#5
Woohoo, fartjokes.
Back to the 90's.


Ive ruined two pairs of underwear due to too much farting.


MC name = Bearrorism
#6
I've ripped out nice farts in several places...
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#7
in the middle of an exam... everybody was quiet... my silent asian friend who never talks lets a big one rip.. needless to say i cracked up.. and my laughs stupid enough to make anyone laugh at it.
OHMYGOSHLOOK its a sig
#8
back in MS i farted during silent reading time..............i was beat red

recently while working (mover) i farted in the back of the semi trailer, was a hot day, and was sweaty. to put it lightly...........sweaty ass and farts dont smell pleasent. the trailer stunk for about 8 mins.........lol
#9
A guy in my grade sharted at school during class 2 years ago. Then the teacher wouldn't let him go to the toilet. Went like this:
"Miss can I go to the toilet?"
"No, Simon, you can wait 10 minutes until lunch."
"Ok..."

A minute or two later he says
"Miss...I've REALLY got to go to the toilet."

She then let him go.
#11
I was dozing on the couch and my friend put one of my hamsters on me. It crawled up on my ass and I let one rip. The hamster was stunned and fell off of me.
GHOST BLOWJOB!
WHOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
#12
the first sound on one of my bands recordings is a fart... kinda funny.
You are not a slave...
#13
Today I was at the Lynden Park Mall in Hamilton, Ontario...

Long story short, i was browsing West 49 and on my way out managed to pull a huge squeaker from the back all the way out of the store. I pressed my brothers to walk faster and on my way out heard "HOLY HELL! WHO RIPPED THAT ONE!?"

I lol'd harder than i ever have in my LIFE
#14
Quote by Stratocaster88
...and on my way out heard "HOLY HELL! WHO RIPPED THAT ONE!?"

That part got me haha
"If you don't show it, I cannot grope it."

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.."
#15
Today my teacher constantly farted, and I must say, they were the worst damn farts I have ever smelt.

And to top it off, he was quietly giggling to himself after each one.
#16
The time was 9:15, the sky grey and dull.
It was our fortnightly assembly.
Most boringest **** ever, everyone looked half asleep.

Some person was talking about some **** that no one cared about.
Not a sound except for the uninthuseastic voice of the speaker.

And then...

I felt it coming, crawling down my ass.
It stopped, held in by my magnificent ass muscles.
I held it for a while, my gluteus maximus was becoming sore.
The bubble felt small.
I though to myself: i'll let this one go, it will be silent.

Big mistake.

KA-BLAM!

One of the biggest farts i ever unleashed on to this earth came ripping out of my ass, It's power over 3000!
I unleashed the focking fury all over the hall, it's cataclysmic roar pummelling the ears of all around me.
Students, teachers, parents no one was spared.

Everyone stood silent, their mouths agape.
And then they burst out in uncontrollable laughter, about 5 minutes before they could stop.
I buried my face in my hands, and was the most embarassed person to ever be in the hall in a looooonnnng time.
Quote by lithiumftw
i am actually lolling right now!!! lmao!

After 1 and a half long years, someone laughed at one of my posts.

F*CK YEAH
#17
My friend during a squat in yoga He ran out of th class. My teacher had never been so dissapointed. I laughed and got in trouble though.
#18
After eating 17 slices of pizza at an all you can eat Pizza Hut, I farted.

I thought I'd shat myself, but when I checked there was just a greasy stain on the inside of my boxers, outside of my boxers, and inside of my jeans.

It was clear, like water, and there were no solids!

And no, it wasn't piss.....

Grease stain FTW!
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#19
i was at my patsors house and me and my friends were just dawdling with a puzzle next to the fireplace. well i was in the corner and i farted. they heard it and it was no big deal. but then it smelled so i took the lighter on the fireplace to get rid of the smell. so i lit it behind my back, and all of a sudden i here *VOOSH!* and my friend says it light fire and hit the back wall. so in short. i could have totally destroyed my pastors house with a fart
#20
Quote by StratoSlayer
The time was 9:15, the sky grey and dull.
It was our fortnightly assembly.
Most boringest **** ever, everyone looked half asleep.

Some person was talking about some **** that no one cared about.
Not a sound except for the uninthuseastic voice of the speaker.

And then...

I felt it coming, crawling down my ass.
It stopped, held in by my magnificent ass muscles.
I held it for a while, my gluteus maximus was becoming sore.
The bubble felt small.
I though to myself: i'll let this one go, it will be silent.

Big mistake.

KA-BLAM!

One of the biggest farts i ever unleashed on to this earth came ripping out of my ass, It's power over 3000!
I unleashed the focking fury all over the hall, it's cataclysmic roar pummelling the ears of all around me.
Students, teachers, parents no one was spared.

Everyone stood silent, their mouths agape.
And then they burst out in uncontrollable laughter, about 5 minutes before they could stop.
I buried my face in my hands, and was the most embarassed person to ever be in the hall in a looooonnnng time.
i am actually lolling right now!!! lmao!
#21
Quote by Daydream_Goo
My boss said he farted so loud while sleeping he woke himself up. I laughed.

dude my parents are so old they do that too! lately here in cali there was an earthquake. but i thought my dad farted. i mean i didnt feel the earthquake i simply woke up and figured. "this **** is startin to piss me off"
#22
Holy triple post Batman!
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.