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#1
So my chemistry teacher during the school year failed me so now i have summer school. turns out hes the teacher of the summer school class too, so i mess with him everyday to get back at him..

ex.

*teacher talking to another student about his old teacher*
student: yea my old teacher was so bad i hated her, she never taught us anything...
me: Pshh atleast you didnt have my teacher...
*teacher stares at me, i laugh*

Theres more stories ill share later but i got to finish eating my applejacks then head of to school. So pit have you ever said something to your teacher just to be an asshole? Im running out of material and maybe some of your stories will inspire me
Quote by gu1t4rh3r0
One of my friends said to the principle once,
"NO! The voices tell me not to talk to you!" *Runs away on all fours*
The principle eventually caught up to him and gave him a drug test.
#2
Wow...how witty

This is the kind of crap I won't be putting up with when I finish my degree and find a teaching job
#3
One my girlfriend did I thought was pretty clever..
Our computer teacher was joking around and said something about an F13 button.. and she didn't get it.. everyone was kind of laughing that she didn't get it.. and when she realized why it was funny she told him..
"Yea that's kind of like the one about the F U button.."
I thought it was funny lol.

Edit: Since we have future strict teachers in the thread.. he was a really cool teacher and everyone knew it was all in good fun joking around.
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#4
Quote by Pr3vieWX360
have you ever said something to your teacher just to be an asshole?


I told my teacher to "**** Off" in 4th grade.

I was awesome.
#5
in science, i asked the teacher what the speed of dark was.
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#6
Teacher: Hey ____, when are you going to bring in food for us?
Me: Come on now, you and i both know you dont need it


teacher: ____, what did you get for number 37?
me: *quickly* A.
teacher: No its not A.
me: B.
teacher: No its not B.
me: C.
teacher: nope not c (tries to explain the question better and help me understand it)
me: *shouts out really fast* D! I meant D!


Teacher: What did you get for 14?
Me: c
Teacher: thats right, but why?
me: *gets mad* because thats the answer, what you think im like retarded?
Quote by gu1t4rh3r0
One of my friends said to the principle once,
"NO! The voices tell me not to talk to you!" *Runs away on all fours*
The principle eventually caught up to him and gave him a drug test.
#7
me to english teacher: aw miss, you'd make a good wrestler one day
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#8
generally I hate threads like this as it's usually just full of kids trying to be rebellious by making unnecessary and, more often than not, poor insults against hardworking teachers because they don't like authority...

However, as much as this isn't witty it made me laugh when one of my friends took a joke a little too far with a teacher and she got pretty angry.
Jokes were made about her getting married and it was all in good humour then he just says "Miss, when your husband married you did he get a receipt?". Sudden silence.
#9
Well, this wasn't something I said, but in year 10 I drew a giant penis and wrote "Dr Poke 'n' Grobe strikes again!" on my maths teacher's whiteboard. That didn't go down too well.
#10
Quote by smb
Wow...how witty

This is the kind of crap I won't be putting up with when I finish my degree and find a teaching job



Haha i dont like him. He ****ed with me like the whole year and now im stuck here. When i was failing his class i asked him during the school year what i was missing and needed to hand in and hed be like "idk thats not my job, check your folder" or w/e. He cant really fail me now. I personally believe he pretty much put me here, so its my job to **** with him for making me get up at 7am everyday during summer for school >.<
Quote by gu1t4rh3r0
One of my friends said to the principle once,
"NO! The voices tell me not to talk to you!" *Runs away on all fours*
The principle eventually caught up to him and gave him a drug test.
#12
After I got my test back in music, in which I got a good grade I said to her:

"Well...I got my good grade, you'll never see me here again...LATER!"

and once I said to my english teacher that I thought the lessons are boring as hell...since she asked why I don't participate much...

funniest one though (not from me)...

Teacher to a guy who got a bad grade: "You and me both know nothing will ever become of you"
Guy: "Pff...you wont be saying that when you're gonna be cleaning my house some day"
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#13
Quote by Pr3vieWX360
So my chemistry teacher during the school year failed me so now i have summer school. turns out hes the teacher of the summer school class too, so i mess with him everyday to get back at him..

You want to "get back" at your teacher, because you were too dumb to pass?
#14
Oh I just thought of one my friend said

Teacher: Michael, where's your coursework?
Michael: It was destroyed.
Teacher: Destroyed?
Michael: Yes. In the Great Coursework Fire.
#15
Well once in first grade I got really bored during a math lesson. So i jumped out of the window(second floor) and ran away. It was pretty awesome.
#16
One time I said "Hey, man. You got a joint?", the teaher said "No", I said "It'd be alot cooler if you did".
#17
Quote by _InsanitY_
in science, i asked the teacher what the speed of dark was.

/thread honestly that's pure win

my teacher called me crazy once, as in the mentally unstable way, and i said no u.... guess that doesnt count... after that i proceded to call her names all class long. still hate that *****bag's guts
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ofcourse i laughed xD

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#18
*Class keeps interupting because of talking*
Teacher - Why do you people keep talking and interupting my class?!!
Me - Because we don't want to listen

Result
Sent outside of classroom

Teacher - What on earth was that ment to be?
Me - the answer to your question
Teacher - How's this for a question, how bout your join me at your lunchtime?
Me - No thanks
Teacher - Now why don't you want to do that? *sarcastic tone*
Me - Because your voice annoys me, that and you smell funny.
#19
Not really witty, but it felt like it was in year 9 when we were all 13:

French teacher: Now for this, you'll need some scrap paper
Kid in class: There's none in the scrap paper drawer Miss
French teacher: Okay...erm...does anyone have any scrap paper?
Me: I have a French book, will that suffice?
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#20
Quote by Quidra
Well once in first grade I got really bored during a math lesson. So i jumped out of the window(second floor) and ran away. It was pretty awesome.



You did this when you were like 6? 7?
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#21
Quote by Xeus
you should watch summer heights high...all of you! its got a guy called josh takniwah or something and hes always being a pain to teachers


Jonah Takaleua
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFGVzskou-8
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#22
Quote by Xeus
you should watch summer heights high...all of you! its got a guy called josh takniwah or something and hes always being a pain to teachers


that is an amaing show!!!been watching it on youtube
On topic the onl thing i'e ever done on that is get the ringtone of ji carey goin "what are you staring at f**ker" and play it at random intervals in the middle of class,was pretty funny
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#23
Quote by _InsanitY_
in science, i asked the teacher what the speed of dark was.


no idea why this made me laugh....
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#24
Art teacher: Alex wouldn't it be better if you moved around the other side of the table

me: no im alright here thanks

AT: no go on you'll have more light

*lots of deliberating*

*moves round other side*

me: oh sir I can see you now so I can paint a huge **** on your head in my still life.


Something like that, it was rather amusing at the time.
#25
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
You did this when you were like 6? 7?


8 actually, i got sent to school a little late.
#26
Not me, but a friend. He was just messing around with things like pens, rulers, etc. The teacher was just taking his things away one by one through the course of the lesson.

When she ran out of things to take she asked him to hand over his bag. My friend now agitated stands up, pulls down his trousers and says:

"For fuck sake, why don't you just take my virginity while your at it!"
#28
Quote by hazzmatazz
Not me, but a friend. He was just messing around with things like pens, rulers, etc. The teacher was just taking his things away one by one through the course of the lesson.

When she ran out of things to take she asked him to hand over his bag. My friend now agitated stands up, pulls down his trousers and says:

"For fuck sake, why don't you just take my virginity while your at it!"

that made me laugh
#29
check this out. In my freshman year of college, I was in this Chem class and the prof was talking about viagra and that when it was first being invented it was supposed to be a weight loss pill. He said something to the effect of "...now we all know if you take this pill you don't really lose weight." which was funny enough then I said "Well, maybe a little." everyone cracked up, that was great.
#30
Quote by sam b
You want to "get back" at your teacher, because you were too dumb to pass?



yes.
Quote by gu1t4rh3r0
One of my friends said to the principle once,
"NO! The voices tell me not to talk to you!" *Runs away on all fours*
The principle eventually caught up to him and gave him a drug test.
#31
Quote by wyantsm
check this out. In my freshman year of college, I was in this Chem class and the prof was talking about viagra and that when it was first being invented it was supposed to be a weight loss pill. He said something to the effect of "...now we all know if you take this pill you don't really lose weight." which was funny enough then I said "Well, maybe a little." everyone cracked up, that was great.

The bolded part implies that what you were about to say was epic, that did not happen, I will see you in court. Good Day.
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#33
Quote by wyantsm
check this out. In my freshman year of college, I was in this Chem class and the prof was talking about viagra and that when it was first being invented it was supposed to be a weight loss pill. He said something to the effect of "...now we all know if you take this pill you don't really lose weight." which was funny enough then I said "Well, maybe a little." everyone cracked up, that was great.


I don't understand the "epic" funniness in this?
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#34
Quote by Quidra
.....So i jumped out of the window(second floor) and ran away. It was pretty awesome.



I have GOT to try that :P:
#35
Quote by hazzmatazz
Not me, but a friend. He was just messing around with things like pens, rulers, etc. The teacher was just taking his things away one by one through the course of the lesson.

When she ran out of things to take she asked him to hand over his bag. My friend now agitated stands up, pulls down his trousers and says:

"For fuck sake, why don't you just take my virginity while your at it!"


That speed of dark one was cool too.


One time we were talking about killing pest rabbits with myxomatosis and my mate said,
"Rather than poisoning them, why don't we just introduce all the rabbits into Ethiopia; kill two birds with one stone."

Then my other mate said,
"Or we could introduce Ethiopians into Australia."

I thought it was pretty good.
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#37
Pr3vieWX360 - I'd like to point out that being witty (the thread title) and saying things to be an asshole (your actual thread) are two different things. Maybe it's this lack of attention to detail that's got you stuck in summer school. you know, little details like handing in coursework and stuff.

Some teachers are d***s, deal with it and do the damn work. If the worst comes to the worst - chemistry's not exactly difficult, rearranging formula, covalent bonds and the difference between a colloid and a solid isn’t hard.
#38
Quote by Xeus
you should watch summer heights high...all of you! its got a guy called josh takniwah or something and hes always being a pain to teachers

Jonah Takalua. Funniest character ever.

Jonah: "Oh miss you farted!"
*Gets sent to the back of the room*
*Sits a while and sneezes really loud*
Teacher: "Jonah be quiet!"
Jonah: "Sorry miss, I'm allergic to some **** up here...I think it's your fart".



I'll try and find a youtube video.

EDIT: Watch this instead. Jonah at his finest. It's in there.
Last edited by fretsonfire74 at Jul 30, 2008,
#39
Quote by BenFoffenbock

That speed of dark one was cool too.


One time we were talking about killing pest rabbits with myxomatosis and my mate said,
"Rather than poisoning them, why don't we just introduce all the rabbits into Ethiopia; kill two birds with one stone."

Then my other mate said,
"Or we could introduce Ethiopians into Australia."

I thought it was pretty good.

'08 Gretsch White Falcon
'98 Fender USA Deluxe Tele
'79 Greco Les Paul Standard
Airline Stratotone Crafter GAE8

A bunch of funky pedals

Handwired 50 Watt Plexi Lead Clone w/ Orange 4x12
#40
Maths teacher, waiting for everyone to come back to class after the short break: "Elliot, hurry up!"
Elliot: "Coming mum!"

Not that great, but still amusing

Priest: Now can anyone tell me what Advent is about?
Boy: When Jesus died.
Priest: Umm, no.

And then there was this time on French exchange, I really don't know what came over me .
Me to teacher (**** knows why): Do I look like a prostitute?
[Chances are that I did, I was wearing short shorts and fishnet tights)
Teacher: How am I meant to know what a prostitue looks like?
Me: Because you use them

Whoops
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