#1
Here is a song I wrote called "My Soliloquy" (Soliloquy means inner thoughts for those who didn't know). The lyrics were written for someone I have feelings for and come straight from the heart.

Verse 1:
You were like the wind and I was a fire
You made me stronger.
Erasing the anarchy that I was causing.
You brought ease to my lonesome heart.

Pre-chorus:
The inspiration you gave to me without acknowledgment
Put me together once again

Chorus:
Give me your hand
Give me your heart
And let me show you what this could be like
Let me open the door
To love's labyrinth
And guide you through the dangers

Breakdown 1:
Before I met you I was broken and looking for answers
And when I met you I was fixed with all the answers

(Chorus)

Verse 2:
You were like an angel and I was a sinner
You made me pure once again
We've had our ups and downs
Put that won't ever put me down
Your kindness let me learn how I should be


©2008 Trenton Justice
#2
There's some strong points about it, but there'y also it flaws. Just my opinion though, do what you want with it:


Verse 1:

You were like the wind and I was a fire
You made me stronger.

How about "Each breath made stronger"?

Pre-chorus:

The inspiration you gave to me without acknowledgment

You sound like a lawyer in this one.


The chorus is good, but I don't like the end:

To love's labyrinth
And guide you through the dangers

Verse 2:
We've had our ups and downs
Put that won't ever put me down

Doesn't seem right: a second ago, you were saying that she's your angel and the next you're saying that "we've had our ups and downs". It's like saying "I'll be with you to the end of the world / Want to catch some pizza later?". If you want to express that some of the things between the two of you didn't worked out as planned, do a verse about it , don't mix it up with "You made me pure once again"

Also, a rythym with "downs" and "down"? How much time did it take you to come with that?

Put that won't ever put me down?
Put put put?
You meant "But that won't ever put me down?"

My opinion, take it or leave it.