#1
read this it was on his website its pretty funny


I want all my fans to know that it is with great humility and embarrassment that I have to inform you that I was arrested tonight.
I hope that my forthrightness and honesty will help to ease some of your hurt. Here are the facts.

After my show in Mansfield, MA, I decided to try my hand at mixing the perfect watermelon margarita. Having served more than two dozen, and sipping from each drink as it was delivered, I became very inebriated. The rest makes me sick to my stomach, but here goes:

I thought in my impaired state that it would be a good idea to play Grand Theft Auto 4: Liberty City. It was not. As I left my cousin Roman's apartment with the afternoon to spare, the alcohol (and the loneliness) got to me. The combination of Patron, Triple Sec, Watermelon Pucker and my cousin Roman's misleading promise of the American Dream brought out the darkest side of me.

I decided to walk into traffic and stop a cab. When the driver came to a halt, I opened his door and ripped him from his seat. This is when I began to pummel him without mercy. When he fell to the ground covered in his own bright red blood, I slid into the driver's seat and drove through a busy park with reckless abandon.

I won't lie to you. I hit many, many people. While I can't say how many it was exactly, I garnered 4 white stars and a large police search canvas area. I know I should have surrendered, but I just don't know what got into me. While listening to my favorite hip-hop station, I led police on a three-mile chase through areas dense with innocent people. I was eventually shot, leading my vision to become monochromatic.


I want all my fans to know that I will do my best to redeem myself in your eyes. Though I came-to outside of the Liberty City Police Station two hours later after my arrest, I know that the damage has been done. I have decided from this point on to obey the plot's directive; to figure out just what the hell I'm supposed to do in this game while hitting fewer people and lampposts.

I hope those who hold tickets for the upcoming dates on my tour will still come to enjoy the shows to come.


Regretfully,

John,
proprietor,
Niko Bellic
Quote by RizzoWashburn
Oh, and this is the internet. I have the right to be a douchebag. Fuck off.
#2
**** I'm supposed to see him in like 2 months.
I'll believe in anything and you'll believe in anything.
last.fm
#3
That had me for a second, then I realized
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CFH82, I love you. I didn't laugh, but my god, I love you.

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Holy shit, that was epic. A mighty roar escapeth'd my mouth.

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I saw a penis.

last.fm
#5
Gear:
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Gibson SG Standard
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#7
John Myers is by far the FUNNIEST guitar player ever.
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#9
Quote by GoodCharloteSux
John Myers is by far the FUNNIEST guitar player ever.



Gear:
Musicman Stingray 4 string HH
Tech 21 Sansamp Para Driver
Ampeg V-4B
Ampeg SVT-212AV 2x12

Gibson SG Standard
Vox AC15
Keeley compressor
Keeley Dark Side
Boss RC-2 Loop
Korg Pandora
Crybaby Wah
#11
Quote by GoodCharloteSux
John Myers is by far the FUNNIEST guitar player ever.


who the **** is john myers
Quote by RizzoWashburn
Oh, and this is the internet. I have the right to be a douchebag. Fuck off.
#16
Quote by freedoms_stain
Until he turns the console off.

Fuck, and I had front row seats too..
#17
Quote by Spamwise
So wait..How long is he going to be in jail?

Wait I've read your posts before....you are smarter than this master Spamwise.
its 1:56 am and i just ate 6 chocolate chip cookies in not even near as many minutes
#19
Quote by Ash on fires
Wait I've read your posts before....you are smarter than this master Spamwise.

I was kidding. Thanks though haha
#20
ROFL. i thought it was serious until the "I garnered 4 white stars and a large police search canvas area" part.
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Once, I watched Star Wars episode 4. I timed myself so that I came right when the death star blew up.

Afterwards, Han Solo said "Great shot kid, that was one in a million!"
#21
I chuckled.
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Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

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wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#26
i dont know how this confuses some people, but thats ****ing funny
#27
Haha some of the press thought this was serious too.

I love John Mayer for his personality as much as his playing. Some think he's a douche, I think he's just intelligent and extremely funny.
#30
Quote by Spamwise
I was kidding. Thanks though haha


I know. I was kidding your kid. Or something...
its 1:56 am and i just ate 6 chocolate chip cookies in not even near as many minutes
#31
Quote by GoodCharloteSux
John Myers is by far the FUNNIEST guitar player ever.

Id like to think Paul gilbert and John Petrucci (at times) are also as funny
Quote by Sloopy
I'm not in a wheelchair, but I own one just for fun.
Last edited by hyroglyph!c at Jul 31, 2008,
#32
Quote by CFH82
That had me for a second, then I realized

+1
Current Gear:
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Audient iD22 interface
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Adam S3A monitors
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You CAN play anything with anything....but some guitars sound right for some things, and not for others. Single coils sound retarded for metal, though those who are apeshit about harpsichord probably beg to differ.