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#1
So I'm over at my friends house, which is basically home to me. He goes to work so I decide to watch some porn on his laptop being the horny bastard I am. I hit up the sites and watch and as I climax I watch my semen seep between the "K M I and J" keys. Now I can't hit those buttons. I told him he has a virus on his computer and theres software running so he can't use it right now. I'm spending the night here.

I have his laptop next to me (I'm on the house computer), What should I do to be able to use these keys again?
I actually do have schizophrenia, so stop making fun of people who have it.

GEAR:
Boss ME-50
Silvertone Paul Stanley Apocalypse (modded)
Squier Affinity Strat (modded)
Italia Modulo 2
Fender Front 15G
#3
strange, everyone here calls it spooge, not splooge
anyways, just tell your friend you spilt hair conditioner on the keyboard
Living is easy with eyes closed...
--------------------------

Quote by GnR_ROK
I'm surprised you returned to this thread after cheeseman owned you.
#5
Take the keys off and clean it.

Done.
Quote by Ez0ph
That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
Quote by Firenze


Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



www.myspace.com/tarsusmusic
#6
Lick It.


It is the only way.

.....\,========================]
...../ ..---.........................-----.............|]
..../_==o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-------.:/
....), ...(_(_) ..../
...// (..) ), ------"
..//......//
.//......//
//......//
#11
that is the nastiest thing i've ever heard
Quote by drunkinkoala
you can be jesus.


Quote by Wesseem
most useless response i think i have ever seen on any forum ever.


Quote by Turkeyburger





Lolflag
#13
Tell him you have to have a word with him. Start shaking your head and tell him if he doesn't stop he'll go blind. Just act like you didn't do it. If that doesn't work then lick the semen off. Don't worry it tastes sweet my health teacher told me.
H e l l o .
#14
Quote by TooFast
Take the keys off and clean it.

Done.



pretty much.

its really not that hard.

i accidentally spilled some juice on mine once, and some keys were sticking, so i took them off and cleaned underneath. problem solved.
#18
tell him it was mayo from your sandwich

or glue


from your ass?
I think we took too many drugs when we were kids,
'cause now we like to make
Weird Music
-Wayne Coyne
#20
wtf is it with ug, and leaving globs of **** in other peoples keyboards [sisters, friends, parents]

some people just need to be computer cockblocked
#21
*shakes head in disapproval*

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
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Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
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But our Band is Listana
#23
Quote by Keyphur
Goddammit, YOU ALWAYS USE A CATCHER!!

+1
I don't believe in signatures. Ah, sh...
#24
dude...you don't do that at a friends house...no matter how close you are . If he sees you, chances are you're gonna get alot less close.
#26
well... i spilt coke on mine, i pulled off the key and wiped down with some wet napkins, it took 30 minutes to dry, then it worked again. and i spilt some coke on the hard drive, 3 days to dry then it worked. ... point - just wait till it dries and it'll work, but for your friend, just wash the keys.

btw. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Shred Head
All that theory my guitar teacher tries to drill into my head just gets buried under piles of porn and I never manage to apply any of it
#27
isnt it obvious. just hire a prostitute to get the job done

edit one time my sister once grabbed for my dads beer and he quickly went for it and knocked it onto her labtop and now the bottom lefthand side is all blotchy. its the computer im on right now
#28
cover that mess with spaghettios. then deliver the news to your friend like a surgeon would tell the family of a patient who didn't make it through surgey. Shake you head, look him in the eye with sad eyes and say, "I'm sorry, but I spilled spaghettios all over your keyboard." then walk away.

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
#30
Quote by sloppyjoe24
cover that mess with spaghettios. then deliver the news to your friend like a surgeon would tell the family of a patient who didn't make it through surgey. Shake you head, look him in the eye with sad eyes and say, "I'm sorry, but I spilled spaghettios all over your keyboard." then walk away.


And waste some perfectly good Spaghetti-O's? What are you crazy?
#31
Quote by InvaderTSN
And waste some perfectly good Spaghetti-O's? What are you crazy?

Sometimes sacrifices must be made.
#32
I lol'd, then I lol'd harder when I realized I was listening to "Keep It Greasy" by Frank Zappa. Um...take off the keys and clean them?
#33
Quote by cheeseman3001
strange, everyone here calls it spooge, not splooge
anyways, just tell your friend you spilt hair conditioner on the keyboard


Good luck explaining that one
Quote by innertom
So much down syndrome

remember UG Community? thought so.
#34
Tell him the truth. He might find it funny.
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#36
Quote by racman92
or kill you... blame it on his dog

I doubt his friend would believe that his dog jizzed all over his keyboard.
#38
Quote by JeanMi36
Tell him the truth. He might find it funny.



TS: Guess what? I splooged all over your keyboard
Friend:

no, no he won't

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
#39
Quote by nalyd
I doubt his friend would believe that his dog jizzed all over his keyboard.

my cat jizzed all over my face once
Quote by innertom
So much down syndrome

remember UG Community? thought so.
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