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#1
Title says it all. Make up a joke. here. now. post it, without even noticing it isn't remotely funny or the punchline doesn't make sense.

Rules: no posting any jokes that you haven't just thought of.
no stealing other people's jokes.
nothing REALLY distasteful.
NO CHUCK NORRIS

Bonus points: Use MS Paint to make your stupid joke better.

Where can you buy someone's half eaten supper?
TEABAY HAHAHA
#4
Why did the van go to the wedding.
Because he was the best vanhahahaha
Quote by guitarhero_764
I think you need to stop caring what people think about it. I stayed home all day today and masturbated like 5 times. Fucking blast.

Ibanez ATK300 ◈ Sansamp VT Bass ◈ EHX Nano Small Stone ◈ Hartke LH500 ◈ Ashdown/Celestion 115
#6
Him: I'd love a pet dog.
Her: A dog would eat you alive.
Him: Lion cubs are cute ...
Her: But they grow up!
Him: How about a hamster?
Her: You couldn't handle a hamster, idiot.
Him: =( I can't have any pets at all? wtf not?
Her: You're a grasshopper.
#7
Quote by ScottB.
Why did the van go to the wedding.
Because he was the best vanhahahaha


You have caused the death of 2% of darkstar's soul.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#8
There once was a man from Nantucket. He moved to LA, starred in War of the Worlds, and converted to Scientology. His name was Jamie Lee Curtis.

badumTSHH
Quote by mh400nt
Me too man, I cant remember ever actually laughing out loud for ages due to the internet, omegasus is just....hes just awesome


Quote by Smokey Amp
I'm pretty sure guys don't get breast cancer.
#10
Why do Verizon workers show up to work drunk all the time?
Cus they have more bars in more places lolololol
I've had Alzheimer's Disease for as long as I can remember.

Quote by damian_91
Pleasure2kill, you are a genius!
#11
Quote by Pleasure2kill
Why do Verizon workers show up to work drunk all the time?
Cus they have more bars in more places lolololol


HAHA. That was awesome.
Quote by Haedadru
I suggest nicola teslas powered radiation death ray mounted on an orange, top secret, neo-nazi flying swastika

What?
#12
a guy walks into a doctors with a steering wheel lodged in his pants (underwear) and the doctor says "oo that looks painfull, how did that happen??"
and the other guy replies..."i dont know but its driving me nuts"
xxx


killing is my business... and business is good
#13
Quote by darkstar2466
You have caused the death of 2% of darkstar's soul.

Lol sig'd
Quote by guitarhero_764
I think you need to stop caring what people think about it. I stayed home all day today and masturbated like 5 times. Fucking blast.

Ibanez ATK300 ◈ Sansamp VT Bass ◈ EHX Nano Small Stone ◈ Hartke LH500 ◈ Ashdown/Celestion 115
#14
what do you call a good move by george bush

total bull****
SUBSCRIBE!

Gibson SG faded, black hardware/ EMG81-89
peavey 6505+
GMajor Effects Processor
BBE 362 sonic maximizer
THD Hotplate
Avatar 2x12 w/ Hellatone 60/ K100
Behringer FB1010
#15
Quote by kwidjibo1
a guy walks into a doctors with a steering wheel lodged in his pants (underwear) and the doctor says "oo that looks painfull, how did that happen??"
and the other guy replies..."i dont know but its driving me nuts"

There's no way you just thought of that
#16
Quote by kwidjibo1
a guy walks into a doctors with a steering wheel lodged in his pants (underwear) and the doctor says "oo that looks painfull, how did that happen??"
and the other guy replies..."i dont know but its driving me nuts"


You didn't just think that up. I've heard that a million times.

EDIT: I do have one... I didn't personally make it up, but my friend did on the spot just last week.

Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Cause it's too far to walk.
Quote by alteredstates
If you are rowing down the road in your canoe and your wagon wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to make a doghouse?

Green, because a vest has no sleeves.

Can't we all just get a bong?
#18
A mother is cleaning her sons room, and finds a gay porn magazine under the bed. She confronts him when he arrives home from school, and he says his girlfriend left it there.

The mother believes him.
Originally Posted by Kensai
Thx keine_lust, I probably would've missed the chili's if it wasn't for you


SCARECROW of UG's Gotham City
#19
why haven't the Cubans dominated in the swimming events in the Olympics?

They are not swimming in choppy waters
#20
Quote by Judas Acolyte
HAHA. That was awesome.

Sweet, let me try again!

What do you call Kirk Hammett without a wah pedal?
Unemployed lololol!
I've had Alzheimer's Disease for as long as I can remember.

Quote by damian_91
Pleasure2kill, you are a genius!
#21
Quote by Keine_Lust
A mother is cleaning her sons room, and finds a gay porn magazine under the bed. She confronts him when he arrives home from school, and he says his girlfriend left it there.

The mother believes him.

Wasn't that from the Fundamentalist Christian chatroom?
I've had Alzheimer's Disease for as long as I can remember.

Quote by damian_91
Pleasure2kill, you are a genius!
#24
This thread.

Oh wait, you made that, not me.
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#26
So there's this guy, and his watch breaks, so he goes to a watchmaker to get it fixed, but the watchmaker says it's damaged beyond repair, so he goes to a mystic, and...

Ok, there's no punchline. I couldn't think of one. Why? Fuck you, that's why.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#27
Quote by break-me-in
So there's this guy, and his watch breaks, so he goes to a watchmaker to get it fixed, but the watchmaker says it's damaged beyond repair, so he goes to a mystic, and...

Ok, there's no punchline. I couldn't think of one. Why? Fuck you, that's why.

Oh my God, I just shat a bit..
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#28
Quote by Epiphany521
what was the dog's last words?

woof


*Chokes on pizza*

Also, bonus points to Pleasure2kill
#29
Quote by andy_thomas
You didn't just think that up. I've heard that a million times.

EDIT: I do have one... I didn't personally make it up, but my friend did on the spot just last week.

Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Cause it's too far to walk.


You know, I've heard that one a million times too, your friend didn't just make it up.
#30
Here's one my friend made up:

What do you call it when you put your scrotum in a bowl of cheese?

Sac-aroni n' Cheese!!!
#31
Quote by Pleasure2kill

What do you call Kirk Hammett without a wah pedal?
Unemployed lololol!



f****ing EPIC!
im siggin
maybe
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#32
This room is more packed than a Hong Kong apartment block.
Ego inflating praise here:
Quote by Fishyesque
That is SOOOOOOOOOOO sig worthy! Pure awesomeness to you, sir.

C wut I did thar Fishy?

's UG
#33
How many fundamental Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They all turn to the bible for light.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#34
what breed of dog is the best at science?


A lab
Patrick Star of The Jelly fishing Club PM darkstar2644 to Join
#35
Check this beast of a joke out:

What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A Zebra.

Oh yeah.... I went there
#37
Quote by cretinisticDuck
Three blind mice walk into a pub.
But they are unaware of their surroundings
so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Bill Bailey. edit and do your own.
#38
Quote by ScottB.
Why did the van go to the wedding.
Because he was the best vanhahahaha

I'm not going to lie, I lol'd.
#39
How many fat kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5,one to screw in the light buld and 4 to perform mouth to mouth on the other guy.
Who Said Anything About A Signature ? ಠ_ಠ
#40
Quote by TUXGUITAR
A chinese copule have a deformed kid guess what they name him


somting wong




A 10/10 performance.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie