#1
This is something I am working on. I have been having some trouble with it. I want to add two more stanzas probably but I'd just like a critique of what I've got so far. Thanks.

The eclipsed fate, highlights your fears, waxed and broken black
Nimble minds, but with shut eyes, trying their best to attack
We'll be crushed but we shall not fall
The battle will rage on
We'll be broken but we shall not stall
Our caravan will move along
As the north star shines out
And guides us to Zion

A message of hate, brings out your tears, spoken softly in the mind
Of the youth, who's freedom and future, come only to the blind
There's no refuge for the misguided
The battle must go on
There's no refuge for the enlightened
They can't survive for long
As the north star shines out
And guides us to Zion

Twenty roses, and thirty men, are crushed quickly to the ground
Knowledge and intellect, awaits the patient, but they're nowhere to be found
There's no time better then today
Today nothing could go wrong
Forget your worries through your troubles away
Just hum some simple song
As the north star shines out
And guides us to Zion