recently i was out with a mate and some guy we just met. We were all drunk. anyways my mate (drunkest of all of us) said to the random guy:

"You know whats awesome? Shrooms. **** YEAH SHROOMS"
random guy laughs at the randomness.

My mate continued:
"You know whats even more awesome!? Sex on shrooooooooms!!"
He then proceeds to hip thrust the air yelling "**** YEAH SEX ON SHROOOMS!!"

after a minute of him raping the air, the random guy asked:
"Who have you had sex with on shrooms"

The drunk guy: "Me... what? i havent had sex on shrooms..."

It was a fun night, but made me think...
What are some of the greatest drunken rants youve heard/ said?
The best ive heard is myself going on about how humans see colours different from aliens...
Quote by MoshPitRock
that's just what they do.
there's probably humans doing the same thing.
quit being so paranoid.

Apparently I had a long conversation with the host's mum about how I'm what society would call a racist and don't consider it a problem. I don't remember any of it but that's what I've been told.
Quote by Arthur Curry
which part of that was a rant

and thats not a great drunken rant...
A friend of mine is Bulgarian, and he speaks immaculate English. Just this one time he got pissed and starting giving out to me in Bulgarian, I literally fell over laughing. He completely denies it, to this day.
Ego inflating praise here:
Quote by Fishyesque
That is SOOOOOOOOOOO sig worthy! Pure awesomeness to you, sir.

C wut I did thar Fishy?

's UG
I have said a lot of things in regards to the size of my penis that I regret saying when I was drunk.
I was told that one time when I was at a mate's house for New Years Eve that I was staring at a plate of jelly and making a running commentary on new developments as it moved.
Quote by dannyniceboy
I consider myself to be really intelligent and I've gotten into a fight coz this kid thought it was nasty to put sour cream on enchiladas.

Quote by Minkaro
The fact that I went TOO high singing a Darkness song on Singstar

Well since this thread is more about being drunk than having a rant, I'll tell you all about last night.

*gather round*

(Invalid img)

Not you, NAAN BREAD!


Me and my friend got pissed last night at his house, then decided to head into town. We bumped into two other friends, a couple, and we all ended up at this random bar, ordering some horrible drink. So there is this DJ at the bar, I start talking to him about music, I'm all like 'ohh yeah, he's mint' to whatever artist the DJ says... I can't really remember what he was saying tbh. But he slams on Curtis Mayfield - Move on Up so I go over to the dance floor, start dancing with my friends then this random woman. I'm getting friendly with her so we go to talk, alls good. Apart from I find out she's 32..... and I'm 16.

Of course I don't tell her this, I've just turned 18! I must be if I'm out around town in a bar at midnight! So we go outside for a cig, we talk some more. I find out she has a seven year old kid! and a boyfriend! But I think she said he was somewhere, like out of town or something, so I thought 'Well, why not?' So instead of walking back in I talk to her some more.

I tell her I play piano and guitar, and she guesses that I don't sing. So I'm stood there and she's encouraging me to sing for her... I'm like 'no, really'. Then she ends up singing to me, she wasn't bad actually. We go back inside and her friend is chatting up my mate, which was rather funny as she was Indian, not very attractive at all and he looked well awkward, he looked at me like 'get me out of here!'. But the couple we were with were like 'lets go to another bar' so I left with them, leaving my mate (who's also 16) with the 30 odd Indian woman, haha.

I stumbled home at 4am, turns out my friend managed to shrug of the woman and he went home aswell. Weird, weird night.
Quote by Jackolas
Which part of any of this was funny?

If that was to me, it wasn't really meant to be a hilarious story, just a weird experience.
I don't really have any good drunken stories. There was that house party my mate had when we sobered up the next morning to find a canoe in the garden.

He didn't even own a canoe.
I had a friend who once rambled on for 5 minutes or with everybody listening really closely

and then suddenly everybody in the room with him included realised he had no idea what he was talking about (with him actually admitting it "and I've got no idea what I'm saying at the point")

it was hilarious

Quote by filthandfury
I don't really have any good drunken stories. There was that house party my mate had when we sobered up the next morning to find a canoe in the garden.

He didn't even own a canoe.

one evening some guys I know had a new years countdown celebration with champage at traffic lights with the timers that tell you how much time is left until the light changes

they later found some skis in a dumpsters and try skiing down flights of stairs in the centre of town
Quote by Jackolas
Which part of any of this was funny?

i lold.
I once went on for 3 hours on how all people shouldn't try to be anything, they should just try to be. Literally that was the entire basis of this rant that included talk of my history teacher who was an ex-marine sniper that saw action during the "Black Hawk Down" episode, George Custer and Crazy Horse, and emo kids. Apparently it was the most sensible stuff I've ever said.
Hey babe wanna have sex while on shrooms?
If You See Me Posting In The Pit HIT ME.
Quote by KingJak236
My hamster used to bite me when I picked it up, then it got too old and fat to bite and died in a pool of it's own vomit.

Quote by Kensai
That's the rockstar way to go. I salute him.
I have some stories which were funny when you were there. If I have the right amount, I'm a really cool drunk.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.

Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss