#1
EMM GIMME!!!

Gimme my ketchup, gimme my fries
Gimme my burgers, make sure it's double size
EMM!!!!! GIMME!!!! GIMME!!!!

Gimme my candy, gimme my pie
Gimme my milkshakes, gimme my pizza
EMM!!! Gimme!!!! GIMME!!!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(fart here)*

(than burp)*

EMM!!!!!!!!!!! GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#6
even with all the capitals and exclamation marks, it just lays there.

gimme
list a bunch of foods (slip in only one rhyme)
fart
burp
gimme.

there's little to say,
because there's little here.
nothing wrong with keeping the subject simple
but if the construction has no nuance,
it's dead boring.

keeping this open more than 24hrs from the time you posted it will be a travesty.
you won't stand to learn anything from it
because you haven't done anything with it.
try to do more
even if it appears to be less.

i've seen pieces with as few as 10 words that rocked my socks off.
you have 43 and bored me to tears.
Meadows
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