This is not really my cup of tea, but I'll try my best to give you as much constructive criticism as possible. The first thing I'd like to say is that the recording quality is very good, and that everything blends together really well. The only complaint I have is the constant hi-hat (I believe that is a hi-hat), because it sounds very boring. I really like the dual vocals though, they sound great together.

Unfortunately, this sounds fairly generic and therefore it ends up boring me. When writing music take into consideration the attention span of your target audience - try to ensure that the average listener will be able to listen to your songs without droning out completely.

If you've got some spare time listen to a couple of my tacks and let me know what you think. http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=914968