#1
Any feedback on my lyrics or structure will be appreciated. I don't really like the ending to this?? Thank you!

Ghosts

I had a dream
You were alive
We couldn’t let you out - wanted you to survive
We wanted you to survive

The ghosts they came out in the light of day
Only rattlesnake venom would take it away
The bruises you gave me - one can only relate
I don’t want to stop only for heaven’s sake

Trace won’t stop looking for you on the couch
We all want a piece - even baby’s are proud

The ghosts they were there in the light of day
Only rattlesnake venom would take it away

Jake and Ella discuss it
Quite matter of factly
They know you’re in heaven
They just don’t know exactly
Cheyenne heard a pop
Thought the tree she was climbing
Then she waited and listened
The scream was imbibing

(Solo Guitar) beautiful screams – not scary screams – which instrument would be good?

The bruises you gave me - one can only relate
Even healthy and healing for all heaven sake

The crowd it was pleasing
You put to rest
Can’t imagine life forward
Oh you were the best
With help in transcending
I thank god for that
I will laugh again deeply
After time and some jack

The ghosts they came out in the light of day
Only rattlesnake venom would take it away

I know that you know spot on what I mean
Your life is my life - back again - totally keen.
#2
i think this one is a bit confusing the topic seems to change a fair bit and makes it very hard to follow and there are a few cliches. Another thing some guy is going to report you for posting two in one day so you know. They'll close this thread down and no one will be able to post.