#1
This is the beginning of a novel I'm writing. It will make sense the further I write it.


There is a forethought at the back of my brain, and I am the first to admit I have not the slightest idea how to take it, my good fellow. You see, what I have done is fall in love, an unwise thing in anyone’s book, especially mine, but more about that book lat…

- B L I N K -

…and you’ll miss the dénouement, the grand finale, the pièce de résistance. You’ll miss the acrobats fall on top of the aristocrats and a right good laugh. You need a laugh. Your face looks drawn.
The crayons were too thick. I ended up with a Groucho Marx ‘tache.
He wasn’t that bad looking, you know.
Bullsh…

- B L I N K -

Back to this book. My dear fellow, you thought I had forgotten didn’t you? Well your (un)reliable narrator will keep you right, don’t you worry. This book, a grand book if I do say so myself, is what I have named The Book of Little Secrets and White Lies and Other Personal Propaganda Tools, which for your convenience I shall simply refer to as Book. A nice easy name, don’t you agree my good fellow? On the first page of Book, I have written a name. That is all. Well, whose is it? I hear you ask and I shall tell you because you were so polite. « That statement is not intended to be sarcastic, although I can see how you’d interpret it so, and for that I apologise. The name, about which so politely inquired, is the Personal name of the lady I befriended in Tokyo – not actually Tokyo but I shan’t disclose the actual location because GramPA RISző might be displeased. She is, or was shall we say, called Nemo Wetahi and My God and yours too she was beautiful, moreso even than my gorgeous handwriting, although my dear fellow, should you be reading this in type, I apologise profusely for your lack of opportunity to grace your eyes upon my handwriting. By the way, I cannot help but notice it has been a while since you

- B L I N K -

ed in a few night now. Are you okay? It’s just because I’ve bought all this shit for us and you haven’t really reacted to it. Is it me? Have I upset you hon?
It’s work, love. I’m tired, I just don’t have the stamina to do work and you. I…I just need some rest, y’know?
Yeah, exac…
…and just to get some time off work, y’know?
…exactly, I so get you. Well, if you change your mind, you have my number.
Obviously…
Ha, yeah…so, I’d better go, I’ll end up getting a bill the size of

- B L I N K -

My good fellow. I’ve just unearthed a few wordy gems in Book. For example, did you know that another name for your teeth is mompyns? Absolutely bloody fantastic! mind the French. Queer lot. Obsolagnium is a waning sexual desire due to advancing age. A synonym for your buttocks is curple. Moth-patches is an old term for freckles. Cacoethes scribendi is an habitual urge to write (as exampled by yours truly). The D in D-Day stands for Day. I am such a nerd, as American Youths would put it, when it comes to words.
Three’s a crowd.

- B L I N K -

Obsession, a persistent preoccupation with an unreasonable idea, from Latin obsidēre – sit against.

Nympholepsy, ecstasy or frenzy caused by desire of the unattainable. A collective sigh from the walls as the room grows slightly smaller and colder.

- B L I N K -

Hey, this is – MUD –, just calling to tell you I’ll be out of town for a couple of months. I…I wanted to tell…this is stupid…um…look, I like you, a lot, God so fucking much but I have to get away for a while. I feel, I don’t know…smothered I guess. You cling to me too much and I know we’ve never seen each other all that often, it just feels like you’re trying too hard. I’m so fucking so…yeah I’ll be there in a minute…I’m so sorry but it’s for the better. See you soon, - FUCK - .

- B L I N K -

The sound of a heart breaking is a sound I hope you shall never hear again, my good fellow. After all, the pain it leaves is of the emotional variety, the one which hurts you the most and takes the longest to heal. Memories float on a river of sorrow. They all do.
Did I tell you that I went for a walk in the park today? I feel I may have, but you were distracted, I think. Yes, you must have been, for my tale was most engrossing. Here you may need these

- B L I N K -

and suddenly, from out of nowhere came a large, dark-skinned man in his twenties. He had a knife blade in each hand, no word of a lie, and he approached a young helpless mother and her uncaring infant. But I, my good fellow, was not to be dismayed into shock by this out-of-the-blue occurrence. I lunged for the attacker with all the grace of shit being thrown into a fan but I managed to wrestle both knives from his grasp and an onlooker phones the police whilst I held the nasty black down. Now you know a hero.

- B L I N K -

but then again maybe it was nothing, just a shadow in the dark, playing games with

- B L I N K -

Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, do

- B L I N K -

must have been. These things after all do not exist once a child matures into an adult. Or

- B L I N K -

An absolute abomination, my good fellow. I, your ever faithful narrator, have had a good few bad experiences with those fucking witches of death. Mark my words, mark them well. A woman is an extraordinary scorn and wrath. She will make you cry and she will make you bleed. She will spend your money and she will burn your books. Your dear books, my good fellow. Never trust the tongue of a woman because she will ensnare you in her trap. And why are they so happy? I shall tell you. They know not, they understand not, they will not. Makes as much sense as pouring vinegar on a burn.
Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we

- B L I N K -
#2
Mike that was such a well sustained read.

I'll be back with more, hopefully, but the wa you kept it up was superb.
#3
i thought it was well written.

i'd suggest you tone down the constant references to yourself as the narrator, though. i mean, you can stand all of the "my good fellow" stuff (although it is reminiscent of gatsby, almost), but when you start claiming you're an "(un)reliable narrator" it all gets a bit much. feels extremely condescending. let the reader be aware of more through the story. i guess i just hate being addressed as a reader - it seems a shallow and unnecessarily desperate attempt to sustain the readers attention, to me, but if you are intent on doing so, play it down a notch with regards to giving away character traits and plot details that could otherwise be revealed through story?

you have a talent for writing. i hope you continue and look forward to reading.
#4

you have a natural talent in writing, similar to the undeniable talent alex has in spotting the flaws of others. i agree with his critique wholeheartedly




love is a dog from hell.



#5
I'll tell everyone something here just now. I am not the narrator. The narrator is a separate entity who addresses me the writer. If this doesn't make much sense, what I'm saying is that this story is written stream of consciousness, writing down as I think of it and not changing it. So basically, the narrator a part of me addressing me personally, rather than a separate reader, although it can be seen by a few readers that it is their subconscious talking to them. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Hopefully that hasn't spoiled the narrative style for anyone. There will be passages which will be written as a "normal" novel, with the blinks farther apart.
#6
^ that's a real interesting idea. can't wait to read the other parts

chris is like a coconut angel covered in rainbow
#7
I'll try and get back to this. Did you steal an idea from "House of Leaves"?

EDIT: Okay, I'm back. Overall, the main factor in my enjoyment of this piece was the -BLINK- concept. It gives you alot of freedom, but also responsibility to make sure that these other bits are connected. However, nobody said that a novel had to be chronological, or neccessarily connected with itself. It all depends on your objective, and what these snippets add to your -BLINK- it sucked .

Excellent read.
Last edited by Ninjamonkey767 at Aug 5, 2008,
#8
Quote by Dæmönika
I'll tell everyone something here just now. I am not the narrator. The narrator is a separate entity who addresses me the writer. If this doesn't make much sense, what I'm saying is that this story is written stream of consciousness, writing down as I think of it and not changing it. So basically, the narrator a part of me addressing me personally, rather than a separate reader, although it can be seen by a few readers that it is their subconscious talking to them. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Hopefully that hasn't spoiled the narrative style for anyone. There will be passages which will be written as a "normal" novel, with the blinks farther apart.

Does that mean that I was wrong thinking it was a schizophrenic? lol

I enjoyedreading it.. but the changing ideas got to be a bit much sometimes. I look forward to the rest. lol
#9
Quote by Ninjamonkey767
I'll try and get back to this. Did you steal an idea from "House of Leaves"?



I don't steal. I was merely influenced. When you see little tricks and nuances which catch your eye, you are bound to let them creep into your own writing.

^ A schizophrenic may or may not be wrong. We'll see what happens later on.