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#1
so theres this cute girl i know and she said she wants to do it tonight...its my first time guys so i need some advice on how to piledriver her into oblivion...lol not really but any tips would be good
#2
w00t sex thread.
Quote by LPDave
and my mom then told me to masturbate more.

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Big burly men grunting without shirts on pretty much summed up my childhood.

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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do more look like?
#3
insert you penis

not going to tell you where. you can decide when you get there
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#4
Stick it in the right hole. Ya know, the pink one that's oozing with juices.

Oh...and don't die from vaginal suffocation!
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#5
Quote by IEatOrphans
Use lube.



Why the **** would he need lube? She's young...unless he's bangin grandma or has a horse's dick in his pants, he shouldn't need it.
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#6
Quote by crackhutch
Stick it in the right hole. Ya know, the pink one that's oozing with juices.

Oh...and don't die from vaginal suffocation!


Ive heard about the V.S. ..any tips on how to avoid it? Because i want to "go down" if you know what i mean...advice on such activities?
#8
Quote by crackhutch
Why the **** would he need lube? She's young...unless he's bangin grandma or has a horse's dick in his pants, he shouldn't need it.


some are blessed...
#9
there was a kid who went to my school last year who claimed he had a 9in by 8in penis
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#10
Quote by metalman9
Ive heard about the V.S. ..any tips on how to avoid it? Because i want to "go down" if you know what i mean...advice on such activities?

The big C, and the whole experience isnt too tough, dont worry about it.

edit: see crackhutch below
Gibson SG Standard
Ibanez S2170FB
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TEXAS A&M
Last edited by sacamano79 at Aug 2, 2008,
#11
Quote by metalman9
so theres this cute girl i know and she said she wants to do it tonight...its my first time guys so i need some advice on how to piledriver her into oblivion...lol not really but any tips would be good
Do that.
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#12
Quote by metalman9
Ive heard about the V.S. ..any tips on how to avoid it? Because i want to "go down" if you know what i mean...advice on such activities?


well...first you must find the clitoris. Then lick the **** out of it, and when she starts to orgasm and puts her hand behind your head, move your mouth away so you don't get slammed in there and suffocate. Otherwise your town will have a good headline for the front page.
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#15
what Maidenfan066 said

make sure to insert ur penis before the actuall sex

and make sure to rub her clit with somthin rough like steel wool or a pt scrubber
she be having endless screaming orgasms
and make sure not to stop even if she says so women tend to get a little confusing when there bein pleasured
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Yep, it's Soviet UG versus bdfs05.

good luck.

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fuck yea i got sigged


Quote by MyNameIsLame

When you're in the Pit, substitute any valid, reasonable answer with one of the following: fap, smoke pot, drink alcohol, rape, and/or murder.
#17
Quote by IEatOrphans
Use lube.

WTF She isnt some oldass grandma,she is probaby young, shes good to go!.
WHATS she going to do, OMG IM SO HAPPY YOUR BROUGHT THAT BOTTLE OF LUBE,I WOULDVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO TAKE YOUR 3 INCHES OF FURY!.
#18
HAHA! Superbad XD
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#19
Whatever you do just use a...dammit what's that thing called...

God I need to get to sleep...biking all day and staying up all night is not fun.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#20
Quote by StrokeMidnight
Whatever you do just use a...dammit what's that thing called...

God I need to get to sleep...biking all day and staying up all night is not fun.



You mean that thing your parents should have used?
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#21
Quote by InvaderTSN
His penis was a rectangle?



yes, this was also the kid who would claim that half of his face didn't work and then it would move and you could clearly see it but then if you said anything he would distract you with his story about how awesome his 9 by 8 **** is

funny stuff

he moved like 2 weeks after arriving at my school. people just can't accept a man with a geometrically perfect tool I guess
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#22
superbad is great.
anyway if its her first time to then it wont be that bad.
just remember to pull out for a couple seconds and go down on her if your about to burst(youll know) that way you can last longer and shell love you forever.
oh and go down on her and really get into it vigorously.
#23
Quote by InvaderTSN
You must remove the sigil stone in the main tower to close the portal to Oblivion.



wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
HAHAHAHA......
#24
Quote by crackhutch
You mean that thing your parents should have used?


I could come up with something as a rebuttal to that, but:

1. I am tired.

2. I don't want to waste my energy on you.

Night.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#26
take a dump on her chest
Quote by John Petrucci
When it comes to practicing, I would spend about 63 hours a day
#28
Quote by Maidenfan066
there was a kid who went to my school last year who claimed he had a 9in by 8in penis

chodechodechodechode

well, near chode, but fat enough
#29
we had a really great nickname for him, can't remember what it was though.

that kid was ABUSED
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#30
Quote by StrokeMidnight
I could come up with something as a rebuttal to that, but:

1. I am tired.

2. I don't want to waste my energy on you.

Night.


Watch out, he'll be back in about 5 posts.
On topic: just relax, it comes naturally.
#31
Shit.


IN HER MOUTH.
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That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
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Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



www.myspace.com/tarsusmusic
#32
Quote by TooFast
Shit.


IN HER MOUTH.


I saw a movie in a porn store before called **** Happens...and it has a Sequel...**** Happens Again. ROFLmeow!
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#34
Quote by drunkinkoala
Punch her clit.


is it true that this makes girls go wild? i think i saw it in a porno once, and he didn't stop there...after punching her there, he inserted his whole fist inside...is this pleasurable?
#36
Quote by dullsilver_mike
Your first time is going to be bad for her.... no way around it I'm afraid... no way around it at all


maybe im just naturally good? thanks for raining on my parade ass hole
#37
Remember all the pron you watched.
Quote by MH400
a girl on the interwebz?

You have 2 options.

1. Tits.
2. GTFO.

#38
Quote by metalman9
maybe im just naturally good? thanks for raining on my parade ass hole


I told you because it's better you don't even enjoy it for the 2 minutes it goes on, It wouldn't be fair to her that you actually managed to enjoy yourself while she was confusedly trying to figure out what the hell you were trying to do.

Have fun buddy, and here's real advice. Don't go for every fancy position porn reminds you of, just keep it simple and enjoy!
#39
All these guys are wrong. Flip her over doggystyle, give her a good ol' donkey punch but before wrap your hand in her hair, punch, then hold on, if you make it 8 seconds you win!!
#40
Quote by kOoL AiD2420
All these guys are wrong. Flip her over doggystyle, give her a good ol' donkey punch but before wrap your hand in her hair, punch, then hold on, if you make it 8 seconds you win!!


how do you donkey punch? and why would i bring my dog into this...your gross
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