#1
frail black paint covers the sky today,
clenching my fists and teeth this is not the way,
orange stains are cleaned with bleach,
to hide away the truth,
that this lovely world is as dirty as you,

so did it take you long to pull the trigger,
and cast these webs of lies on me,
i've pulled my skin far back to please the martyr,
but do you care if i'm blind,
do you care if i'm.......

i've picked the pieces to unwind your puzzle,
and glued the wrong piece in line,
i've felt the tears that you wish you could cry,
but instead they were mine,
so i loaded my only weapon,
that i could use your so divine,
i've found my only habbit,
is not to leave behind a crime,

so did it take you long to pull the trigger,
and cast these webs of lies on me,
i've pulled my skin far back to please the martyr,
but do you care if i'm blind,
do you care if i'm.......

i wish i could of done something sooner,
so this crow don't have flight,
i wish i could of been more together,
but you've burnt me of pride,
yeah you've robbed me of pride
#2
Man, I'm not really good at crit **** but this was ****ing prog and complex to me, really good
My favorite band is Tool.


Quote by dio_dude
despite the funny name, unknownpunkrock is the coolest 08'er.

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#3
Quote by lambofgodfold
frail black paint covers the sky today,
clenching my fists and teeth this is not the way,
orange stains are cleaned with bleach,
to hide away the truth,
that this lovely world is as dirty as you,

so did it take you long to pull the trigger,
This one line just bugs me for some reason, doesnt seem to go right.

and cast these webs of lies on me,
i've pulled my skin far back to please the martyr,
but do you care if i'm blind,
do you care if i'm.......

i've picked the pieces to unwind your puzzle,
and glued the wrong piece in line,
i've felt the tears that you wish you could cry,
but instead they were mine,
so i loaded my only weapon,
that i could use your so divine,

i've found my only habbit,
is not to leave behind a crime,
Also this part, namely, the second line, doesnt feel to flow right.

so did it take you long to pull the trigger,
and cast these webs of lies on me,
i've pulled my skin far back to please the martyr,
but do you care if i'm blind,
do you care if i'm.......

i wish i could of done something sooner,
so this crow don't have flight,
i wish i could of been more together,
but you've burnt me of pride,
yeah you've robbed me of pride


Other then that Its rather good.
#4
thanks for the crits guys i just wanted to write something alittle dark and describe what i'm going through i really enjoy this piece though