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#1
Has anyone here compared their guitar to a woman?

I compare my LP to a skinny, petite brunette since it has a slim body, a slim neck and brunette because of the finish. It tends to PMS on me when I set her intonation. I named my LP Lori.

My Gretsch is like a voluptuous Rockabilly/Greaser gal, with its large body and gracious curves and fatter neck. She plays so lively and screams through the single coil DeArmond 2000 pickups. Try to restring her, and her Bigsby tailpeice acts very b*tchy. I named my Gretsch Roxi.

Guitars are like beautiful women, I can stare at either one all day.

To give the Pit some forethought, I know some here are going to tell me to get a girlfriend, so in advance I'll tell you all that I DO have a girlfirend that I've been seeing for almost a year now, we plan on getting married in 2010, and she fully understands my comparison of guitars to women. She laughs about it.

So let's hear about it, Pit!
-Custom Epiphone LP
-Gretsch G5129 Electromatic
-Fender DG8S Acoustic
-Fender Blues Jr. NOS amp
-Boss FBM-1, CS-3, NS-2, DD-7, RC-2 Pedals
#2
Guitars don't have feelings and they don't spend your money.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#4
lps are some of the fattest heaviest and least feminine guitars made, and why does your guitar have meunstration?

my squiers like a cheap poorly made wh0re,
my washburns a nice bar girl, thats secretly a nymphomaniac
Quote by guitardude34875
be the music, not the scene
#8
Quote by ShredGod George
lps are some of the fatest heaviest guitars made, and why does your guitar have meunstration?

my squiers like a cheap poorly made *****,
my washburns a nice bar girl, thats secretly a nymphomaniac





Actually, I was referring to the behavioral part of it. I can never get the intonation perfect on the G string.

Compared to my Gretsch, my LP has a slimmer body. Sorry if I didn't make that clear the first time.
-Custom Epiphone LP
-Gretsch G5129 Electromatic
-Fender DG8S Acoustic
-Fender Blues Jr. NOS amp
-Boss FBM-1, CS-3, NS-2, DD-7, RC-2 Pedals
#9
Quote by darkstar2466
Guitars don't have feelings and they don't spend your money.
No but we spend money on them.
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#10
My guitar is heavy, white, and sits propped up against a bookcase in the corner of my room.

Amidoinitrite?
#11
Mine would be mental-retarded, it is a Special model after all....
I NEED TO CHANGE MY USERNAME


  • Agile AL-3XXX Custom Tobacco Sunburst w/ EMG 57/66
  • ESP LTD EC-1000T CTM Black w/ Seymour Duncan Blackouts
  • Jet City JCA100HDM w/ Avatar Contemporary 2x12 Cab
  • Seymour Duncan 805 Overdrive
  • Dunlop OG Crybaby Wah
  • MXR Smartgate
#12
Quote by Snake™
Mine would be mental-retarded, it is a Special model after all....



I have one, too. They're not so bad...
-Custom Epiphone LP
-Gretsch G5129 Electromatic
-Fender DG8S Acoustic
-Fender Blues Jr. NOS amp
-Boss FBM-1, CS-3, NS-2, DD-7, RC-2 Pedals
#13
My RG is my baby i named her ruby and she is a gogo dancer and i make her scream all the time.
My mutt guitar (its mixture of brands) is a ***** but i love her.
My 79 samick is like an old experienced woman since she is like a frankenstrat and with a billion PU combos
#14
Quote by fsae0607
I have one, too. They're not so bad...

Lol I have one too. Its bad. Mine would be a Red head, who is really "special" in a way. And never stays in tune.
#15
oh yeah
in class one day my friend brought his guitar and we were talkin about it like it was a woman and our teacher thinks of us very weird now.
she thinks my friend is gay haha
#16
Quote by fsae0607
I have one, too. They're not so bad...


Mine is. And I abuse it a lot, so that doesn't help.
I NEED TO CHANGE MY USERNAME


  • Agile AL-3XXX Custom Tobacco Sunburst w/ EMG 57/66
  • ESP LTD EC-1000T CTM Black w/ Seymour Duncan Blackouts
  • Jet City JCA100HDM w/ Avatar Contemporary 2x12 Cab
  • Seymour Duncan 805 Overdrive
  • Dunlop OG Crybaby Wah
  • MXR Smartgate
#17
if my LP was a woman she would have; rough edges, big ass, chunky arms, weird face, a deep manly voice.


kinda like hilary clinton....
you gonna get raped!!!!!!!


#18
Quote by Zorro.AJ
if my LP was a woman she would have; rough edges, big ass, chunky arms, weird face, a deep manly voice.


kinda like hilary clinton....

that was amazing
#20
If my strat was a woman, I'd qualify her as the kind of women I love.

Small breasts (pick ups) and a bigger butt (horns).

I love her.
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#21
a strat would be a skinny brunnete with a black dress (atleast mine) my strat is called LOLA you cant get a hawter name than lola
Looking for a new sig!
#22
a guitar won't complain if u break its G-string
Quote by RU Experienced?
See the FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU- thread, he's a God amongst men.

^^ about me


Confucius once say: "Women is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time, 1/4 ragtime."

This is my sig, get over it. ಠ_ಠ
#23
If my electric was a woman, she'd be my best friend.

My acoustic is like me, in guitar form. Small waisted, small in stature and curvy, with a glossy finish. Haha. Infact, the bridge and fretboard are the colour of my hair.

Actually, thinking about it, my guitars are pretty much an extension of myself.
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#24
The police took mine away...

They said I was fingering A minor.
PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER
WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES...
#25
Quote by teh_Beatles
The police took mine away...

They said I was fingering A minor.

we've all been there, holmez, we've all been there
Quote by guitardude34875
be the music, not the scene
#27
My v gets around her legs are always spread....
'93 Gibson LP Studio (498T/490R)-Ebony
'14 Gibson LP Standard (JB/Jazz)-Ocean Water Perimeter
Epi MKH LP Custom-7 (SD Custom Shop JB-7)-Ebony
+More

Maxon od808|Boss NS-2|Boss CE-5|
Line6 G55|Korg Pitchblack Pro

JVM 210h|1960a(V30/G12t-75)
#29
My double bass is like a woman,
She's deep and fat and likes to be slapped.
#30
If guitars were women my off-brand LP would be a cheap, redheaded, big bottom girl who really needs a wash and has scars from me frequently hitting her head on tables and walls.

Oh, and if pickups are breasts, she only has one.
#31
This makes girls feel like objects. Thanks a heap.
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks ,
then I'll follow you into the dark.
#32
No, because I have a life.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#33
My Ibanez is very slim, looks stunning and is bloodey fast.
I don't know how the last one relates to a woman but oh well.
Oh, and its battery-powered.
Xbox Live tag: Dream Away Rain
Add!

Quote by marko'd
dont sweat how quick your progressing, i heard that Jimi hendrix didnt get his legendary guitar skills until he was dead


Quote by Dreadnought
+ MOTHERFUCKIN' 1
#34
where'd you get a keyboard in the kitchen?!?!

and its comparing guitars to something you love
Quote by guitardude34875
be the music, not the scene
#35
My guitar would be an attractive woman, because I don't need to get it drunk before it lets me remove its G-string.

*Also insert "fingering" joke here*

Edit: Goddammit, I was beaten to the G-string jokes too. I should have known.

Quote by loveSCENE-girl
This makes girls feel like objects. Thanks a heap.

We're not making girls feel like objects. We're making objects feel like girls.
#36
Quote by loveSCENE-girl
This makes girls feel like objects. Thanks a heap.


Both are extremely beautiful, and I want touch, hold and finger all of them. It's a valid comparison.

You just don't like it because you're a low end B.C. Rich.
#37
I was sort of kidding, but okay. XD
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks ,
then I'll follow you into the dark.
#39
Quote by loveSCENE-girl
I was sort of kidding, but okay. XD


I'm pretty sure everyone else was kidding too, dear.


Quote by metaldud536
DAAAAAYUUUM. Dude that is a low blow.


Yes it was, I sincerely apologize.
#40
My Gibson SG Special would be rather plain and boring on the outside, nothing special just a cute brunette. But she'd have diverse taste (because its versatile as hell) and she'd be pretty damn classy.
Last edited by The Silent Fool at Aug 12, 2008,
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