#1
Updated: 18/08/2008

I love when people show their Symphonic Metal pieces here and I though I let you guys see a piece I am working on for my band. The Name is just some messing around and stuff.

I would like some comments and critics.
But still don't beat me down in the ground and leave me all broken.


Little about me and my musical style:
I am 16 year old, starting a symphonic metal band and I play guitar. I am influenced by artists such as Rhapsody of Fire, Iron Maiden, Epica, Nightwish, Harry Gregson-Williams, etc.

Hope you like this and remember it is a work in progress.


-Gulli05

Edit: There was a misunderstanding, the drummer put gave me diffrent beats to choose from so I though he had finished it and was gonna use the drumming that was before, new file has been uploaded, please take a look.
Attachments:
Track II - Rise of the Dark Angel.zip
Last edited by Gulli05 at Aug 18, 2008,
#2
Well it's a great start.

The timing is really weird though, while the drums are putting out a constant beat, it feels like beat for the guitars is shifting around. It's not really a bad thing right now, but it could be if you do the whole thing like that.

If you want to check my stuff out it's linked in my sig.
#3
Mmmmm, imo it's a bit messy. Cool stuff, though, but you need to clean it up a bit. Idk, the two guitars and the strings just seemed to clash. Also, I agree with icronic, the way you did the timing makes the rhythm odd. Triplet over fourth or eight could be cool at times, but as an intro it just makes the listener confused . Anyway, this has potential, you know. Just build around it, expand on it, etc etc, and this could be a cool song .

Anyway, mind checking mine out? I know it's an unfair crit, but I promise to crit this when it's completed if you crit mine . https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=885471
#4
Guys, sorry there was a wrong file at first, it wasn't fully complete, It's been edited now, there are two guitar cause we are two, playing guitar, in the band And I don't do the drums, my drummer makes 'em. Please take another look?

Thanks for the advice guys
#5
I really like the strings but I am not sure about the intro guitar. The verses are neat and simple. Sometimes simple is good and I like this song. Will check once you get more done.

If you don't mind check the attachment in third post
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=934862
#6
Now, that's better, with the triplet and whatnot in the drum . A suggestion: in latter parts, as in bridge or something, when you're playing the riff again, let the drum play in eight, it'll give off a nice contrast . Btw, I love the Riff A (again) part . Only thing now that I can say is, you need to expand more around the intro. If I hear symphonic, I would think common practice era-inspired piece, regardless of being metal or rock or whatever; i.e. symphony as in the form, not the bastardized word meaning using orchestra.

So, yeah, imo you need to expand on the intro a bit more; it'll help you in the long run. It'll set the mood for the listener, and they'll be more prepared on what's to come; it'll feel more "logical" for them. It'll also hook the listener, and imo it'll make them enjoy the piece a lot more. Well, that's just my opinion, though. Btw, the high notes triplet in the string is still bothering me . Anyway, still interested to hear when it's done.

Oh, thanks for the crit on mine . I, too, would love to hear it recorded lol. But I want to use real orchestra backing. Perhaps later when I've successfully trick convince my school ensemble to play it . For strings and whatnot, I actually learned them through tedious watching and studying of the works of the greats, especially Mr. Staropoli and Mr. Rudess. If you want tips or anything, you could always PM me .
#7
Quote by FireHawk
I really like the strings but I am not sure about the intro guitar. The verses are neat and simple. Sometimes simple is good and I like this song. Will check once you get more done.

If you don't mind check the attachment in third post
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=934862


Thanks man I agree sometime simple is good. I am glad you like the strings, I have been working and studying how to use strings for quite some times. Again thanks Hopefully this will be finished soon and recorded
#8
The updated version definitely straightens out the rhythmic issues.

I think it's a very abrupt and jarring start though, some kind of fade in, or maybe just add a bar before of a chord being held before you break into that riff.

I do think that the drums need to be altered for those last three bars of the intro where you're just holding that E5 chord. It sounds really off to have the drums continue to play like that when every other instrument stops dead. It'd be a great place to put some kind of drum fill, maybe some fancy cymbal work or whatever.

The verse is decent enough, but the guitars, bass and drums are very very typical of the genre. The keyboards were quite nice, but the one thing you've got to keep in mind is that to really stand out you're going to have break free of those really typical stock sounds of this genre.

Anyway, it's got potential, and I'm certainly interested in seeing how this one progresses.

EDIT: Just to be sure I was clear, I'm not suggesting you change the verse, more suggesting that you should avoid doing that kind of thing for your entire song.
Last edited by icronic at Aug 17, 2008,
#9
Quote by MarchOfEternity
Now, that's better, with the triplet and whatnot in the drum . A suggestion: in latter parts, as in bridge or something, when you're playing the riff again, let the drum play in eight, it'll give off a nice contrast . Btw, I love the Riff A (again) part . Only thing now that I can say is, you need to expand more around the intro. If I hear symphonic, I would think common practice era-inspired piece, regardless of being metal or rock or whatever; i.e. symphony as in the form, not the bastardized word meaning using orchestra.

So, yeah, imo you need to expand on the intro a bit more; it'll help you in the long run. It'll set the mood for the listener, and they'll be more prepared on what's to come; it'll feel more "logical" for them. It'll also hook the listener, and imo it'll make them enjoy the piece a lot more. Well, that's just my opinion, though. Btw, the high notes triplet in the string is still bothering me . Anyway, still interested to hear when it's done.

Oh, thanks for the crit on mine . I, too, would love to hear it recorded lol. But I want to use real orchestra backing. Perhaps later when I've successfully trick convince my school ensemble to play it . For strings and whatnot, I actually learned them through tedious watching and studying of the works of the greats, especially Mr. Staropoli and Mr. Rudess. If you want tips or anything, you could always PM me .


Thank you very much, expand the intro, you mean lenghten it and add more symphonic effects or could you make yourself a bit more clear (I am from Iceland, sorry if I don't understand)?

Btw, you think I should change the drumming in the intro or when i might re-do the intro in middle of the song have an drumming in eight notes?


I myself have been looking at Nightwishes string work for most my strings, also taken a look at Epica and Rhapsody aswell.
But about recording your piece, please start by recording a demo using keyboard and then when you got an whole album you can maybe get an orchestra that is willing to re-record the demo as an album
Last edited by Gulli05 at Aug 17, 2008,
#10
The edit button is there for a reason, y'know .

Mmmmm, I meant that you should lengthen it. What you have now is, to me at least, a complete developed riff. But developed from what? Exactly; nothing . You doesn't need to add anything after it, but rather, before it; an exposition for the main riff, if you will.

Change the drumming in the middle, it'll give a nice contrast and whatever. It'll also kill the repetitiveness (is that even a word?) factor that oh-so-kills many potential pieces in this forum. If you do it in the intro, it'll just confuse your audience .

Oh, btw, nice, a Rhapsody fan!
#11
March of Eternity, thank you for explaining, This is only a part of the song, I will cut and edit it better, give it a nice string intro and maybe some violins and church organ.

Ohh and I hope to see more stuff from you, your work is amazing man


I'll let you know when this is ready... if you want?
#12
UPDATED! 18/08/2008

-New More orchestral intro!
-Better Transistion into the Guitar Riff and new rythm in Riff A
-New Instruments and Effects
-Fixed drumming

Please critiq and Comment Can make a GP4 and Midi if anyone wants.
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
Last edited by Gulli05 at Aug 18, 2008,
#13
Ok, I´ll start right of: great Intro, builded a nice dark athmosphere, but it was kinda let down by the first riff, maybe save the riff up for later in the song, maybe as a bridge, it kinda didn´t fit in there. Build up with a crash cymbal, nothing wrong with that. Verse Riff, nice use of the gallpoing rhythm for the verse. I was kinda confused by the accord changes, they kinda... came unexpected. What, it´s over aldready?? I expected this to be a little longer but no prob. I could imagine a repetition of the verse, just with the snare on the 2 and the 4 of every bar. solid work!

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=937794
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Quote by Lord-O-Donuts
Banned for being the coolest April 08'er on UG.


please check out my own album:
almilano.bandcamp.com
#14
Quote by Madzää
Ok, I´ll start right of: great Intro, builded a nice dark athmosphere, but it was kinda let down by the first riff, maybe save the riff up for later in the song, maybe as a bridge, it kinda didn´t fit in there. Build up with a crash cymbal, nothing wrong with that. Verse Riff, nice use of the gallpoing rhythm for the verse. I was kinda confused by the accord changes, they kinda... came unexpected. What, it´s over aldready?? I expected this to be a little longer but no prob. I could imagine a repetition of the verse, just with the snare on the 2 and the 4 of every bar. solid work!

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=937794


Well, Thanks, I was really worried when I built the intro I would destroy what I had in the song, but I succeded making it good

It seems people have diffrent ideas about the Intro to Riff A. One friend gave me the critiq of that it was "Awesome". I'll see what I do about it, this is only the starting of the song and might change a lot in the end.

About the verse, I kinda like having something unexpecting.

As title says, Work in Progress. Please check it out when it has more stuff aos complete

Thanks for the critiq. I will critiq yours as promised by C4C
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
#15
The beggining with the brass and timpani sounds sweet.

When all the other instruments come in, the strings and guitar sound AWESOME. But for some reason the drums just don't match at ALL. You might want to work on that a bit. Plus the 3 bar phrases sound wierd.

Bar 24 is a little better but it still sounds kind of funky.

The section at 39 is really good, it would make a sweet verse or something.

Anyway, so far it's pretty good. Just work on the drums/guitar matching. 8.5/10.
I'm a person.
#16
Thanks for the Comment. I am glad you like the intro.

The thing about the drumming some people say it is cool others say it doesn't fit so I don't know. I think my band's drummer did a great job on bar 16-23, I find it amazingly good and fitting in there.
I don't know what is so funky about 24, I don't hear it, it sounds more of a "Rhapsody of Fire" riff to me.

The Verse itself starts at 33 and ends after 41.

Thanks for the comment and I am pretty glad with the rating you gave 8,5/10 sounds pretty good to me
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
#17
Wow, this is awesome, dude! The intro is really epic, and I love the way the rest of the song kind of sounds confusing, in a good way. Not really much more to say, and nothing to complain about, waiting to hear more of this!

9/10!
#18
Quote by Dores
Wow, this is awesome, dude! The intro is really epic, and I love the way the rest of the song kind of sounds confusing, in a good way. Not really much more to say, and nothing to complain about, waiting to hear more of this!

9/10!


Thanks. This is still in progress but I am glad what I have. I hope you will like the rest of it when it is up.

About the confusion, that is probably a effect I got from listening to Film Scores. Sometimes you can here this effect in movies, fantasy movies mostly, something big is happening all around. I am very happy with what I have

Hopefully I will be able to upload more soon, I am working on more as it is, but as I put a lot in my music it might take a few months to finish this piece.
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
#19
Before I get started; Symphonic metal isn't a genre I really like. So if I seem harsh or whatever, just ignore my crit'.

The intro sets a great atmosphere, sort of dark and creepy almost.

When the band comes in, the drums are a bit weird, not my type of thing atall.
When they go to the half time thing, it's a bit better.

The verse was okay, nothing reallly speical.

Symphonic stuff like this always seems to get really repeteative and boring, in my opinion. But for an idea, this is pretty good.

7/10. Not my style, but it was alright.

- Carl, xo
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#20
Quote by Carl6661
Before I get started; Symphonic metal isn't a genre I really like. So if I seem harsh or whatever, just ignore my crit'.

The intro sets a great atmosphere, sort of dark and creepy almost.

When the band comes in, the drums are a bit weird, not my type of thing atall.
When they go to the half time thing, it's a bit better.

The verse was okay, nothing reallly speical.

Symphonic stuff like this always seems to get really repeteative and boring, in my opinion. But for an idea, this is pretty good.

7/10. Not my style, but it was alright.

- Carl, xo


Thanks for the comment, I understand you might not like this cause it ain't your style. And it would be no fun if everyone had the same style and opinions. Thanks for the comment/critic anyway.
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
#21
This song is awesome. The intro is amazing. The use of strings there is perfect. The atmosphere it creates is perfect. It flows straight into Riff A which is just as awesome and the strings are still perfect. The use of strings in the verse is amazing AGAIN. You really know how to use your strings :P It goes along perfectly with the verse. The drums were a little weird or generic at times, but Im not going to crit that since u didnt make them. They were overall good though. Finish this song! it is amazing.

9.7/10


Heres mine.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=940205
#22
Quote by 1crazyboy7
This song is awesome. The intro is amazing. The use of strings there is perfect. The atmosphere it creates is perfect. It flows straight into Riff A which is just as awesome and the strings are still perfect. The use of strings in the verse is amazing AGAIN. You really know how to use your strings :P It goes along perfectly with the verse. The drums were a little weird or generic at times, but Im not going to crit that since u didnt make them. They were overall good though. Finish this song! it is amazing.

9.7/10


Heres mine.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=940205



WOW! I think that critic was so good I got an heartattack, seriously I wasn't expecting that. Thanks for that critic.

About my use of string being perfect/amazing (I am not saying they are, 1crazyboy7 said it), this is just something I have learned by listening to oher artists of the Symphonic Metal and also Harry-Gregson Williams. Also just by working my way forward of how to use them and just playing around with this on keyboard and in guitar pro. Takes time to learn but everybody can learn to use it.

The drums are suppose to be a little "strange" or I think my drummer imagened the drums like that for this song.

I am glad you like this song. I will finish this song but it will take some time, as I want to finish it so I am completely happy with it.

Again thanks for the critic and that awesome rating,
-Gulli
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
#23
Prologue sounds cheesy . But I like cheesy lol, and it sounds really great.

But, I understand that it's a separate track from the whole 'Rise of the Dark Angel' track? If so, then my complaint is that it is too short! I think you need a better exposition than that .

Also, I think the riff would be better as the main theme, rather than the verse. Imo it'll sound better if you resolve to the riff. Or better yet, resolve to something from the prologue! : Anyway, that's just my opinion, Disregard it, think about it, whatever, you're the writer . Now go and finish it!

... no, actually, take your time lol. Don't rush it, and make it a masterpiece .
#24
Quote by MarchOfEternity
Prologue sounds cheesy . But I like cheesy lol, and it sounds really great.

But, I understand that it's a separate track from the whole 'Rise of the Dark Angel' track? If so, then my complaint is that it is too short! I think you need a better exposition than that .

Also, I think the riff would be better as the main theme, rather than the verse. Imo it'll sound better if you resolve to the riff. Or better yet, resolve to something from the prologue! : Anyway, that's just my opinion, Disregard it, think about it, whatever, you're the writer . Now go and finish it!

... no, actually, take your time lol. Don't rush it, and make it a masterpiece .


Ohh, a lot have changed. Like the intro Mortuus Divinus is now just kind of a instrumental Prologue that is in the song, just kinda Part 1 (A short part)

I am working on this, as I said, alot has changed now in my version and the one here on UG
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X