#1
This is a song/poem I wrote today, took maybe 2 hours. Do not crit on things seeming like they're too short/ too long. I've double checked that, matches up perfectly with the rhythm and the way I sing it Everyother kind of criticism I openly accept, because I feel I may need it. Well, anyways. Enjoy.


Sometimes God Just Doesn't Like You...

My day's wasted away,
I rather you not stay.
At this moment, right here right now,
I'm searching through the empty crowds.

A vow to find the one who hears
The silent screams with every tear.
No... words cannot explain...
I am numb, but still remain

The one with their legs hung over the ledge
The one gently nudged across the egde

The one who's song is song
The one with a loaded gun
The one you can't ignore
The one you called a *****

The one whos sealed their fate
The one that stays up late
The who can't seem to sleep
Because they slaughtered the sheep...

Going round and round
We're lost but never found
I find the courage to say
That I had a nice day
Just a little white lie
To avoid that look in your eyes
I can't open up
Because I'm boarded shut
I'll let you gaze inside,
But I'll never confide
I pray you'll never let go,
But God answers slow...

I am wasted away,
You rather I not stay.
I'm the only one who knows
The depths of the darkest lows.

You can throw me aside,
Or let me fall in line.
You can discard my soul,
Or let me rot as a whole.
You can let me go,
I'll sink before I float
The sight of me makes me sick
So please, just do this quick.

Going round and round
We're lost but never found
I find the courage to say
That I had a nice day
Just a little white lie
To avoid that look in your eyes
I can't open up
Because I'm boarded shut
I'll let you gaze inside,
But I'll never confide
I pray you'll never let go,
But God answers slow...

I don't want to be like you,
Not a chance from the day you left the womb.
Take a breath and choke on the air
Take a breath and climb the final stairs
All I can say is goodbye,
Because you were always too good for my lies...

Thanks for your time, C4C.
#3
This song seems pretty cool to me. I'm curious to what kind of style of music you plan on putting it to though. when I first read it, It sounded somewhat similar to a protest the hero song as far as format, but I guess could be used lot of ways. very cool theme and some good writing, keep it up.
#4
This is the first acoustic song I've written. To be honest, I have no idea who Protest the Hero is haha.... :P
#5
Quote by Niki (guitar)
This is the first acoustic song I've written. To be honest, I have no idea who Protest the Hero is haha.... :P


don't know who they are...is that possible?! (joke) No really it just seemed like it would go to a metal/prog type song well(probably because thats what I listen too) but it will sound great on accoustic I'm sure.
#6
Quite good! Good flow and an intriguing title
Lyrics: Time wasted between solos.

After a mindboggling 3-hour Steve Vai concert, I had to listen to some brainless guitar playing... so I put on Nevermind...

Jesus Rocks!
#9
i loved this song i really thought it was great other than the chorus which started a bit slow it was really good.