#1
the title is just temporary, not really sure what it should be yet. this is a song i wrote recently, and i wrote these lyrics in about 30 minutes, so any constructive criticism would be awesome.

Verse 1:

I still want freedom, I don't know how to use it
I need inspiration
Inside a folder there's a note to no one
Maybe I should read it
I see the lights under the car, they're fading
What have I got into?
I'm not a part of this I'm just an observer
But I saw more than they did

Bridge:

I feel the light
I feel the flight

Chorus:

Cos' it's cold in here, and I don't wanna see it
Cos' it's cold in here, and I don't wanna see it

-prelude/solo-

Verse 2:

I still want freedom I don't know how to use it
I need inspiration
When the ship comes will you put me on it
Sail me out to sea now
I'd really love to stay and I'm so sorry
I just can't take it any longer
This was my home but now I'm making my choices
I won't end up like they did

Bridge

Chorus twice

Outro
"Too weird to live, too rare to die" -HST
#2
It's weird,,,i personally like the lyrics,i just don't know how they could flow..btw finally a user more noobish then me YES!!
a little lost.....
#3
different, but i think i like it. I'm curious as to how the music is behind it, because you probably do have a sense of flow to it, but it just sounds weird to read them. Good poem, i would say, but im interested in how the song works with this.


Saying the Red Hot Chili Peppers have no talent is like saying Guy Fawkes didn't have an epic mustache.
#4
thanks ya i think the song itself is a lot better than the lyrics, maybe i'll record it one day when i get a decent mic :P
"Too weird to live, too rare to die" -HST