#1
New song, gonna record it when i get a mic. Critic it. Thanks

whatever happened to today's youth
they all got desensitized by youtube
sit around all day doing nothing at all
watching T.V. playing video games
companies fall then rise in days
the youth own the world,
and all its occupaints

most are fat, lazy, and dumb
glued their eyes to their t.v.'s
almost all have poor eye-sight
cheat codes and easter eggs
all that they look for in a game
the easiest ways to do things
brain-masses the size of a pea


wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

lost their brains to the XBox
and their expensive laptops
searching up stuff on Google
watching crappy videos on youtube
losing their brain cells more and more
to the pointless junk on the iternet

wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

They've gotten worse by the decade
sitting around all day on their couch
sipping fizzy sodas, eating candy bars
getting more and more rolls by the minute
flabby dough balls roll around all day long
no more sports outside, no more fresh air
everything's gone artifcial, even air


wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#2
might add some more to it. Tell me if i should or not
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#3

but in all seriousness id say its alright. i just hope your not a youth yourself.
Quote by cliff_em_all
cof_median11 is a Child Rapist.

Quote by blink day 4 eva
Theres a mosquito that lives in my room and i let him bite me all the time and i let him live. It's our special deal. His name is "The Dude".

Quote by Babbs
cof_median11, you sick ****.
#4
nope im a teen!
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#5
^i'd say teens fall more to these stereotypes than younger kids but not bad overall. some parts lacked flow but putting them to a song it fits in can always change that.
MM Stingray
MIA P Bass
MIM Jazz Bass
GK 700RB-II Head
GK 410SBX Cab
Sansamp 3 Ch. DI
Crybaby Bass Wah
Bass Big Muff
DD3 Delay

MIA Strat
Nashville Tele
Martin 00015M
Hot Rod Deluxe
Big Muff
DS1
Hendrix Crybaby Wah
#6
yupp. See now im writing better songs.
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#7
i added a couple of lines to do over some riffs:

whatever happened to today's youth
they all got desensitized by youtube
sit around all day doing nothing at all
watching T.V. playing video games
companies fall then rise in days
the youth own the world,
and all its occupaints

most are fat, lazy, and dumb
glued their eyes to their t.v.'s
almost all have poor eye-sight
cheat codes and easter eggs
all that they look for in a game
the easiest ways to do things
brain-masses the size of a pea


wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

lost their brains to the XBox
and their expensive laptops
searching up stuff on Google
watching crappy videos on youtube
losing their brain cells more and more
to the pointless junk on the iternet

wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

They've gotten worse by the decade
sitting around all day on their couch
sipping fizzy sodas, eating candy bars
getting more and more rolls by the minute
flabby dough balls roll around all day long
no more sports outside, no more fresh air
everything's gone artifcial, even air


wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

we lost our youth
we lost our youth
we lost our youth'

wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

we lost our youth
we lost our youth
we lost our youth
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#8
whatever happened to today's youth
they all got desensitized by youtube
sit around all day doing nothing at all
watching T.V. playing video games
companies fall then rise in days
the youth own the world,
and all its occupaints ------ doesn't seem to make sense... desensitized youth watching youtube and playing video games all day own the world and all its occupants?


most are fat, lazy, and dumb
glued their eyes to their t.v.'s
almost all have poor eye-sight
cheat codes and easter eggs
all that they look for in a game
the easiest ways to do things
brain-masses the size of a pea ------ makes much more sense. very true as well.


wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A. ----- "all across the U.S. and of A."??? Take out the 'and', it doesn't work there.


lost their brains to the XBox
and their expensive laptops
searching up stuff on Google
watching crappy videos on youtube
losing their brain cells more and more
to the pointless junk on the iternet ----- might use a few more complex words... maybe go through a thesaurus for some of them... not saying you need to be using words people don't know, just words that will add a bit more... intellect? Unless you're going for a punk sound, then this will be fine.

wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A. ------ take out the 'and'.

They've gotten worse by the decade
sitting around all day on their couch
sipping fizzy sodas, eating candy bars
getting more and more rolls by the minute
flabby dough balls roll around all day long
no more sports outside, no more fresh air
everything's gone artifcial, even air ------- eeeeeeh, don't use 'air' two times in a row. Maybe you could move one of these lines, or get rid of one. I like "everything's gone artificial, even air" so keep that.


wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

we lost our youth
we lost our youth
we lost our youth'

wasted youth, that's what they are
no more fun beyond their doors
wasted youth, i'll sing it loud
lazy fat slobs all day long
wasted youth, long and far
all across the U.S. and of A.

we lost our youth
we lost our youth
we lost our youth


It shows potential. Keep on writing.