#1
Hello Ug`ers
another Rap/Metal/protest song from me
AND YES ITS CALLED NOMONEY GOT HURT (it`s not that I misspelled the word nobody)
the beat is around 80 bpm and I hope you all enjoy it
NB: don`t judge me for the genre, but for the lyrics
Title: Nomoney got hurt

Verse 1
United we fight together, we`re fighting for the human rights
fighting for our country, for our president the anti-Christ
thousand lives will be lost, thousand bodies will be burned
but after we just don`t care, cause their was nomoney hurt
We don't care `bout our problems, we don't care about our fears now
cause all the money and possession feeds our ignorance for years now
we don`t care, we don`t see, we don`t know, all the F#cking lies
cause we`re taking part in the mind rape show, hell yeah that`s right


Chorus
cause their got no money hurt 3X
after all we just don`t care, cause their was nomoney hurt

Verse 2
listening to some bullsh#t, told by serial mind rapist
presenting normal Muslim men as genocidal terrorists
the US is wasting all their blood, murders only multiplies
but the citizens just close their eyes, while owning guns is legalised
musicians, art and anarchy are threads to the society
The US calls is democracy, but its only modern dictatry
murder genocide and war become more then they ever did before
citizens are blinded by the army, to make sure nobody harms the money

chorus
kick #ss guitar solo
chorus

END
Last edited by aartisookniemiz at Aug 11, 2008,
#2
Quote by aartisookniemiz
Hello Ug`ers
another Rap/Metal/protest song from me
AND YES ITS CALLED NOMONEY GOT HURT (it`s not that I misspelled the word nobody)
the beat is around 80 bpm and I hope you all enjoy it
NB: don`t judge me for the genre, but for the lyrics
Title: Nomoney got hurt

Verse 1
United we fight together, we`re fighting for the human rights
fighting for our country, for our president the anti-Christ not very subtle, but thats ok
thousand lives will be lost, thousand bodies will be burned
but after we just don`t care, cause their was nomoney hurt it's 'there' not 'their'. I don't know about the part 'but after we just don't care', it doesn't seem to flow that well. Can you say the same thing but make that line smoother?
We don't care `bout our problems, we don't care about our fears now
cause all the money and possession feeds our ignorance for years now maybe fed instead of feeds
we don`t care, we don`t see, we don`t know, all the F#cking lies good line, lots of emphasis
cause we`re taking part in the mind rape show, hell yeah that`s right


Chorus
cause their got no money hurt 3X Maybe this is just typos, should it be 'cause there was no money hurt' ? Anyway, its a great hook chorus
after all we just don`t care, cause their was nomoney hurt again, the first part of this line just sounds a little weird, not that strong

Verse 2
listening to some bullsh#t, told by serial mind rapist that's twice you used the mind rape thing, maybe a different analogy here
presenting normal Muslim men as genocidal terrorists awesome line
the US is wasting all their blood, murders only multiplies should be 'multiply'
but the citizens just close their eyes, while owning guns is legalised another awesome line
musicians, art and anarchy are threads to the society
The US calls is democracy, but its only modern dictatry 'is' should be 'it'. 'Dictatry' ha ha I think you made that word up! It's just really awkward, Can you just use 'tyranny' or something?
murder genocide and war become more then they ever did before great
citizens are blinded by the army, to make sure nobody harms the money What do you think about, 'to make sure nobody harms nomoney'

chorus
kick #ss guitar solo hell yeah
chorus

END


I like the feeling and intensity behind the piece, and there are a few piercing lines. Some of them I think could be stronger and could flow better. The grammar mistakes make it tougher to read, but if you're Dutch then obviously I understand. Good effort, great chorus, needs a little more surgery on the verses.


c4c always appreciated (especially since I write similar stuff)