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#3
i used to work in a grocery store...
one day this rather large woman stepped on a grape that was lying on the floor, and fell. before anyone helped her up, we had to call the store manager, who took about 20 minutes to get there, all the while she's laying on the ground helplessly. once he arrives he has forms asking her to sign so she cannot sue us
Living is easy with eyes closed...
--------------------------

Quote by GnR_ROK
I'm surprised you returned to this thread after cheeseman owned you.
#4
so i was buying munchies.. you know.. and then when i was going to pay didnt have money in my creditr card. sucks but was funny.
it sucks harder when the girl atending was hot :S
me and my frends just laughed
#5
I was waiting in the foyer with some friends, i wasn't looking and the alarms that catches people who didn't scan their food went off. So i shouted "RUN!!". Turned around and it was somebody in a wheelchair.
#6
Quote by Nautkyn
so i was buying munchies.. you know.. and then when i was going to pay didnt have money in my creditr card. sucks but was funny.
it sucks harder when the girl atending was hot :S
me and my frends just laughed

credit card for muncies!?!
i was at tim horton's for a similar reason only to find out they don't take debit >.<
Living is easy with eyes closed...
--------------------------

Quote by GnR_ROK
I'm surprised you returned to this thread after cheeseman owned you.
#7
When the self checkout first came oput, everyone form my school would just scan stuff and walk out without paying ( basically stealing ) then one dumbass had the idea to get a new TV, so he lugged this massive tv to the checkout with all the staff watching scanned it, then proceeded to walk out, only to be stopped what has to have been the henchest man to come out of Nigeria.
Quote by Malakian88
Oh my bloody god. Imagine if you were a girl and you woke up to find your little brother's friend standing over you with his erect penis on your breasts...


Indeed.
#8
i work in a generic chain supermarket and grape fights can be pretty amusing, but they rarely happen on shop floor.
Quote by slayaplaya

(oh! maybe some one will sig that witty comment! maybe not...)
#9
A couple days ago I was in the supermarket and this little kid is screaming like "

"MOMMY I WANT THESE COOKIES MOMMY LET ME GET THEM"

and the mom is like "No, if you only ate cookies you'd never be able to grow big and strong"

Just then i walk up and go "Man I love cookies! I eat them every day" (I'm 6'4)

then walk off with like two boxes of them.

I thought the mom was gonna kick my ass.
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#10
Quote by Friggly
A couple days ago I was in the supermarket and this little kid is screaming like "

"MOMMY I WANT THESE COOKIES MOMMY LET ME GET THEM"

and the mom is like "No, if you only ate cookies you'd never be able to grow big and strong"

Just then i walk up and go "Man I love cookies! I eat them every day" (I'm 6'4)

then walk off with like two boxes of them.

I thought the mom was gonna kick my ass.

haha

ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#11
One time there was this guy with a ton of groceries to bring to his car, but I guess he didn't want to bring the cart out because he put them all in a big basket and was holding it with both hands. Anyway, he seemed to be under the impression that this big glass door was an automatic door, so he walked pretty fast straight into it and fell over, dropping everything in has basket all over the floor! I was too busy laughing at him to actually help him get all his crap together haha.
I've had Alzheimer's Disease for as long as I can remember.

Quote by damian_91
Pleasure2kill, you are a genius!
#12
Quote by Friggly
A couple days ago I was in the supermarket and this little kid is screaming like "

"MOMMY I WANT THESE COOKIES MOMMY LET ME GET THEM"

and the mom is like "No, if you only ate cookies you'd never be able to grow big and strong"

Just then i walk up and go "Man I love cookies! I eat them every day" (I'm 6'4)

then walk off with like two boxes of them.

I thought the mom was gonna kick my ass.

Unless she is part giraffe, I really doubt she could.

My best memory of my job is when my store manager used to leave his water bottle tucked in the back of one of the coolers on the floor. Me and a coworker watched him put it there one day, and this sparked my coworkers imagination.
The next day, he put a bunch of vinegar in the boss' water bottle. After watching the manager walk around for 2 hours with bottle in hand before he actually took a drink.
It was priceless when he did He spat it all over the floor and started screaming.
#13
One time on Halloween, me and about 6 of my friends dressed up in monk robes, pulled the hoods up to cover our faces, and then slowly marched in a single file line all over this little organic food market saying some gibberish chants. We got some frightened looks, needless to say.
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#14
this lady was trying to buy a lottery ticket, so i asked her if she had some ID to prove she was old enough to buy the ticket (even though she liked to be about 30). She took it as a huge compliment and asked me if i was single. I said yes, even though I'm not.

We've been banging for 2 months now.
#15
Quote by metalman9
this lady was trying to buy a lottery ticket, so i asked her if she had some ID to prove she was old enough to buy the ticket (even though she liked to be about 30). She took it as a huge compliment and asked me if i was single. I said yes, even though I'm not.

We've been banging for 2 months now.


Pics or it never happened.
#16
Went to Walmart with a friend, he noticed that an LED car light was labeled .400 instead of 4.00 for four dollars.

Went to the checkout, argued it...Got them for .80 cents instead of 8 dollars. =D
#17
It was gonna be my first time at church, so i had my friends help me rehearse for what to do along the frozen foods aisle.
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#18
I wasn't there but on my dad's rugby tour (mostly 40-60 year olds), 2 of them were in a supermarket, then one of them randomly put on his ipod on his portable dock thing, the danced around the shop for one song, put it all away and walked out.
#19
Quote by metalman9
this lady was trying to buy a lottery ticket, so i asked her if she had some ID to prove she was old enough to buy the ticket (even though she liked to be about 30). She took it as a huge compliment and asked me if i was single. I said yes, even though I'm not.

We've been banging for 2 months now.


niiiiicccccceeeeeee.........
#20
Curly wurly fight.

I served some guy from Britain's got talent, the one who did AWFUL political impressions.
"Breathe, breathe in the air
Don't be afraid to care"

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#21
It's always funny when old people fart and just walk off, but then I am immature like that.
#22
I went into Tesco's to buy my weekly shopping and I had alot of time to fill before meeting my mate so I filled a basket full of food, went to the till and after she'd scanned all the stuff I started claiming all the items were of poor quality and not to the standard I expect so I demanded all items be replaced by one's that hadn't been on the shelf. I couldn't believe she actually did it.

Don't think I'll be going back there again.
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He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
#23
I heard some guy fart which was hilarious. One time at a grocery store somebody went to get a can of something and the entire rack fell over.....and he walked away. I lol'd
#24
Me and my Friend pretty much re-enacted Metal Gear Solid 1 in Iceland in Stoke, we were getting some food and booze but we were dicking about a bit with some MGS impressions and stuff. . .he ended up dropping his key in a freezer and saying "First, you have to freeze the key"
#26
Quote by Randomnossity
It's always funny when old people fart and just walk off, but then I am immature like that.


i love doing that in public places
#27
Some woman in her late 20s or early 30s crapped herself in the express line.

She was pretty hot, I might add.
#29
I ran into some lady and her kids cart on accident and I guess it broke her soda cans because soda started shooting out all over this kids head ( he was about 3) funniest thing I saw that day.
Oct. 20th, 2009: New guitar AND front row for Mars Volta.

Quote by denizenz
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#30
i saw this in a horribly funny dance movie last night, Stepup2.

u walk into a convenient store with a couple people and everyone is walking around buying things and one goes up to the cashier and everyone stops.

found it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCVacg9_cBQ


but from my experience, my friends and i were in Walmart late at night and this woman threw a quarter at my friend and walked in front of him, grinded him and picked it up, lets just say she was plus sized. she just walked away tho, he was so embarassed.
#31
Quote by soccermom
When the self checkout first came oput, everyone form my school would just scan stuff and walk out without paying ( basically stealing ) then one dumbass had the idea to get a new TV, so he lugged this massive tv to the checkout with all the staff watching scanned it, then proceeded to walk out, only to be stopped what has to have been the henchest man to come out of Nigeria.




*Imagines*




One time me and my friend were ridiculously pissed/stoned and this was the night the final Harry Potter book came out, so we walked the 3 miles to get to Tesco at midnight. We were quite early and literally falling over. We were the oldest there everyone else was like 7 with wizard hats and me and my friend were rolling round on the floor laughing in Tesco.

He was shouting "WHAT THE **** THESE KIDS ARE HARRY POTTER WHY ARE THERE WIZARDS EVERYWHERE, IS THIS HOGWARTS?"

He spent about 5 minutes holding up the queue to the HP books becayse every book he picked up he was saying "They're looking at me funny, they;re looking at me funny" Good ****ing times.

Next morning we had to get up at 5 because we were going to Cornwall on holiday together.

Awesome.

RMF


I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
#32
i once broke a hanging scale in a supermarket. you know the ones im talking about. i used to like to pull down on them and watch the gauge go around. one time i did it and it just came down in 3 pieces. my dad was super cool about it though. this was when i was about nine, and after that i never messed with the hanging scales at the supermarket.
#33
One time me and my friends put up these signs around school saying stuff like "CRAZY PARTY AT WALMART-PRUDUCE ISLE"...and the adress and stuff and we went there and there were all these stupid looking kids standing around looking like idiots...

by the way we lived in alabama with a bunch of hicks and nothing better to do
#34
Quote by Guitarfreak217
One time me and my friends put up these signs around school saying stuff like "CRAZY PARTY AT WALMART-PRUDUCE ISLE"...and the adress and stuff and we went there and there were all these stupid looking kids standing around looking like idiots...

by the way we lived in alabama with a bunch of hicks and nothing better to do

Imagine the look on their faces when they figured out that the walmart isn't near a body of water
#35
It's always fun to fill other peoples trollies with stuff and when they return to see there reaction, works best with tiny things, but expensive, so they don't realise until they pay .
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#36
I was riding an old lady motorized cart and ran into a display of pies which in turn exploded everywhere and I proceded to ride off like nothing happened
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Apperently thats called rape Who knew?
#38
I worked at a super market with my friend. We decided to play baseball with an empty box and some rotten peppers.

You can imagine the mess we made.
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#39
Quote by Friggly
A couple days ago I was in the supermarket and this little kid is screaming like "

"MOMMY I WANT THESE COOKIES MOMMY LET ME GET THEM"

and the mom is like "No, if you only ate cookies you'd never be able to grow big and strong"

Just then i walk up and go "Man I love cookies! I eat them every day" (I'm 6'4)

then walk off with like two boxes of them.

I thought the mom was gonna kick my ass.


win.
you sir. are my hero
#40
I saw this woman dancing to the music they play at the supermarket as she shopped. Like, dancing while pushing the cart and reading the labels of items. It wasn't like she was moving just a bit, she was really enjoying herself. The thing is, I saw her there a month later doing the same thing. I don't even work there.
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