#1
This song was written pretty quickly, with minor changes later on.
Some parts of it seem forced to me, even though they originally weren't. So help there would be appreciated! And the patterns off at some places, so any advice on just cleaning the whole thing up would be nice


Escape the Void- His Playground :

Unremembered, but terrible dreams haunt his sleep
Wakes up sweat drenched, covered in blood
Sees a blade lying next to him,
Smiles, walks to the drawer
Takes out a toy and runs to the basement

Shuts the door, strikes a match
To light a candle,
Sits, absent mindedly opens the chamber
And pushes in one bullet
Spins the chamber and snaps it shut
Death seems to amuse him

Stares at the flame of the wick till his eyes begin to water,
Puts the gun to his temple
The cold steel sends a shiver down his spine
And before he knows, he pulls it
Click…
He smiles, one down, 5 to go.

Anything that has a beginning has an end
Playing Russian roulette with himself appeals to him
Thinks about death embracing him
As he pulls the trigger again
Click…
He smiles, 2 down, 4 to go

He gazes at his shadow,
Cast by the candle on the basement wall
Watches it dance as the flame flickers
And the dark fingers seem to pull the trigger on their own
Click…
He smiles, 3 down, 3 more to go

He savours the glory of being able to kill himself
Hoping that this would not be it,
That he would be able to enjoy it a little longer
He pulls the trigger,
Click…
4 down, 2 more to go

A buzz fills the inside of his head
Puts the gun down and walks to the corner,
To find a stash of weed
Smokes it all, tries to drown out the buzz in a high
It persists like a cyst

Undaunted and determined, he walks back
Takes the gun and pulls the hammer back
Leaves his fingers limp
Click…
5 down, 1 to go

As death seems inevitable now
He pulls out a cigarette and takes his last drag
Blows out the candle, and the glow of the cigarette lights up the floor
He smiles, as death calls out to him
He wraps his lips around the barrel and pulls
Click…

The game of life has just ended, and the dice have won.
#2
Dude, that sounds like something Metallica would have done. The deep, disturbing lyrics would sound good with some driving distorted guitar sounds, like enter sandman or master of puppets.

Keep writing, dude.
Bobtoast2

Buttery Goodness is all right here