words
your only choice is leaving now
and praying i'm not heard

verse 2
you know i've seen them all,
these selfish games you like to play
("how many lonely hearts can i break?"
"how many lives can a darling girl take?")

and i know you feel
strong and sexy everytime
(someone suffers, loses confidence,
doubts themself, and feels deffenseless)

prechorus
you can destroy a man with a glance
a wink, a smile, or a kiss

chorus
my only advantage is this stage
my only weapons are my words
your only choice is leaving now
and praying i'm not heard

bridge
This will indeed catch up to you
i'll try my best to play my part
to ensure for you its nice and painful
when your bodys like a sinking ark
and my words rush in like water
filling all the chambers of your heart
#3
Quote by LedZepKicksAzz
what do the parenthesis mean?


really? i said it right in the begining

anyway...they are background vocals, i only made note of it so the reader can understand why there's a change in rythm
#6
Quote by lithiumftw
try being a little ****ing original instead of somethin everyone does


Flaming and unconstructive.

*Reported*
#7
Quote by lithiumftw
try being a little ****ing original instead of somethin everyone does


thanks for the help big guy.....i'll keep that in mind

did posting that make you feel really cool? cause it should

anyway, I know this may not be the most creative piece but at the same time its def. not the least. Can you perhaps offer a little constructive crit? Maybe post something you have written as an example of what you consider creative. We're all supposed to be musicians and song writers here to help each other out. I would gladdly offer you some advice, and i'll do it without being a **** head like you