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#1
I was just reading the 300 Squirells V Grizzly Bear post and I thought we need more such battles.

So come up with your competitors, and say who would win and why.


eg:

Optimus Prime V. a Coffee Mug.

Winner: Coffee Mug. Coz Prime thinks it's full of nice hot coffee but then he drinks it and OHMY****INGGOD ITS ANTI-TRANSFORMER ACID!!!

Actually, this thread is kinda stupid... This is now an experiment to see how fast it will disappear off the page.
Dear diary.

Today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender.

I'm wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me.
#2
Rick Astley Vs Someone who he has to give up
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#3
Quote by Just Andrew
Rick Astley Vs Someone who he has to give up


Clearly, the guy who has to give up would simply give up, thus making Astley the winner.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#4
Good verses Evil!

:O
█████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████
█████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████
█████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████

You're just another brick in the wall
#5
Quote by Benjibum
I was just reading the 300 Squirells V Grizzly Bear post and I thought we need more such battles.


There's where it all went wrong, my friend.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
#6
Quote by Gunpowder
Clearly, the guy who has to give up would simply give up, thus making Astley the winner.
I'd still pay $24.98 to see it.
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#7
Anti-transformer acid? You started a thread and that's the most creative battle you can come up with?!
#8
Goku looked up. He wiped the blood out of his eye from the cut on his forehead. He looked over at his opponent - it was the most fearful thing he had ever seen. Vegeta had found Leonidas and fused with him. This was going to be the hardest battle Goku had ever fought.
Suddenly, out of the clouds above, a giant truck landed in the middle of the battle field. Out of the dust, emerged Optimus Prime. He ran towards Goku, holding Chuck Norris in his hand. Chuck jumped down, and fused with Goku, and as Vegidas watched, his eyes widened with horror.
Then, over the hill, there came an army. An army of mudkips. Optimus Prime said "we're going to need some mother****ing backup."
Out of nowhere, pop-eye jumped from the ground. "Ba da ba di bi dee!" said pop-eye.
"You're right" said Gock Norris, and he whistled.
A big shadow flew overhead, and a gigantic dragon landed. "Rawr, bitches called for back-up?"
Then, the eath shook. Behind Vegidas was a 5 million strong army of Persians, lead by Kerry King and Megadeth.
"You ****ing sold out!" said Gock Norris.
"Suck my dick" Said Vegidas.
"NO U!!" said Gock Norris.
"We need some more backup" said Optimus.
"Ba di ba dee" said Pop-eye.
Out of the ground, 5 holes appeared, and out jumped Dream Theater, Metallica, Anthrax and Dragonforce.
There was a myriad of shadows overhead. They were planes, dropping troops! And the troops were... terminators and ninjas! They joined Optimus and Gock norris!
And from the ocean, came pirates, who sided with Vegidas!
As the terminators landed, the two sides squared up.
"I don't know who is going to win" said Optimus. "But you just lost the game."
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#10
Jesus vs. the joker
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Of course I don't wanna go in the woods. There's bears in there.


Quote by Deliriumbassist
Jeff Ament is a sexy sexy beast.



Quote by Karvid
Yes. Chest hair = automatic awesome. Even if you're a woman.
#11
Quote by dann_blood
Goku looked up. He wiped the blood out of his eye from the cut on his forehead. He looked over at his opponent - it was the most fearful thing he had ever seen. Vegeta had found Leonidas and fused with him. This was going to be the hardest battle Goku had ever fought.
Suddenly, out of the clouds above, a giant truck landed in the middle of the battle field. Out of the dust, emerged Optimus Prime. He ran towards Goku, holding Chuck Norris in his hand. Chuck jumped down, and fused with Goku, and as Vegidas watched, his eyes widened with horror.
Then, over the hill, there came an army. An army of mudkips. Optimus Prime said "we're going to need some mother****ing backup."
Out of nowhere, pop-eye jumped from the ground. "Ba da ba di bi dee!" said pop-eye.
"You're right" said Gock Norris, and he whistled.
A big shadow flew overhead, and a gigantic dragon landed. "Rawr, bitches called for back-up?"
Then, the eath shook. Behind Vegidas was a 5 million strong army of Persians, lead by Kerry King and Megadeth.
"You ****ing sold out!" said Gock Norris.
"Suck my dick" Said Vegidas.
"NO U!!" said Gock Norris.
"We need some more backup" said Optimus.
"Ba di ba dee" said Pop-eye.
Out of the ground, 5 holes appeared, and out jumped Dream Theater, Metallica, Anthrax and Dragonforce.
There was a myriad of shadows overhead. They were planes, dropping troops! And the troops were... terminators and ninjas! They joined Optimus and Gock norris!
And from the ocean, came pirates, who sided with Vegidas!
As the terminators landed, the two sides squared up.
"I don't know who is going to win" said Optimus. "But you just lost the game."


wat ಠ_ಠ
#15
Quote by dann_blood
Goku looked up. He wiped the blood out of his eye from the cut on his forehead. He looked over at his opponent - it was the most fearful thing he had ever seen. Vegeta had found Leonidas and fused with him. This was going to be the hardest battle Goku had ever fought.
Suddenly, out of the clouds above, a giant truck landed in the middle of the battle field. Out of the dust, emerged Optimus Prime. He ran towards Goku, holding Chuck Norris in his hand. Chuck jumped down, and fused with Goku, and as Vegidas watched, his eyes widened with horror.
Then, over the hill, there came an army. An army of mudkips. Optimus Prime said "we're going to need some mother****ing backup."
Out of nowhere, pop-eye jumped from the ground. "Ba da ba di bi dee!" said pop-eye.
"You're right" said Gock Norris, and he whistled.
A big shadow flew overhead, and a gigantic dragon landed. "Rawr, bitches called for back-up?"
Then, the eath shook. Behind Vegidas was a 5 million strong army of Persians, lead by Kerry King and Megadeth.
"You ****ing sold out!" said Gock Norris.
"Suck my dick" Said Vegidas.
"NO U!!" said Gock Norris.
"We need some more backup" said Optimus.
"Ba di ba dee" said Pop-eye.
Out of the ground, 5 holes appeared, and out jumped Dream Theater, Metallica, Anthrax and Dragonforce.
There was a myriad of shadows overhead. They were planes, dropping troops! And the troops were... terminators and ninjas! They joined Optimus and Gock norris!
And from the ocean, came pirates, who sided with Vegidas!
As the terminators landed, the two sides squared up.
"I don't know who is going to win" said Optimus. "But you just lost the game."


I would have sig'd if it wasnt too long
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Of course I don't wanna go in the woods. There's bears in there.


Quote by Deliriumbassist
Jeff Ament is a sexy sexy beast.



Quote by Karvid
Yes. Chest hair = automatic awesome. Even if you're a woman.
#17
Quote by patrickrh
There's where it all went wrong, my friend.



Indeed. I condemn my own thread to the fiery pits of hell.

Oh wait, we are already here...
Dear diary.

Today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender.

I'm wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me.
#21
chuck norris vs. bruce lee
Quote by steee21
That's intense. Almost as intense as that time i forgot how to sit down.


Quote by Zolom
Oreos are food...not weapons. MAKE EATS NOT WAR!
#22
Quote by Into_The_Wild
Heath Ledger versus Bernie Mac

Oh wait

Too soon, asswipe.

Heath Ledger was a great actor, and I don't like it when people like you tarnish his legacy.
#23
the jonas brothers versus cannibal corpse.

make up your own ending.
Quote by Gunpowder
The Pit is to intelligence what a black hole is to light; it's devoid of reason and logic, and nothing can escape it's shadowy depths. Once you enter, you cannot leave.
#25
Quote by dann_blood
Goku looked up. He wiped the blood out of his eye from the cut on his forehead. He looked over at his opponent - it was the most fearful thing he had ever seen. Vegeta had found Leonidas and fused with him. This was going to be the hardest battle Goku had ever fought.
Suddenly, out of the clouds above, a giant truck landed in the middle of the battle field. Out of the dust, emerged Optimus Prime. He ran towards Goku, holding Chuck Norris in his hand. Chuck jumped down, and fused with Goku, and as Vegidas watched, his eyes widened with horror.
Then, over the hill, there came an army. An army of mudkips. Optimus Prime said "we're going to need some mother****ing backup."
Out of nowhere, pop-eye jumped from the ground. "Ba da ba di bi dee!" said pop-eye.
"You're right" said Gock Norris, and he whistled.
A big shadow flew overhead, and a gigantic dragon landed. "Rawr, bitches called for back-up?"
Then, the eath shook. Behind Vegidas was a 5 million strong army of Persians, lead by Kerry King and Megadeth.
"You ****ing sold out!" said Gock Norris.
"Suck my dick" Said Vegidas.
"NO U!!" said Gock Norris.
"We need some more backup" said Optimus.
"Ba di ba dee" said Pop-eye.
Out of the ground, 5 holes appeared, and out jumped Dream Theater, Metallica, Anthrax and Dragonforce.
There was a myriad of shadows overhead. They were planes, dropping troops! And the troops were... terminators and ninjas! They joined Optimus and Gock norris!
And from the ocean, came pirates, who sided with Vegidas!
As the terminators landed, the two sides squared up.
"I don't know who is going to win" said Optimus. "But you just lost the game."


you said 5 holes appear but you only mentioned 4 bands, and Dragonforce? really?! I think we can do a bit better than that.
Gear:
Jackson Dinky DK2L
Epiphone LP Standard
Yamaha Acoustic
Bugera 1990 w/ Peavey 2x12 cab
#26
Quote by Into_The_Wild
Heath Ledger versus Bernie Mac

Oh wait


You are a terrible person.

but I lol'ed hysterically
Get a Carvin. Do it.
#28
Quote by dann_blood
Goku looked up. He wiped the blood out of his eye from the cut on his forehead. He looked over at his opponent - it was the most fearful thing he had ever seen. Vegeta had found Leonidas and fused with him. This was going to be the hardest battle Goku had ever fought.
Suddenly, out of the clouds above, a giant truck landed in the middle of the battle field. Out of the dust, emerged Optimus Prime. He ran towards Goku, holding Chuck Norris in his hand. Chuck jumped down, and fused with Goku, and as Vegidas watched, his eyes widened with horror.
Then, over the hill, there came an army. An army of mudkips. Optimus Prime said "we're going to need some mother****ing backup."
Out of nowhere, pop-eye jumped from the ground. "Ba da ba di bi dee!" said pop-eye.
"You're right" said Gock Norris, and he whistled.
A big shadow flew overhead, and a gigantic dragon landed. "Rawr, bitches called for back-up?"
Then, the eath shook. Behind Vegidas was a 5 million strong army of Persians, lead by Kerry King and Megadeth.
"You ****ing sold out!" said Gock Norris.
"Suck my dick" Said Vegidas.
"NO U!!" said Gock Norris.
"We need some more backup" said Optimus.
"Ba di ba dee" said Pop-eye.
Out of the ground, 5 holes appeared, and out jumped Dream Theater, Metallica, Anthrax and Dragonforce.
There was a myriad of shadows overhead. They were planes, dropping troops! And the troops were... terminators and ninjas! They joined Optimus and Gock norris!
And from the ocean, came pirates, who sided with Vegidas!
As the terminators landed, the two sides squared up.
"I don't know who is going to win" said Optimus. "But you just lost the game."



Damn you and your Trickery. I had all but forgotten about the game.
Sig What?
#29
Quote by DZCunuck
you said 5 holes appear but you only mentioned 4 bands, and Dragonforce? really?! I think we can do a bit better than that.


There are 6 members in dragonforce, 5 in DT, 5 in Anthrax and 4 in Metallica. 20 members, divide by 5 = 4 getting out of each hole.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#30
Quote by bananaboy
Too soon, asswipe.

Heath Ledger was a great actor, and I don't like it when people like you tarnish his legacy.
ZOMG! He made a joke about a dead actor!

No really, calm down.

EDIT: Why so serious?
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#31
Quote by dann_blood
There are 6 members in dragonforce, 5 in DT, 5 in Anthrax and 4 in Metallica. 20 members, divide by 5 = 4 getting out of each hole.



so you divided by 0 too? nice.


epic battle? Gibson vs Fender
#32
Quote by bananaboy
Too soon, asswipe.

Heath Ledger was a great actor, and I don't like it when people like you tarnish his legacy.


No defense for Bernie Mac?
#33
chuck norris vs. chuck norris. the universe would end!
god loves the working man. unfortunately, that puts me in deep crap.

you sir, may c*m blood, but i sh*t diamonds, guess which is more painful. especially after curry.

+ =
#34
Quote by salsawords
STOP WITH THAT STUPID VIDEO!!!!! I hate it!



no one's forcing you to watch it
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#35
Quote by dann_blood
Goku looked up. He wiped the blood out of his eye from the cut on his forehead. He looked over at his opponent - it was the most fearful thing he had ever seen. Vegeta had found Leonidas and fused with him. This was going to be the hardest battle Goku had ever fought.
Suddenly, out of the clouds above, a giant truck landed in the middle of the battle field. Out of the dust, emerged Optimus Prime. He ran towards Goku, holding Chuck Norris in his hand. Chuck jumped down, and fused with Goku, and as Vegidas watched, his eyes widened with horror.
Then, over the hill, there came an army. An army of mudkips. Optimus Prime said "we're going to need some mother****ing backup."
Out of nowhere, pop-eye jumped from the ground. "Ba da ba di bi dee!" said pop-eye.
"You're right" said Gock Norris, and he whistled.
A big shadow flew overhead, and a gigantic dragon landed. "Rawr, bitches called for back-up?"
Then, the eath shook. Behind Vegidas was a 5 million strong army of Persians, lead by Kerry King and Megadeth.
"You ****ing sold out!" said Gock Norris.
"Suck my dick" Said Vegidas.
"NO U!!" said Gock Norris.
"We need some more backup" said Optimus.
"Ba di ba dee" said Pop-eye.
Out of the ground, 5 holes appeared, and out jumped Dream Theater, Metallica, Anthrax and Dragonforce.
There was a myriad of shadows overhead. They were planes, dropping troops! And the troops were... terminators and ninjas! They joined Optimus and Gock norris!
And from the ocean, came pirates, who sided with Vegidas!
As the terminators landed, the two sides squared up.
"I don't know who is going to win" said Optimus. "But you just lost the game."

I thought it was going to be epic, but I just lost.
#36
Quote by dann_blood
There are 6 members in dragonforce, 5 in DT, 5 in Anthrax and 4 in Metallica. 20 members, divide by 5 = 4 getting out of each hole.

Quote by Superstrat101
so you divided by 0 too? nice.


Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#37
Quote by Into_The_Wild
Heath Ledger versus Bernie Mac

Oh wait


I hate you
By reading this magnificently and wonderful, adjective-filled signature, you have just wasted approximately 7 seconds of your life.
#38
Quote by bananaboy
Too soon, asswipe.

Heath Ledger was a great actor, and I don't like it when people like you tarnish his legacy.

stfu man it was a joke. legacy? although he fucckin rocked as the joker, but thats it
Quote by Godsmack_IV
Emus. Seriously, no bird should be that big.

Quote by CFH82
Long story short, I had a dream I fu**ed a horse.


Rise up
We are revolutionaries
Viva la revolución
#39
Quote by Shredder Guitar
the jonas brothers versus cannibal corpse.

make up your own ending.

idk but it would end up as a brutal song
Quote by Godsmack_IV
Emus. Seriously, no bird should be that big.

Quote by CFH82
Long story short, I had a dream I fu**ed a horse.


Rise up
We are revolutionaries
Viva la revolución
#40
Quote by Just Andrew
Rick Astley Vs Someone who he has to give up

this
Anyone who thinks that music these days is dead doesn't listen to enough music.
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