#1
Well hey everyone. I have had this in my head for quite some time, I wrote it down a few months ago... I look at it every day and I still can't figure any direction to go at all. I'm open to ANYTHING, any advice, any help.

I'm partial to jazz/metal/rock, if that helps.

Of course, crit for crit.
Attachments:
new song 78.zip
4/4 is just so boring. <_<
#2
That was awesome! Had me from bar one.

As for bar 5's drums, I am stealing that idea, that's a great way to tab sorta fill... I feel stupid for never having thought of it myself. Simple solo, but it really gets the job done.

The 5/4 part just flows to beautifully well, and the drums under it are very well done.
(I always struggle writing drums.)

The way the tom fill in bar 25 gradually increases in speed makes this piece go into the next riff really well... and it's a great riff.

The last four bars are tip top. You've got the drums in 7/4 instead of laying a 4/4 under it (which I'm always a fan of, it's not done enough) and when the octave part comes in, it creates a great sense of rhythm.

My advice on how to continue it? Uhm... could make that last bar 8/4 instead of 7/4, and stick a d and a b on the end of the bar and then have a MASSIVE chord, and see where that takes you? I'm a fan of massive chords.

Yeah, sorry I couldn't give much advice, but I do like the piece so far - remind me to check it out again when there's a bit more to it =)

As for crit for crit, you could check out https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=903530 ...it's a bit long, mind you...

Cheers,

Rob
#4
Really great start. I love what you did in the opening with the drums.

Intro solo is very cool too, you tabbed it weird, which inspired me to grab my slide bar and play along with it like that. If you ever record this. Use a slide bar for that solo, it sounds very cool

The bridge and the buildup were perfect.

What to do next? Well to me that feels like it would be a really natural place to start a verse. The bridge also feels like it's pushing towards a more straight rhythm (8/4 4/4 6/4 or something of the like) combined with a riff based off the bridge riff. Either something really huge and chuggy sounding, or something fast, maybe just shift the bridge riff to 8/4 and then fill in the gaps with 16th notes on the low E.

Maybe then end the verse with a "MASSIVE" chord, and drop back into 7/4 and use that to build into a chorus or something.

Links are in my sig if you want to c4c
#5
Heh, thanks for the input. I like the feedback, I critted back, as always.

Any more ideas, C4C?
4/4 is just so boring. <_<
#6
This is fanatasic so far, something new and different, I really like it!

On how to improve and continue it this is my advice. First off, the transition at 25 is great and I love the chord at 24, but I would change the drums at 25, instead of having straight quarter notes of toms and cymbal ride, change up the rhythm a bit, for instance having the last two beats be sixteenth notes and changing what drum is playing at each note instead of it always being a tom.

The leet section and leet bridge is great haha. How I would progress it would be maybe then introduce a melody with on of the guitars and have another playing a variant of the riff before under it, and have that go on a few measures, maybe change up the harmony a bit and have the melody follow it. Then you could maybe, if you want to introduce a jazzy side to it, have some jazz chords and progression in a clean guitar tone in one of the guitars, and have another melody on top of that.

Then you could transition that to something else and go back to the other melody, maybe repeat that whole thing another time then go on to something different. I'm not going to write the song for you haha, but remember everytime you repeat a section always change up the harmony or change the rhythm of the melody. And what you could do is have a development section in the middle that introduces some of the melodies beforehand as a harmony and have another melody on time, I like doing that haha.

Overall though very good, I really like it! Crit mine? Its in the sig.
#7
hey thanks for the awesome crit man, I'll definitely crit you back tomorrow, but it's 5:40 in the morning where I am, i gotta get some rest.

That thing about the jazz chords... I liked that, and I liked Ch715's idea, huge chuggy part. From his icon, I can tell he likes BTBAM, and that's one thing we have in common. A huge chuggy part followed by some nice jazz chords with maybe a slide solo or bass solo coughVIRIDIANcough XD

Keep the comments comin please, i'll crit you guys back.
4/4 is just so boring. <_<