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#1
Today I woke up and there was this big heavy table on my front lawn. I expect some hoodlums had brought it to have sex on it or with it during the night.

Wut do I do?
#2
Quick! Think of something original!
Quote by red18420
There is no point except party and be healthy and happy. Also money is not something to live for. If i didnt need money for drugs and beer i would give mine away.


Vote here to help me get to BC!
#3
Cum blood.
Quote by top shelf

I couldn't do it [masturbate] with the cast on however. That's when I dug out my baby sister's stuffed animals and went to town

Quote by Tubyboulin
Is it bad that I imagined you saying that in a really sexy voice?
#6
see if they left any jizzy ecidence!
Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
#8
To me:
Quote by crazy8rgood

In fact, I almost ALWAYS agree with YourDad.

Quote by itchy guitar
One of the best replies ever.

In the same thread

Do you love Arsis?
#9
look for termits???
Quote by Allnightmask22

Alternatively, have your friends hold him down, then take a dump in his mouth, make sure your genitals don't touch him though, that's gay.

Quote by RageAgainst...
Teddy-Metal
for those who like to mosh, but just wanna cuddle afterwards

smashing pumkins fans=)^
#12
This table, would it take at least two to lift it, because of its weight and size?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#13



Current Gear:
LTD MH-400 with Gotoh GE1996T (EMG 85/60)
PRS SE Custom 24 (Suhr SSH+/SSV)
Ibanez RG3120 Prestige (Dimarzio Titans)
Squier Vintage Modified 70s Jazz V
Audient iD22 interface
Peavey Revalver 4, UAD Friedman BE100/DS40
Adam S3A monitors
Quote by Anonden
You CAN play anything with anything....but some guitars sound right for some things, and not for others. Single coils sound retarded for metal, though those who are apeshit about harpsichord probably beg to differ.
#14
Quote by Jericho114
Quick! Think of something original!


I hadn't expected to laugh in this thread.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#17
Quote by snipelfritz
This table, would it take at least two to lift it, because of its weight and size?

Yes, yes something like that.

I cannot lift it and move it because I do not have another persons assistance.
#18
carve the lol wut pair into the face of it and launch it out of a catapult.

EDIT: Oh by the way can I have my table back it's my girl friends mom's.
Quote by ACG
Put scotch tape on your penis and icy hot on your balls

Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
What the hell does that have to do with freeing whales from pirates?
Last edited by Bama Jama at Aug 12, 2008,
#20
get out ur ultraviolet light and check for cum or for blood from a murder.
My Gear:
Fender Custom Shop Time Machine 1956 relic
plus accessories
Your position and your relationship with music has to be one from the inside. - John Frusciante
and yes, my avatar is weezy, what?
#21
shouldnt this be in the somebody stole my table thread that one dude posted in here? lol
Quote by Trefellin
Anyone with half a brain knows that Jesus is way more metal than Satan. Lucifer was the worlds very first emo.


Quote by glowinghamster4'

i just want to let you know that made my day.



Quote by Weaponized
Solid state master race
#22
Quote by ling_yu
pm it to ld167

I would, but I need another persons assistance to lift it and put it in said PM.
#24
*waits for "I stole a table" thread*

EDIT: Yeah.. Don't make that thread....
sup?
Last edited by ldl67 at Aug 12, 2008,
#25
Quote by RHCP987123
for blood from a murder.

or from masturbation, just in case somebody...well you know the rest
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#27
Quote by MetalheadforJC
shouldnt this be in the somebody stole my table thread that one dude posted in here? lol

I did not see said thread, I was just simply posting about how somehow someone dropped a table onto my front lawn, possibly came on it, and left it there and now I cannot pick it up because I would need another person's assistance.
#28
Quote by kevC4
I smell trolls.

I wouldn't call it quite trolling, but I do think this has gone quite far enough and hope the mods shut this down as soon as they see it.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#29
Holy sh*t is that ever funny. Honestly.
OMG I can't hold in my laughter that was soo funny. I can't beleive you thought of something so original and hilarious to post a new thread out of. This is amazing material, like...JESUS!

...

Edit:...
#33
Quote by pak1351
the i stole a table thread got shut down already

As it should!
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#34
Maybe there should just be an official thread of all things stolen table related
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Of course I don't wanna go in the woods. There's bears in there.


Quote by Deliriumbassist
Jeff Ament is a sexy sexy beast.



Quote by Karvid
Yes. Chest hair = automatic awesome. Even if you're a woman.
#36
Quote by pak1351
the i stole a table thread got shut down already

yah, i made it. but i had to close it right away because i got reported. lol. oh well
#37
Quote by kevC4
Funny troll isn't funny anymore.

Srs cat isn't srs anymore?
#38
1. Look at the table
2. Get a hammer
3. Masturbate
4. ???
5. PROFIT!!!
life is beautifuuuuooooaaaaaal
#39
Quote by SonataFanica
1. Look at the table
2. Get a hammer
3. Masturbate
4. ???
5. PROFIT!!!

Epic fail.
#40
Quote by MVP0079
Srs cat isn't srs anymore?


Srs cat cannot be not srs

Funny troll can be not funny
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