#1
I share my everything with you
Through the last years
We’ve traveled up and down
We both knew it wouldn’t be easy
What a fool would say it’d be easy

Chorus:
It’s a beautiful feeling
And I cannot lie
From the moment we fell in love
We could never fall apart

Everyday i love you more and more
My feelings are growing like the blossoms reaching for the sun
I really never felt like this, my mind is coming clean
All I ever wanted to say, was trapped inside of me

Chorus


Feel free to comment, give criticism or whatever This is one of the songs I wrote, and I am trying to make it better for my girlfriends birthday, so if you see anything I could fix/do better/cut out, feel free to say ^^
#2
it's preety good ...... i would just say maybe use a little bit more ryhme in the song .... the words don't have to ryhme just how the flow together i think will really improve this song
#3
- "I share my everything with you
Through the last years
We’ve traveled up and down" - this flows like a tape-recorder being greased by gravel. I don't know what line links with what and what should go where. Punctuation should correct that, but its not advisable to rely upon grammar to explain your layout and preferred method.
Not an effective and clear start.

- "We could never fall apart" - This line is ripe with clichés, while the rest of your chorus is quite nice.

- "Everyday i love you more and more" - There is a song called Everyday I Love you Less and Less by a band called Kaiser Chiefs - they're very popular in Britain and Ireland - this song is a direct contradiction of it, therefore, I do not like. Thats a personal thing though so I wouldn't worry too much. Oh, and the line kinda sucks in general.

Your last stanza is in battle with your opening line, "I share my everything with you" - You say you share everything with her, but now your saying what you wanted to say, "was trapped inside of me"... notice the mistake.
This tells me your are not really writing from your heart, you are writing what splashes into your head; not something I would recommend unless what you have contained within your head is clear cut, emotional, and precise - thats not a definitive rule, of course.

- "My feelings are growing like the blossoms reaching for the sun" - This is not the most interesting and sensible of similes, I don't see the relation. It arrives out of nowhere as well, its just suddenly slapped in there as if you forgot to add a literay device and thought it safe it add one in wherever you could possibly squeeze it.

Keep it up mate, don't give up because of what I have said. It needs work, granted, but a love songs needs to be free; free it.

Digitally Clean