#1
Blah blah blah

Sept 18 Massively updated. It's gone from a 3 minute song to a 6 minute song. I'm still trying to work out a solution to the last few sections of the song, I'm only starting to appreciate how difficult it is to go into and back out of a swing section.

Anyway, even if you've listened to this before, please listen again
Also, this has been mixed specifically for RSE so if you've got GP5, make sure RSE is on. I haven't taken the time to properly mix it for midi, but I will when I finish it.

Sept 2 Been a long time since I updated this one. Haven't had nearly enough free time to work on this. Mostly been working on writing tunes with my band, but I won't bother posting any of those since they're more lyric based than guitar based, and as such are boring in GP format.

Anyway the first half of the song is done. Second half is not. The transitions in the second half are still totally incomplete. I may have to get rid of the triplet feel part, it's just not working out. I think I might actually write a song based on that part when I get a chance, as it's possibly the best part I've written to date. We'll see.
Attachments:
meta.zip
Last edited by icronic at Sep 19, 2008,
#2
I think its BADASS! Seriously, I didn't hear anything wrong with it. When you're finished, you have to record it because I want to hear it on actual instruments!
#3
I have to say I found nothing wrong with this piece of art. The bass, I felt was lacking throughout the song but I found nothing wrong with the harmonies. I actually enjoyed it.
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#4
^The bass was lacking? I thought the bass was great. You should turn it up to 16 to give the song a more full sound, however.

I honestly couldn't find one thing wrong with this piece. Your transitions were a little rough in some spots. Specifically at bar 81. But other than that, I though it was really good. Very unique writing style you have here.

I specifically enjoyed the acoustic section near the end. That was quality, especially the acoustic solo.

Sorry I couldn't find much for you to improve, but there really isn't, in my opinion. I'd give it a 9/10 right now.

If you could give me a crit, that would be cool. The bottom one in my sig would be nice.
I'm a person.
#5
New version with new section is up.

I should mention that the acoustic part is definitely going to be the outro, but there will be sections added before and after the triplet groove part, so the transitions in and out of it are temporary.

This song is turning into some good fun, although I have trouble not breaking out into laughter at some of the stuff I've put in. I almost think that eventually I might break this one down into a few different and more structured songs.
#7
Overall, this was an excellent piece and I enjoyed it immensely. My only gripe is the clunkiness of a few transitions, particularly the one into the acoustic section. To me, it seemed like everything just kind of dropped and a different song started playing.
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#8
Quote by DaddyTwoFoot
Overall, this was an excellent piece and I enjoyed it immensely. My only gripe is the clunkiness of a few transitions, particularly the one into the acoustic section. To me, it seemed like everything just kind of dropped and a different song started playing.


Yeah, that part of the song is totally unfinished. I'm still kind of piecing things together, but the transition into both the groove thing and the acoustic outro will be completely different than they currently are.

I'm just kind of writing parts as I go, and fitting them in where they sound best.

Although honestly, I'm amazed this song works at all, there are constant key changes across so far 5 ( I think? ) different keys.
#9
Whoa. Cool opening riff. Sets the tone of being a bad-ass song real nice, and a nice hook, too . The "Mysterious" part was really beautiful, too. The "We Feel Funky" part sounded like a Satch moment. Niiice.

Meh, the epic build up part was lacking, but then again you're not done with it, right?

Everything past 81 were great on their own, but as a whole was pretty chaotic lol.

What, it's over already? I thought this would've lasted forever . I wish it had, it was just so damn cool . The only thing I dislike, no, rather, despise is the fact that it is so awesome and I'm never going to be able to write something like this /envy . Srsly, if this was in a record, I'll buy it without thinking a second time.

Btw, thanks for volunteering to be a judge for the rock comp!
#10
Here are my running thoughts as I listen to this the first time:
I dig the intro
The end of But, we ain't feels empty
Epic build up part had a distracting high hat part, maybe keep it more pulsating idk
Massive had a akward Crash Cymbol 2
The change between Massive and Groovy was off in my opinion
The change between Groovy and Acoustic Outro needs something to tie the two togeather.
-close

Ok for the song in review after listening a few more times:
This is a great song, there is so much going on throughout the piece and the many different styles all put togeather = awsome. Congrats on this piece.

The transistions were the only thing that really bothered me. You get the idea the whole time its just that they loose momentum and feel empty in places. I realize that this is in part due to GP5's lack of being a real player but. . . .

Melody wise this thing was sweet. You had crazy changes but kept a feel. There is never a change so diverse that the flow is cut.

Thanks for letting us listen.

-Ryan
#11
Nice lead guitar I must say, I think th lead guitar gives the song the right feeling, without it, the song wouldn't sound right. I like this, I would like to here it as an instrumental recording. I love the acoustic outro. This seems pretty good, nothing needs to be changed.

-Gulli

Ps. Thanks for the critiq on my symphonic metal intro/verse
#12
Thanks for all the crits guys, I never expected to get so much positive feedback on this one. Actually when I first posted the song earlier this week, I didn't really like it all that much, but damn if it hasn't grown on me. It's still been hell to write though, especially that brief 7/4 part. I still want to re-write a good portion of that solo, it bothers me that I keep landing on the D.

Anyway, I just uploaded a new segment, which basically doubles the length of the groove part. I love the groove part. I'm tempted to make it into it's own song as well. I will say though, it's a real bitch to transition into and out of that swing feel I've got going. On the bright side I've now shifted the song back into the proper key for the outro to take place!

Quote by Gulli05
Nice lead guitar I must say, I think th lead guitar gives the song the right feeling, without it, the song wouldn't sound right. I like this, I would like to here it as an instrumental recording. I love the acoustic outro. This seems pretty good, nothing needs to be changed.


It's all about the lead guitar I'm a huge fan of all those instrumental guitarists, so pretty much all the songs I write are focused on the lead guitar. Of course with that said, the song wouldn't work without the rhythm guitar either, because really that's what sets the tone and sound for the lead to follow.
#13
This was pretty cool. The harmony leads were nice, although I think they were a bit too overbearing in the mix. The drums were kind of lackluster, but not enough to bring the song down much. The acoustic outro was just plain sweet, though. Good job on that.

The only real complaint I had was that there didn't really seem to be a high point - it all just seemed to flow along merrily without actually going anywhere. Not a bad thing, really, as most of the sections were enjoyable in themselves and they flowed together without clashing. I know you said it's still a work in progress, but the buildup didn't really build up itself or build up to much of a section.

This is a good song. It still needs some work, obviously, but good nonetheless.
#14
Apart from the drums this piece is nice.
I like the moodswing and most of the lead was pretty imaginative with nice harmonies popping up everwhere.
The whole peice has a good flow and the outro was a good choice.
If you dont mind ive gt a new peice that could do with some crit, i doubt its your cup of tea but any oppinion is good.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=937465
cheers.
Watch out for FLOODS exploding onto the UK Deathcore scene this summer.
Last edited by Incubus_Rage_27 at Aug 17, 2008,
#15
blew my mind out!

I liked the mood swings in there, and the "A broom might be handy" section lol
harmonies where great, no complaints.
but you kinda loosed me at the epic build up and the massive parts, (although well done) I just didn't feel it should be part of the song. And The outro could be better (sorry to say, but by what I've heard I know you can do better for the outro )

amazing song, I ejoyed listening to it!
#16
I loved the harmonies especially in the "Mysterious" and "Tra-la-la' parts

I don't know how you did it but all the parts blended well together

Great song
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Last edited by mathieupM13 at Aug 20, 2008,
#17
great song, only part I don;t like is the epic buildup
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#18
Ok, lets start, nice Intro riff, sets the mood for the rest of the song. The lead wasn´t so nice to my ears, there were kinda too many notes so it sounded a bit strange. I´m not too fond on the drums of this and the mysterious section, they kinda sounded.. off? They seemed to kill the groove. Happy section was nice, but why is there an acoustic guitar in the mood swing? It seems like it doesn´t belong there. The solo didn´t sound right to my ears, but I see you have a strong Vai/Satch influence in your playing? T´his and the next 2 parts sounded like they were made by them. Great Tralala Part, nothing wrong, maybe the best part of the song combined with the A Broom might come in handy part. Now this song kinda dies for me, The Build up and the Massive part kinda don´t belong there, they just seemed... odd. The grooving part seemed even more odd after the Massive part. Kinda doesn´t fit in there. But the outro solo is great! really nice work, although the ending kinda surprised me. It ended so quick. Maybe put some more bars in there and work on the transitions and harmonies. Not everything has to be harmonised, sometimes less is more. but for now, 8/10 for not being completed.
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#19
Epic and Massive sections are gone. They were neither epic or massive, nor did they work in the context of the song. As cool as I think the idea was, I never much liked it, and it's pretty obvious nobody else did either. So... Gone. It now goes from the Sweeping part directly to the groove thing. I think I want to put something else between them. The transition works a hell of a lot better than it did before, but going from a straight rhythm to a swing thing like that still feels weird.

Got another section to work in, which hopefully should be up late today or tomorrow sometime.

Thanks again for all the crits.
#20
I need to get to bed now so I can't crit this now. but I'll update this with a crit tomorrow.

Edit: put off sleeping for you

but anyways, awesome song. great diversity in sound. great transitions. great flow. great instrumentation. It was all around solid. I wish I could give you more to work with but nothing really jumped out at me that was "bad."
the one thing I did notice was that I didn't feel much intensity in this song. I don't know why but it just didn't get my blood pumping.
other than that, great work. I really enjoyed listening to this.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


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Last edited by Its_Rock77 at Sep 2, 2008,
#21
Love the new Version, you improved it very much. I only have few bits to crit now:

I don´t like the way you phrased the second part of the intro solo and the sections until the mood swing, I don´t know, the straight 8th´s sound a bit... awkard, I can´t really describe it. Maybe rewrite the lead for that part? Love the middle eastern feel in the Phyrdge part, tho kinda makes me think of Satch, for unknown reasons . You might want to give the "groovy" part a more jazzy feel, maybe try some triols on the drums without putting the snare on every 2 and 4 in the song. But this has improved very nice A good 9.5/10

Edit: I´m kinda ashamed of my crit being so little in comparation to yours
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

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please check out my own album:
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Last edited by Madzää at Sep 19, 2008,
#22
Awesome! The rhythm was great, and it drew me into the song right away. The Phrydge was very nice, and I loved Clean that funk outta your pockets. I guess the only part that threw me off were the triplets in Figure skating with gyspies. Great job, keep up the good work. 9.5/10

Thanks again for the advice, I changed quite a few things around.
Last edited by Melodic_Rocker at Sep 20, 2008,