#1
mainly writen by the 2nd/ rhythm guitarist of my band (because he pwns at songwriting)
I was playing random stuff and he adding it
(i wrote the last 5 bars of the solo and all of the outro, so that will explainwhy they suck as I know no theory whatsoever)
Any advice/criticism is welcome
#2
quite basic but i liked the progression on the chorus, nice arps.. some notes on the solo were a bit off key but not too bad at all for a first attempt!
#3
Pretty good for a first song, simple and catchy.

A few things though:

All three instruments could use a little more spicing up.

The bass during verse 1 needs something more to it. You could make it as simply as walking it to the next note, or add a couple 16th notes in there or something. Or, even better, there's a part where the drums go bass snare snare bass in the middle of the bar, you could have the bass follow that.

The sweep part on the chorus is another example. It just keeps going down and then back up each arpeggio 3 times. So D,U,D,U,D,U then chord change. You could always try varying that a little like D,U,D,U,D,D or something like that. If you want to get fancy you can have the rhythm part throw in some sus2 and sus4 chords just before a chord change, and have the sweeping part follow it.

You also much want to be careful with open chords for the rhythm, it could sound bad live if you're using any more than a little gain. Barre chords much be a better idea just so you have more control.

I don't care for the solo at all. It's not just the part you wrote either, but the entire thing. There are a lot of really off key notes in there, and for some reason those were the ones that were always emphasized. You can use notes that are off key and generally it's no big deal, but you always, ALWAYS want to land on a good note.

The outro isn't bad. that bent G sounds a little weird, but it works. However the bent 17... Bad. Bad bad bad bad bad. Don't need theory to know that sounds off. You might want to try to bend to an E or maybe a B.

For all my criticism I still think it's damn good for a first song.
#4
Quote by icronic
Pretty good for a first song, simple and catchy.

A few things though:

All three instruments could use a little more spicing up.

The bass during verse 1 needs something more to it. You could make it as simply as walking it to the next note, or add a couple 16th notes in there or something. Or, even better, there's a part where the drums go bass snare snare bass in the middle of the bar, you could have the bass follow that.

The sweep part on the chorus is another example. It just keeps going down and then back up each arpeggio 3 times. So D,U,D,U,D,U then chord change. You could always try varying that a little like D,U,D,U,D,D or something like that. If you want to get fancy you can have the rhythm part throw in some sus2 and sus4 chords just before a chord change, and have the sweeping part follow it.

You also much want to be careful with open chords for the rhythm, it could sound bad live if you're using any more than a little gain. Barre chords much be a better idea just so you have more control.

I don't care for the solo at all. It's not just the part you wrote either, but the entire thing. There are a lot of really off key notes in there, and for some reason those were the ones that were always emphasized. You can use notes that are off key and generally it's no big deal, but you always, ALWAYS want to land on a good note.

The outro isn't bad. that bent G sounds a little weird, but it works. However the bent 17... Bad. Bad bad bad bad bad. Don't need theory to know that sounds off. You might want to try to bend to an E or maybe a B.

For all my criticism I still think it's damn good for a first song.


Thanks for the advice, I'm not clued up on keys at all so i'm not sure how to fix the off key notes in any way, hell I'm not even sure what key the song is in
i might have messed up parts of the solo when i tried to shift it lower a bit and forgot exactly where it went before
About the outro, I can't se a bent 17, i just see 5 15's??
#5
Quote by richymisiak
Thanks for the advice, I'm not clued up on keys at all so i'm not sure how to fix the off key notes in any way, hell I'm not even sure what key the song is in
i might have messed up parts of the solo when i tried to shift it lower a bit and forgot exactly where it went before
About the outro, I can't se a bent 17, i just see 5 15's??


You're right, there is no bent 17, I've no idea why it showed up the first time I played it. Maybe I changed it by accident or something

As for theory, well you should definitely try to learn enough to be able the figure out what key you're in as that's definitely very important. But to be honest with you, when I'm writing my stuff I generally don't think about the theory aspect of unless I get stuck and can't figure out where to go next.

If I'm writing a solo, or a guitar melody, often I won't think of scales or boxes or even the notes I'm playing, I just fool around and listen to what I'm playing and modify it until it sounds right. 9 times out of 10 all the notes that I end up having chosen will end up in the proper key and generally land on a note that comes from the chord the rhythm guitar is playing. Sometimes I end up with some pretty strange stuff that is almost mind boggling if you were to try to come up with an explanation as to why it works.

The point I'm getting to is, as important as theory is, your ears and your ability to hear what sounds right, and what doesn't is really more important. There are only 12 notes to choose from. If you hear a note that doesn't sound quite right, try the other 11.
#6
I know this might be a stretch to ask ,but i don't supose you could point one of two of the off key notes? (a simple circle on paint will do) Because to me most of the solo sounds right, just one or two bits of my part sounds a bit off :s
#7
Quote by richymisiak
I know this might be a stretch to ask ,but i don't supose you could point one of two of the off key notes? (a simple circle on paint will do) Because to me most of the solo sounds right, just one or two bits of my part sounds a bit off :s


The quick and dirty.

The bend on bar 52 is a little dissonant. It's not out of key, but it doesn't go very well with the chord the rhythm guitar is playing either. If you're going to hold a bend that long it sounds way better on a chord tone.

Bar 55, that little half step bend goes out of key, although it doesn't sound all that bad, so you could just leave that one

Bar 56, that note on the 23rd that gets played 8 times should be on the 22nd fret.

The two 3/4 bends on bars 58/59 should be 1/2 instead.

Bar 62 there are two 17s on the high E that are vibrato'd. Not out of key, but it's not the greatest note to stop on either. Personally I would change the first one to something different and leave the second as is.

Other than that, there are a few other ones, but most of them are just done in passing so they make it sound kind of cool and unique instead of standing out as bad.

But yeah, some of that is subjective to what I like, so it can be argued as a matter of opinion
#9
my first thought was that drums and bass were too loud. turn those down a bit.

riff is pretty cool although GP doesn't correctly produce the harmonics for the 3rd and 2nd frets here.

chorus is nice and catchy. I wouldn't pan the guitars far left and right because I could hardly hear the lead.

guitar solo sounds pretty cool. some notes are out of key but it's not that bad.

outro is weird. but it's nice I guess.

cool song. great for a first try. I'd work up the solo a bit, and vary the rhythm in the verses and maybe add a little guitarwork here and there. drums sound pretty good. mixing is off a little in some places but I shouldn't talk because I always have that problem.

could you crit my song? It's somewhere on the first page.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#10
the most noticable thing that i heard was the transition between the pickscrapes and the following section. it sounded awkward, but that might just be guitar pro. i thought the solo was fine, nothing wrong with the ending of it really. (im like you with theory, not much going on there). your outro wasn't bad, but it didn't really sound awesome either. maybe try developing the outro alittle more.