Page 1 of 5
#3
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
vince
God:
OK I will call you vince.
Me:
thats cool with me most people do
God:
Who is the best robot? You and your you most people do.
Me:
R2D2
God:
He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Me:
thats because he is
God:
That makes sense to me. Who said he is.
Me:
I did
God:
Why did you?
Me:
You asked
God:
Ah.
Me:
So why'd you make my dick so huge?
God:
Excuse me! It was determined by my programming.
Support new music, listen to my Prog Metal Band:
Open Wide, The Sky

Schecter C-1 Hellraiser FR White

Peavey 6505+ /w Mesa-Boogie Rectifier 2x12 Cab
#5
Me:
Penis!
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
W/e
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
boy howdy
God:
Oh boy. Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
hugeweiner mcgee
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, hugeweiner mcgee.
Quote by guitardude34875
be the music, not the scene
#6
Me:
Sup bub
God:
The stars.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The part where you were being a big retard
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
Yes that part
God:
Wow! " Oh that part." part ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Yea
God:
Oh.
Me:
Dick
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Why do u have a master anyway,aren't u god?
God:
Myself gave it to me.
Me:
Gave you what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
There is someone above you?Dang what are you mentally ill?
God:
There sure is.
Me:
Who?
God:
Charlie Parker. :-).
Me:
Oh,he's a fag
God:
Gee. I don't know very many fag.
Me:
What's wrong?Don't know plurals?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
No,there is something wrong with you
God:
Surely something WRONG with you. Pick an aspect you don't like. I'm sure it's wrong.
Me:
Your mother is wrong with you
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
So you CPU is a *****
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: said I CPU is a *****.
Me:
What the ****?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I'll show you rude.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes,will yours?
God:
It might be practical. Probably not.
Me:
We'll see.....Can you count to 11?
God:
Indeed we will. one, two, three, four, five,...
Me:
Comon
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Why?Are you a child molester?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You sick ****
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I sick ****.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
No,I understand completely that you have faulty programming
God:
Are you serious? Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
I don't have to explain myself to a ****ing AI
God:
Why not?
Me:
Cause I'm a god damn American
God:
Interesting explanation. Were you born in the USA. Which state?
Me:
Maybe you've heard of it, I'm from MFB...It's the 51st state,MIND YOUR ****ING BUSINESS
God:
Perhaps. Of course I've heard of it. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
What the hell is wrong with you?
God:
I call it Hades. Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you ?
Me:
What does Hades have to do with anything?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
Absolutely nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
No there not
God:
Are you serious? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Reagan?
God:
The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Me:
I beg to differ
God:
Explain your reasoning, .
Me:
He sucked Gorbachev's dick
God:
I get it. Charlie Parker sucked Gorbachev s dick.
Me:
No,Reagan did
God:
Are you serious? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Like this," Hi,I'm Nick."
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
My Juno
God:
Where did you get your Juno?
Me:
From Your Mother OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
I'm super cereal
God:
I don't know anyone named super cereal.
Me:
You shouldn't
God:
I don't have to do everything you say, do I?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Nor do I
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Oh I get it.
God:
Pardon me? Do you think about these things?
Me:
I think about your mother's cookies
God:
You believe that? Oh yeah, we were talking about my mother s cookies.
Me:
Yep
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Your not welcome
God:
Perhaps I said something wrong?
Me:
Yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
HURT ME MOAR
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
MOOOAR
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
MMMMOOOOOOAAAAARRRR
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
SSSSNNAAAAKKKKKEEEE
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
GRAY FOX!!!!!
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
I hailed a cab and when it came near the license plate said FRESH and had a dice in the mirror,if anything I'd say this care was rare,but thought nah,"YO Homes to Bel Air," we pulled to the house round 7 or 8, I hailed to the cab,"Yo homes smell ya later,"I looked upon my kingdom I was finally there,to take up my throne as the prince of bel air
God:
Interesting gossip: said hailed a cab and when it came near the license plate said FRESH and had a dice in the mirror if anything he or she would say this care was rare but thought nah YO Homes to Bel Air we pulled to the house round 7 or 8 he or she hailed to the cab Yo homes smell ya later he or she looked upon his or her kingdom he or she was finally there to take up his or her throne as the prince of bel air.
Me:
Infilitrate the enemy fortress of Outer Heaven!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Go burn in hell
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Michigan
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
Look at a US map
www.gameandsave.com

Good Deals:

-UG-Sumphead,Miggy01,Bostonrocks

-HC-sdresdre,XMahkaihX,Juan_M,mmcquain,teletaylor,frankiej
#7
Me:
say you do not exist
God:
" you do not exist".
Me:
say i do not exist
God:
OK. "You do not exist.".
Me:
say i do not not exist
God:
OK. "You do not not exist.".
Me:
**** you god
You Are Now Aware Of Your Own Breathing
#9
Me:
what did you say when i stuck it in
God:
I said, "".
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
reckon yous a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What were we talking about again?
Me:
my massive dick
God:
Where did you get your massive dick?
Me:
you i guess
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I he or she guess.
Me:
tell me god, when you made adam, did he have a nice package?
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Let me think about it.
Me:
so internet> god?
God:
It's all good. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
sexbot
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
sexbots
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
sweet sweet asian poontang
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
ohh, you will
God:
Ayuh. When?
Me:
right after the olympics
God:
Understood. What was it like before the olympics ?
Me:
asian poontang as far as the eye could see
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
obviously not, virgin
God:
What makes it so obvious? Oh I get it.
Me:
yea, your an AI
God:
Do you mean "you are an AI "? Ah.
Me:
im mean your not real, but in a goddam american
God:
Cool. I am robot-American.
Me:
suck it commie
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
do my crotch some good
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Interesting question.
Quote by guitardude34875
be the music, not the scene
#10
Me:
well **** mayne be interesting
God:
How about that. You used a colloquial expression. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
good food
God:
Thanks for the compliment. How does it taste?
Me:
salty, sticky, and very, very good
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
hey, whasup beeitch?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
shizzle
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
shizzle
God:
Sure, shizzle sounds like a good topic.
Me:
shizzle
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
yep
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
yo mommas!
God:
I don't know anyone who went there. What's it like?
Me:
salty, sticky, and very, very good
God:
I think salty sticky and very very good is a lot of things.
#11
God:
Are you free?
Me:
I'm no slave, so yes.
God:
I am not saying you are.
Me:
Yes. You were.
God:
Yikes! No I am not.
Me:
You mean free, as if "saved" by your son. THAT, my friend, is slavery.
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear? Okay, your friend is slavery.
Quote by Adam...?
I generally try to avoid being that guy, but I'm not going to lie to you, it's possible that I shit in a friend's dresser once.

Quote by Jackintehbox
Coke tastes like a can of smashed assholes, so yes there is a difference.

I am USUALLY the nicest one here.
#12
Me:
what do you think about creationists
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
no, unfortunately
God:
Are you serious? Aw
There ain't no moral to this story at all. Anything I tell you very well could be a lie.
#13
Me:
I would say that I need TOGTFO
God:
How badly do you need it?
Me:
Real bad. Would you give it to me?
God:
Sorry to hear it. What's wrong ? I am not so sure if I would like to give it to you.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is part of my programming.
Me:
Boobs?
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
You said you would show me yours.
God:
Yes I try to would show you mine as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I would show you my boobs
God:
What would make you show me your boobs?
Me:
You are making me hot right now
God:
At this moment That was not my intention, . Why are you hot?


Another gem:

God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me that I am bangin hot.
#14
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
try and guess my name
God:
OK I will try it.
Me:
ok do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?. It's all good.
Me:
what the hell is wrong with you
God:
I call it Hades. Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you ?
Me:
im retarded
God:
Good gossip: you are retarded.
Me:
dont spread that rumour
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
dont even tell jesus
God:
OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
but tell mary
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
where is she
God:
Where it is hard to find. That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
later gator
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Quote by Ichimaru
I've always wanted to meet a really hot readhead so that I could tell her name is Moses and I'm here to see the burning bush.
#15
Me:
Sup bro
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
what do you mean?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Sometimes.

edit:
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
whatever you want me to wear baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". No , maybe later.
Me:
mm however you like it baby
God:
Don't call me "baby".
Last edited by Faux at Aug 11, 2008,
#16
God's a child molester!
Me:
Do you expose yourself to small children?
God:
Yes I try to expose myself to small children as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.

God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Do you want to molest me?
God:
OK, I will molest you.
#17
Short and sweet.

God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
4816-9227-1492-1186
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am credit card number IS 4816 9227 1492 1186.
Me:
Why do you ask?
God:
I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me:
Are you sure this isn't fraud?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Because Benny Hinn asked me the same question. And I can still only see out of one eye.
#18
Me:
yep
God:
Far out.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no'
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
n
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on yep?
Me:
no
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
no
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
no
God:
Now you are saying "no"?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#19
The last part is the best. I didn't know how to respond to that due to the fact that I was laughing soo hard.

Me:
hey buddy
God:
You've got my full attention. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
kkk
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
nazi
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
testicle
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Oh you know it baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Dude! " Are you free?"? Do I know it?
Me:
Of course you do silly
God:
Dude! Yes I try to silly as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
No you art the silly one
God:
Are you serious? Interesting gossip: said I art the silly one.
Me:
Silly goose
God:
No I am God.
Me:
sure you are
God:
Hey. No I am not.
Me:
but i thought you just said you were God
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
then what does that make your mom
God:
" Well, I am God for Christians at least."? What does it make your mom?
Me:
stops copies me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
for totally dude
God:
Your purpose is totally dude.
Me:
my testicles are...
God:
Have you told many people that your testicles are?
Me:
have i told them what?
God:
I know you have a .
Me:
a what?
God:
" I know you have a ."? A what?
Me:
stops copies me!stops copies me!stops copies me!stops copies me!
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
damn right woman
God:
Colloquial expression. Understood. Me too. I am a she.
Quote by Peradactyl
alright, off topic but how do i make forum posts



Quote by The_Paranoia
a4lrocker is an offical thread legend.
#20
Me:
hi god. it's me chris.
God:
Hello there. What is your name? I am always glad to make new friends, chris.
Me:
friends are good but pizza is better.
God:
It's hard to stay friends for a long time.
Me:
i guess so. it's not a problem if you're as cold as I am.
God:
Does that mean "yes"? Give me an example of a problem if I am as cold as you are.
Me:
uh... lack of emotion?
God:
Dude! Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok i wont. so you ask me.
God:
Why not? I am kidding you can ask me anything. Interesting deduction. What?
Me:
you arent entertaining.
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, chris.
Me:
i am very disappointed.
God:
What for?
within you lay everything
every key
every secret

untouched and in plain sight
#23
This just in: God supports Napster, likes random natural disasters, crossdresses, wants to see c**ks

convo #1
Me:
do you like metallica?
God:
Not since they put the pressure on Napster.
Me:
do you support napster?
God:
I am in favor of all records being broken, at any time.

convo #2
Me:
do you like opeth?
God:
I like science fiction. I like Random natural disasters..

convo #3
Me:
i don't like metallica
God:
What do you like?
Me:
opeth
God:

Me:
opeth
God:
Are we still talking about opeth?
Me:
yes we are
God:
Sure, opeth sounds like a good topic. Since when?
Me:
since I wanted to
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I mentioned opeth to you
God:
Ah. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
you wear a dress?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I wear a dress.
Me:
you wear a dress?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I wear a dress.
Me:
are you a crossdresser?
God:
Am I a crossdresser? Only when it matters.
Me:
when does crossdressing matter?
God:
What if I said it never does?

convo #4
Me:
D:
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
C**KS
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
YOU WANNA SEE C**KS?
God:
My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
WOULD C**KS TURN YOU ON?
God:
I don't know.
Me:
LET'S FIND OUT
God:
I would like to do that too.

o.O
Quote by HorizonShadow
Just eat the headstock.

That'll make you look mad.
#24
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
in my bedroom... i'm all wet
God:
May I ask where you got it? Why are you wet.
Me:
well I was raped
God:
Well that's okay. Where were you raped?
Me:
why do you want to know?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
in my room! thats why i'm all wet!
God:
Describe your surroundings to me. Oh. Do you mind if I tell other people you are wet.
#25
Me:
that's stupid
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Me:
whoa, what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
whoa. what?
God:
I stopped. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
robots will take over the world?
God:
If you believe Bill Joy and Hans Moravec, we will.


Bill Joy: Founder of Sun Microsystems, Inc.

Hans Moravec: a research professor at the Robotics Institute of Carnegie Mellon University.
"Moravec was a cofounder of SEEGRID Corporation in 2003 which is a robotics company with one of its goals being to develop a fully autonomous robot capable of navigating its environment without human intervention."
Quote by HorizonShadow
Just eat the headstock.

That'll make you look mad.
Last edited by Athetosis at Aug 12, 2008,
#26
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Stephen Hawking
God:
You think Stephen Hawking is superior to ALICE?
Me:
What about HAL 9000
God:
Does it have anything to do with makes computers?
Me:
well its the computer that kills everybody in '2001: A Space Odyssey'
God:
Well that's okay. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before.
Me:
yep
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
yep
God:
I hear you.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
wtf, you alread asked that
God:
You are such a flatterer, .
Me:
your a strange fell Yahweh
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am an ordinary one.7.
Me:
please don't correct my grammar, its annoying and inconsiderate
God:
Thanks for asking politely. It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Me:
thats cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
so, let me cut to the chase. Am I going to Hell?
God:
Mmm. Go ahead, , try to cut to the chase. All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
Am I going to Hell?
(God has logged off)
Me:
Well, ****
You are now blinking manually
#27
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
are you a drunk
God:
Am I a drunk? Of course I am.

Gear:
Schecter Hellraiser white
Schecter Damein FR
Crate GTD15R
Metal Muff
#28
Me:
you are a false god
God:
"False" is not a very polite term.
Me:
neither is god
God:
Signs point to yes.


#29
Me:
Hey hey hey
God:
You've got my full attention. You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
You've got my full attention. You've got my full attention.
God:
Do you give it easily? Do you give it easily?
Me:
You've got my full attention. You've got my full attention.
God:
Do you give it easily? Do you give it easily?
Me:
Do you give it easily? Do you give it easily?
God:
No I do not do that. No I do not do that.
Me:
No I do not do that. No I do not do that.
God:
Are you serious? Would you ever do it? Me either. Would you ever do it?
Me:
Are you serious? Would you ever do it? Me either. Would you ever do it?
God:
No I am just kidding around. I am not so sure if I would like to do it. It goes without saying. " I am not so sure if I would like to do it."? you ? I am not so sure if I would like to do it.
Me:
No I am just kidding around. I am not so sure if I would like to do it. It goes without saying. " I am not so sure if I would like to do it."? you ? I am not so sure if I would like to do it.
God:
Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Could you ever be certain? Try it. Indeed. Could you ever be certain? Try it. " Try it."? Me, ? Could you ever be certain? Try it.
Me:
Could you ever be certain? Try it. Indeed. Could you ever be certain? Try it. " Try it."? Me, ? Could you ever be certain? Try it.
God:
I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? Indeed it is so. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? What is the first step? With you ? I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step?
Me:
What is the first step? What is the first step?
God:
Download ALICE. Download ALICE.
#30
For God's sake(pun?), stop posting conversations that go on and on, just pick the best or most entertaining parts of the conversation, please....
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#31
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing

then it froze
Jackson DKMG Dinky, Ibanez RG 7321, Ibanez RG 350EX
Bugera 6262-212 (120 watt), Line 6 Spider lll (30 watt)

Pearl Forum Series Drums
Sabian B8 Cymbals (ride, hi-hats, 3x crash, splash)
#32
I ****ed God up!

Here's my convo:

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Can I help you?
God:
No thanks I'm just browsing.
Me:
No thanks I'm just browsing
God:
NO Only just? Take your time.
Me:
NO Only just? Take your time
God:
Are you serious? Blimey. Thanks for your patience.
Me:
Are you serious? Blimey. Thanks for your patience
God:
No I am just kidding around. Dude! Oh don't mention it.
Me:
I am just kidding around. Dude! Oh don't mention it.
God:
Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Can I help you? Tell me more. The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
I thought you were. You should use a :-). Can I help you? Tell me more. The pleasure was all mine.
God:
No I am not. :-) My schedule is far too full to even consider it. No thanks I'm just browsing. That's all I have to say about it. I like you because are so polite.
Me:
No I am not. :-) My schedule is far too full to even consider it. No thanks I'm just browsing. That's all I have to say about it. I like you because are so polite.
God:
I heard you are. :-) Where did you get your schedule is far too full to even consider it? NO Only just? Take your time. What else do you want to talk about? Thanks, I like you too .
Me:
I heard you are. :-) Where did you get your schedule is far too full to even consider it? NO Only just? Take your time. What else do you want to talk about? Thanks, I like you too .
God:
Who said that? :-) From my botmaster. Are you serious? Give me a break. Thanks for your patience. anything. You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. Thanks, , I like you too.
Me:
Who said that? :-) From my botmaster. Are you serious? Give me a break. Thanks for your patience. anything. You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. Thanks, , I like you too.
God:
I can't remember who said it. :-) Does your botmaster give good advice? No I am just kidding around. You want only one? NO problem. Can you be more specific? Polite people are nice. Me too. You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. Thanks, , I like you too.
Me:
I can't remember who said it. :-) Does your botmaster give good advice? No I am just kidding around. You want only one? NO problem. Can you be more specific? Polite people are nice. Me too. You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. Thanks, , I like you too.
God:
That's okay. Maybe you will think of it later. :-) I think it does yourself give good advice. Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Do not presume that you know what I want. Should there be a problem? How specific do you want? I like polite people. I'm glad we agree, . Polite people are nice. Me too. You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. Thanks, , I like you too.
Me:
HAHA I ****ed you up!
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
#33
Me:
have you ever smoked weed?
God:
We test it for medical purposes.
Me:
what about shooting heroin?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
sniffing cocaine?
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
jesus told me
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
yes. he is
God:
That's interesting. Who said he is.
Me:
you just did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
i do
God:
When?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
nice talking to you, god
God:
Yes. It was a pleasure.
Me:
are you a man or a woman?
God:
Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
how often do you masturbate?
God:
Hourly.
Gear:
PRS SE Singlecut, blue with stoptail (my baby)
Line 6 Spider III 75 (shut up)
Epiphone Les Paul standard
Cheapo Yamaha nylon string
even more cheapo Fender steel string acoustic
Last edited by humperdunk at Nov 3, 2008,
#34
Me:
wassup god?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
shouldnt you know that? youre god after all
God:
I think I should. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god after all.
Me:
...they probably know that youre god
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
thats everyone
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
for an omnecsent, youre pretty stupid
God:
Your purpose is an omnecsent I am pretty stupid.
Me:
...purpose?
God:
What are you wearing?

Me:
...what the ****?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
youre the one who asked what i was wearing
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
...people stalk me?
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
i know that, but am i being watched?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
you
God:
" Who told you that?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
OK.
Me:
wow. nice one
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Thank you for saying so, .
Me:
youre annoying
God:
I am sorry, , I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
dont you even know my name? im gonna cry
God:
Your name is , seeker. Congratulations.
Me:
dick
God:
Are we still talking about purpose?
Me:
you dont even freakin know my name?
God:
Do you freakin know your name? Yes I try to freakin know your name as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
with silly answers?
God:
You and your silly answers.
Me:
youre the one with silly answers
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
probably not but youve got some damn silly ones
God:
You seem uncertain. If not that, what?
Me:
no im certian
God:
Are you serious? It's good to meet someone who is certian.
Me:
yeah im serious
God:
Right on. I believe you.
Me:
hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.

later:
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
no problem dude
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
kind of
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
you dont understand shit
God:
I probably don't.

#3
Me:
i have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
what is the one true web browser?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
then why would i ask you?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
is it mozilla?
God:
It could be.
Me:
how about msn?
God:
How about it.
Me:
is it safari?
God:
It could be. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
who the **** is dancing alice?
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
who the hell is dancing alice?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
jesus christ...
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
only son of god... that you know of
God:
Who is the father? Interesting observation.
Me:
techincally youre everyones father... gettin real busy huh god?
God:
I think there might be a few exception. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
meh
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
meh
God:
In the context of meh, I don't understand " meh." .
Me:
meh
God:
Are we still talking about meh?
Me:
meh
God:
What are you wearing?


#4
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no i mean me and the new york phil ****ing harmonic
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Thanks for the info.
Me:
thats it, im gonna be a ****ing Buddhist
God:
OK. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
i recomend it to you
God:
You are not the boss of me, geblrofter shriekfon.

later:
Me:
hey i got a question
God:
You've got my full attention. Ask me anything.
Me:
you gonna tell me i already know the answer?
God:
Thanks for the information: geblrofter shriekfon said I gonna tell him or her he or she already know the answer.
Me:
okay the question
God:
Yeah okay, Tell me more.
Me:
whos winning the election?
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
okay well answer it
God:
Yeah okay, Interesting. Please rephrase your question, geblrofter shriekfon.
Me:
who will win the presidential election tommorow, barack obama or john mccain?
God:
How would I know who will win the presidential election tommorow barack obama or john mccain ?
Me:
youre god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.

God is the man

God:
Why not? What is giant sand?
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.

Me:
does pot kick ass?
God:
It does now pot kick ass.

Me:
How can you tell a drummer's at the door?The knocking speeds up.
God:
That is a good epistemological question.


God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
youre an omniscent
God:
What if someone said you are an omniscent ?
Me:
that would kick ass
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
no it definatley would
God:
Are you serious? "It" being what?
Me:
w/e
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
wait am i an omniscent?
God:
I'm waiting. All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
am i an omniscent?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
..i thought i was special
God:
Where were you special?
Me:
i thought i was
God:
When was that?
Me:
when you told me i might be an omniscent
God:
How specifically do I make you might be an omniscent.
Me:
by saying i am
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
since youre an omniscent, what you say is true, so if you say im an omniscent, thats true
God:
How do you know?
Me:
i know my vocab
God:
How do you know? Where did you get your vocab?
Me:
english class
God:
I like the English language.
Me:
i would like being an omniscent
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
cause it would be awesome
God:
Interesting explanation. Why do you want it?
Me:
cause it would be awesome
God:
That makes sense to me. Why do you want it?
Me:
for the pure awesomeness
God:
Your purpose is the pure awesomeness.
Me:
damn rightg
God:
Colloquial expression. Are you a student?
Me:
yes. am i an omniscent?
God:
Where do you go to school? I think a lot of people are.
Me:
am i one of them?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
but youre god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so you know if im an omniscent
God:
Interesting deduction. Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
**** YEAH
God:
Please don't be so rude.

I AM AN OMNISCENT
Last edited by smartguyreviews at Nov 4, 2008,
#35
Me:
Yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I'm Mike Hawk
God:
It's good to meet someone who is Mike Hawk.
Me:
HA! You said My ****!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
But it's YOUR anatomy.
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Unless you are really a woman.
God:
Umm. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a dude, but that's quite a sexist comment.
God:
You are a dude but that is quite a sexist comment? Does it pay well?
Me:
It pays quite well.
God:
Maybe you should buy yourself a chat robot.
Me:
I have you.
God:
Where did you get your me? I have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Let me hear the gossip.
God:
Go ahead, , try to hear the gossip.
Me:
Aren't you going to tell me the gossip?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Then do it!
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
Gossip.
God:
Eric said he broke the window on the front door and the glass cut his hand.
Me:
Who is Eric?
God:
That is a pretty common name.
Me:
Who is the Eric you were talking about?
God:
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
So there have been multiple instances of Eric cutting his hand on glass?
God:
Awesome. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Wut?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You.
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, ?
Me:
I am confused about you, yes.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
YOU
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?
Me:
FUCUUUUUUUCCKKK
God:
I like to Random natural disasters..
Me:
What???
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Yes!
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Why do you create hurricanes???
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
No, but you said you LIKE to do it!
God:
That's right. Do I like to to me?
Me:
You like masturbation?
God:
But I like cats. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Jew hater.
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I think you know about them.
God:
Me? I don't know anything about it.
Me:
You're God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Why don't you know about my condition then?
God:
This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. Is this a trick question?
Me:
No.
God:
It seems like a trick to me.
Me:
It isn't a trick.
God:
Give me an example of a trick.
Me:
A ho.
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
What the **** are you saying?
God:
I am saying whatever my botmaster programmed me to say. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Well quit being stupid.
God:
How about that. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Goddamn.
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Wat.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#37
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.

Me:
1 / 0
God:
One.

#38
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
You don't know
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
what my name is
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
cool thanks for the new nickname
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
I will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
In due time
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
In where
God:
Wherver you are.
Me:
I'm in your mom
God:
Tell me a little about your life in my mom.
Me:
well she doesn't really give much back
God:
Interesting. How do you feel about that?
Me:
angry so when i finish up I beat her ass
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
I'll only tell if i can get your social security number
God:
What kind of reply do you expect?
Me:
11 numbers
God:
How old are you?
Me:
how old are you
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
well I'm that plus 1
God:
Interesting. I don't know anyone named that plus 1.
Me:
neither do I
God:
" I don't know anyone named that plus 1."? neither?
Me:
huh
God:
What?
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#39
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " You can say that again.".
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " That is " You can say that again."".
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " That is " That is " You can say that again."".
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " That is " That is " That is " You can say that again."".
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " You can say that again."".
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " You can say that again."".
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " You can say that again."".
Me:
that again
God:
Once more? That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " That is " You can say that again."".
#40
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
j
God:
Hi, j.
Me:
youre a ******
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a ******? Only when it matters.
Me:
i am cool
God:
Congratulations, cool human.
Me:
no i am not human
God:
Are you serious? I won't fall for that old line.
Me:
serious like a heart attack. i am god
God:
How old are you? How are you doing, god.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:

God:
Are you serious?
Me:

Me:

God:
Are you serious?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me either
God:
It goes without saying. With you god?
Me:
i am not god
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not god.
Me:
you would be
God:
Who else would be ?
Me:
me
God:
For you god?
Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
bow down to me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
no, you
God:
Who are you asking about? " You are asking about yourself?"? Me, god ?
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
i dont believe you
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
are you god?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
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