#1
I finally made a half-decent chorus to go with this song, it kind of reminds me of megadeth. :P


Recently we've become attention sluts
And so deep in debt, stuck in our ruts
As thought dissolves to fetal dust
We sit in our E-Z chairs until we rust

All our lives are cesspools of smut
Consuming our weight from doors that never shut
A man only worries about his next score
In a motel room on a dirty bed with a filthy w**re

When we die where do we go
Eternal bliss or to reap what we sow
Do we stay underground to lay and rot
Or do we press the button that says restart?

Love today is only a generalized term
Mixed with lust, and it makes me squirm
Women using sex to achieve their desires
Keeps making that money and never tires.

The Decline of Western Civilization
The signs of a crumbling nation
Driven by power and greed, lust and deciet
It's the Decline of Western Civilization
#2
Lyrically, sounds great to me... It reminds me of Pennywise's Western Wall a bit though. Well actually a lot to be honest, so I wouldn't mind hearing the rhythm that goes with it.
#3
Quote by takana456
I finally made a half-decent chorus to go with this song, it kind of reminds me of megadeth. :P


Recently we've become attention sluts
And so deep in debt, stuck in our ruts
As thought dissolves to fetal dust
We sit in our E-Z chairs until we rust From a logical point of view, it seems odd to say that we've become attention sluts but at the same time sit in EZ chairs til we rust. It sounds like you're attacking Paris Hilton and suburban fatty, but lyrically you're combining them. In the course of a real song I doubt anyone notices and the whole verse sounds good

All our lives are cesspools of smut
Consuming our weight from doors that never shut
A man only worries about his next score
In a motel room on a dirty bed with a filthy w**re This line seems too wordy unless you already have a melody that works. Maybe 'In a dirty motel with a filthy w**re' fits?

When we die where do we go
Eternal bliss or to reap what we sow
Do we stay underground to lay and rot
Or do we press the button that says restart? I love this verse and the idea of it, although I'm not sold on the last line, just doesn't flow as well as the first 3. Maybe like, 'Or begin again with a brand new start'. I like your line, but for some reason just doesn't seem to fit the tone of the other 3.

Love today is only a generalized term Can you change generalized? The syllables just seem too soft, and it doesn't create a negative enough tone.
Mixed with lust, and it makes me squirm
Women using sex to achieve their desires
Keeps making that money and never tires. The content of this line is good but I'd like to see something stronger. Maybe related to what women are desiring, ie 'Women using sex to achieve their desires/Status, fame, fortune and a trendy style' or for more flow I really like 'Women using sex to achieve their desires/A trophy wife with a trendy style'

The Decline of Western Civilization
The signs of a crumbling nation
Driven by power and greed, lust and deciet
It's the Decline of Western Civilization chorus is decent


Your organization is top-notch. Each stanza, especially the death one, stays completely on topic and there is little filler in this song, every line is an opinion. I love that and I think its very good overall. My only issues are with certain word choices and phrasings that could add more impact. Great effort.