#1
I just posted a recorded version of this in my profile. Additionally a little history of this song is posted in a blog of the same name. Anyway;


Experience talked to innocence and innocence pushed it away
I’ve made it this far without you, I’m just having a bad day
Experience hopped in the back seat just to go for the ride
And just before they hit the wall, Innocence cried

Boo Hoo Hoooooo
Boo Hoo Hoooooo

Innocence went to the mountain and the mountain pushed it away
You got some growin up to do boy, come back some day
Innocence protested this and started to climb
And just before it hit the ground, Innocence cried

Boo Hoo Hooooo
Boo Hoo Hooooo

Innocence went to the Altar and the altar pushed it away
You ain’t got no business here, for what would you pray
Innocence dropped to it’s knees just to give it a try
And just before it went to hell, Innocence cried

Boo Hoo Hooooo
Boo Hoo Hooooo
#2
Haha I liked this piece. It was amusing . I dont really have much to crit here because it's fine the way it is all I could think of was maybe going over the piece and taking out some words...but I mean that wouldnt really affect the overall piece much. I liked the ending it made me laugh. Infact the last verse was probably my favourite. I also liked the 'pushed it away/what would you pray' rhyming. It was good the way you used some cliches to make them sound not cliche at all...mainly the day/away rhyme. The way innocence was doing the pushing in the first verse, then being pushed around also worked well.
It's a good piece.