#1
I'm not all that creative. So basically a kind of Linkin Park thing goin on here I have pretty much no idea what the **** I'm doing but I figured you guys could crit as well as help me.

It's rather dark, rather light
Maybe I'll find myself tonight
In this empty bar I reach out far
and someone grabs my hand

I'm thinking "thank you" but instead I scream

Why'd you do that to me
Just let me fall, my life is over
That is all when I'm dead everyone can have a ball
Like they've always wanted to
What the **** does my life matter to you?

And they replied

It matters a whole hell of a lot
A life like yours cannot be bought
___________________________

I know it's tough to follow but I hope you get where I'm going with this and you can help me with the rest of the song.
#2
i wanna ridicule it but it sounds fine. Maybe a little longer. Add something like, people trying to help but you take it the wrong way, then when your at the verge of snapping and doing something crazy they reassure you that they meant it in a positive way. I think I follow, but im not completely sure where you wanna go with this.
#3
Quote by Aussieloco

It's rather dark, rather light
Maybe I'll find myself tonight
In this empty bar I reach out far
and someone grabs my hand

I'm thinking "thank you" but instead I scream

Why'd you do that to me
Just let me fall, my life is over
That is all when I'm dead everyone can have a ball
Like they've always wanted to
What the **** does my life matter to you?

And they replied

It matters a whole hell of a lot
A life like yours cannot be bought


It is a little tough to follow but it has a decent flow. I'd try and fix the rhyme scheme a little though to help the flow a bit more. You don't really seem to have any definite set rhyme scheme set up. However, many songs work without one so I guess it's really up to you, if you can sing it, or get someone to sing it well.

The word choice was fine, but some stuff like "Everyone can have a ball" seems a little cliche. Also, "And they replied" doesn't seem to fit in well. Maybe "And they told me" or "And they said". Something like that maybe? But once again I can't really tell how it will sound from just reading it.

So is this song about being stopped from suicide by a friend or something along the lines of that?

An alright song, and it has potential.

C4C? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=934741
Quote by Shredder XXX
how about the way your entire country generalizes a culture by the actions of a few, citing any Americans idea of a middle eastern person.