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#1
post awesome and funny band jokes here! just to start you off

what did the drummer say before he got fired?
"hey guys! lets try one of my songs!"

every bands workspace should be equipped with a mini fridge stuffed with cool beverages. its more important than the bassist
#5
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
What do you call a guitarist who sucks at tellin' jokes?


- Muddyville!!!



wow douchbag. how about instead of being an asshole you tell an actual joke. could it be that you dont have a band? =P
#6
Quote by Muddyville
wow douchbag. how about instead of being an asshole you tell an actual joke. could it be that you dont have a band? =P


No... I don't have a band. And I really don't care
#7
What goes through the band members' minds during a gig:

Guitarist: God, when's it time for my solo?!
Drummer: I need some new cymbals for the next gig...
Lead Vocalist: (looking at girls in front row) I'm having some of THAT tonight.
Bassist: E-E-E-E-A-A-A-A-B-B-B-B-A-A-A-A.....

*************************

Why are drum machines better than real drummers?
With a drum machine, you only have to punch the information in once....

*************************
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

One changes it, and 99 say they could have done it better and faster

************************
A guy walks into a music store and goes to the guitar section
"Um, I'm looking for a Gabson Stratoblaster with Elmore Dunkin picks and heavy strings"
The store clerk replies
"You're a drummer, aren't you?"
#11
whats has three legs and a twat on it?

a drum stool

**********

a man is on holiday in a rain forest, and is on a guided tour with several of the locals. after a while, some drums start up and everyone starts to panick. the man asks the tour leader why everyone's panicking, to which the tour leader replies:
"very bad news, we're alright while the drums are playing though."
"why? what happens when the drums stop?"
"bass solo begin..."
Quote by uvq
yeah fire him secretly... thats what im doing except im firing myself and secretly joining someone elses band

Quote by Jekkyl
If you get a virus by looking at porn, is it considered a sexually-transmitted disease?

Quote by DiveRightIn63
thanks for the compliment man!
#12
Quote by sashki
What goes through the band members' minds during a gig:

A guy walks into a music store and goes to the guitar section
"Um, I'm looking for a Gabson Stratoblaster with Elmore Dunkin picks and heavy strings"
The store clerk replies
"You're a drummer, aren't you?"



fail you tried to steal that from someones sig

a guy walks into a music store and says "im looking fore one of those marshall hiwatt ac30 amplificator thingies with a gobson stratoblaster with a fried rose tremolo

your a drummer
#14
Whats the difference between a bass guitar and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline
NeoDom
#15
Quote by lefthandman9876
fail you tried to steal that from someones sig

a guy walks into a music store and says "im looking fore one of those marshall hiwatt ac30 amplificator thingies with a gobson stratoblaster with a fried rose tremolo

your a drummer

dude they are jokes. just cuz someone has it on their sig doesnt make it reserved
#16
Quote by neodom
Whats the difference between a bass guitar and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

thats is the funniest one i have ever heard!
#17
Quote by lefthandman9876
fail you tried to steal that from someones sig

a guy walks into a music store and says "im looking fore one of those marshall hiwatt ac30 amplificator thingies with a gobson stratoblaster with a fried rose tremolo

your a drummer

I did get it on UG. So what? Will the rolling stones sue you for having a song reference under your user name?
#19
Quote by lefthandman9876
fail you tried to steal that from someones sig

a guy walks into a music store and says "im looking fore one of those marshall hiwatt ac30 amplificator thingies with a gobson stratoblaster with a fried rose tremolo

your a drummer



yay! I've been recognized!

actually that was only the beginning of the joke and I just cut it off so it would fit in my sig. I forget exactly how the last part went though.

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
#20
What's the difference between a guitarist and a drummer?

.......................you decide
Quote by nintendocly
During practice once, my bass player was trying to act cool and headbang and I hit him in the face with sharp head of my washburn (accident maybe). Theres still a tiny bit of blood in my guitar, I think its kinda cool
#23
Quote by sashki
The McDonalds thing is funnier


wow, my sig seems to be a big hit at this thread...

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
#26
What happens if you play blues music backwards?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
#28
Quote by i'm-in-antidote
What do you call someone who hangs around with a load of musicians?


A drummer.



... i just sed that one....
#29
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?


1...and 2 guitarists to steal his glory.
#30
What do bass players and sperm have in common. Only one in a billion make something of themselves.
#31
how many mcr fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

all of them. one to unscrew the bulb, one to put the new one on, one to cut himself with the old one, and the rest to bitch at me for telling this joke because theyre not emo.
#32
i think the last one would go to guitarists rather than bassists
#33
How do you know the stage is level?

Drool runs from both sides of the drummer's mouth.
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#35
Quote by sashki

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

One changes it, and 99 say they could have done it better and faster


Sigged for great justice.

What do Gibson LP's and blondes have in common?

They whine like hell.


I epic fail at jokes.
Quote by guitar-godfrey
when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

Quote by angusfan16

Quote by Scowmoo
..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#36
Quote by Soadfan8
how many mcr fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

all of them. one to unscrew the bulb, one to put the new one on, one to cut himself with the old one, and the rest to bitch at me for telling this joke because theyre not emo.


actually the answer is none, they enjoy crying in the dark better.
#37
Quote by Muddyville
post awesome and funny band jokes here! just to start you off

what did the drummer say before he got fired?
"hey guys! lets try one of my songs!"

every bands workspace should be equipped with a mini fridge stuffed with cool beverages. its more important than the bassist

Quote by Muddyville
what did the noob say before he got a guitar to the face?
"i can play THAT on expert!"

Quote by Muddyville
why did the band skip out on the party early?
someone said something about "Free Bird"

Quote by Muddyville
why did the tour end early?
the guitarist forgot his lucky pick


Those have got to be the worst jokes I've ever heard, band-related or not.
#38
Quote by soulflyV
Those have got to be the worst jokes I've ever heard, band-related or not.


Seconded.
Every day


is exactly


the same...
#40
Quote by Muddyville
post awesome and funny band jokes here! just to start you off

what did the drummer say before he got fired?
"hey guys! lets try one of my songs!"

every bands workspace should be equipped with a mini fridge stuffed with cool beverages. its more important than the bassist


i like your guitar hero 2 quote.
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