#1
We met on a wet night beneath a street light
and we began to contemplate a future together.
We loved each other, but occasionally we found our nights
become monotonous. There was no variety in the bedroom,
playing the same games, using the same names.
A nightmare comes to me in a dream
and there it is. A vision. A landscape of propane
and ethanol. Pride then, now the fall.

I ran it by with you tentatively, and was surprised
by your susceptibility to the idea. You even
made the majority of the moves. You picked the place
and we hid in the darkness night after night,
waiting for the perfect woman to walk by.
The hilt of the knife burned my hand.
Coming home from work, she hides beneath her
umbrella as the rain poured down,
taunting her, and she knew not.

She walked passed and you grabbed her by her hair
and I slid the knife beneath her chin. She bled
quickly and couldn’t scream. Dragging her in the greenery,
we waited for her pulse to cease. We took her back to the apartment
and played our games with the dead.
Variety being the spice of life, my wife
knelt beside me and we stirred
our concoction to savour.

Frozen, a face staring in horror. A cocktail dress one night,
a nurse the next. Forever changing, the rules are always
the same. Come the sunrise, we will not speak of what
has been done and what will be done. Even though
we love each other more than life itself.
Some say three is a crowd.
We say three is enough.
For now.

#3
Very very well written.

I really enjoyed this. Sorry, I just don't feel like critiquing. It was that good.
This is not a pipe
#4
Mike this is my favourite piece from you ever. Period.

It was ****ing good.

Might be back with some nitpicks but I doubt it.

Just thought I'd let you know.
#5
Quote by Jammydude44
Mike this is my favourite piece from you ever. Period.

It was ****ing good.


This.

there was a much stronger sense of direction about this than most of what I've read from you. Your pieces are always 'good' but they tend to... umm... I guess sort of just hover over a meaning or course of thought. They more prod me than actually slap me in my face and shove a message in my mouth and then force me to chew on it.

Sometimes that way works better, even though it seems overly blunt... but it was just pure ear sex to read this out loud and it just compliments the message so well.

I think I'm in love.
#6
Cheers everyone. I'll explain how I came about to write this. I was reading a book about the English language and how it's changed over the centuries. Firstly, the topic was the classic writers (Shakespeare, Donne et al.) and how they wrote using mainly monosyllabic words (To be or not to be...) which is the inspiration for the first couple of lines. Next was how French words and phrases keep the accents even though English has none (café. The title was one of the examples, which is a consenting sexual relationship with three co-habiting people. Now, I thought, I could write something about this, but I wanted to make it more macabre, more seeing with my style of writing. So I immediately thought of necrophilia (as I do) and the processes involved with becoming a necrophiliac, namely in this case murder. I had actually planned to extend the necophilial aspects but I decided that would probably be too much for some people. Even with this as it is I thought maybe some would be a bit unnerved by it or at least not see past the overlying imagery. I'm glad that's not been the case so far.

If anyone wants me to crit anything in return, tell me and I will get to them tomorrow morning. I can't tonight because I can't get a lot of time on the internet this evening.
#7
I always appreciate your input, Mike. I do have a new one up, but I didn't really offer much so don't do it if you don't have time. It's the Anorexia one if you get time, but seriously, don't worry about it if its a hassle. And I love how nonchalant you were about necrophilia in your explanation... it made me giggle.

#8
Liked, liked, liked, liked, liked.

What? Your expected criticism??
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!