#1
This thread contains actual scientific and historic events which depict the reasons why the sports drink Gatorade makes your sweat glow, and how each color came to be. Warning, some may be graphic, keep your children away unless you are ready to take full responsibility for their mental scarring, thank you.


IF YOU ARE GOING TO POST, READ THE ORIGINAL POST!! THATS THIS!




Lemon-Lime

[The Large Hadron Collider Mishap]

The Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider is a super collider built to fire protons around a 17 mile (27 Kilometre) ring at which point the would collide with each other and release enormous amounts of energy. The Ion Collider is used, normally, to study different properties of sub-atomic particles, from which numerous theories of sub-atomic matter can be derived. There have been 5 base experiments that have taken place using the RHIC (pronounced Rick). There was, however, one more experiment which took place outside the scientific community.

On June 8th, 2001, Ralph "Master Bate" Bateman and Kerry "Long" Johnson snuck into the unattended scientific compound in the hopes of creating the ultimate beverage, the Lemon-Lime energy drink. They got the idea one night while watching a Discovery Channel Special on the RHIC. They theorized that they could send both a lemon and a lime around the Collider in opposite directions, resulting in both a huge explosion of energy, and a delicious flavor.

After getting their high-school friend Tim "Piggy" Boarstein to set up the Collider with the proper specifications, they two placed the lime and lemon in position and fired up the Collider. The result was Sour, but bittersweet. The collision created a rift through which the delectable liquid, now covered in highly radioactive bsub-atomic particles, was thrust back in a paradoxical loop into the past.

Year: 986 A.D. North-Central Florida.
A liquid poured forth from a crag after a native ritual asking for immortal life. The spring caused the inhabitants to become reenergized as well as make their sweat glow. They thought it was an answer from their Gods, we know it now as the "Long Master Bate" incident.

Juan Ponce de Leon had heard rumors of such a place, but never found the fabled Fountain of Youth, which had the full name of "The Fountain of Youth, Flavor, and Delicious-Urine-Colored Liquids".

Year: 1964.
North-Central Florida.
Robert Cade, Dick Malonis, Harry James Free, and Dana Shires are at a football game for the Florida Gators. They are invited into the locker-room after the game because the star line-backer John "Pounce" Lyon had injured his left bicep in the game and required Medical attention. After a few minutes within the Locker Room, Robert Cade began to notice a faint trickling sound. He located the sound coming from the south western corner of the room. Upon reaching the source of the noise, he found a strange yellow-green substance leaking from a crack in the wall. He soon notified the others.

Robert, Dick, Harry, and Dana began to chip away at the wall, attempting to discover the source of the leak. Upon breaking through the other side of the wall, they were swamped by a flood of the liquid. As they gasped for breath, struggling within the torrent of what they now knew was a delicious liquid, they felt themselves overflowing with energy.

Over the next year, they determined the source of the mysterious watery substance, now nicknamed Gatorade, after the Florida Gators, and began to bottle and distribute it to the players. It was a great success. Gatorade is now one of the most popular sports beverages in the world.

So Ralph Bateman, Kerry Johnson, we salute you for your incredible success in being not only the creators of the Fountain of Youth, but also of Gatorade. Thank you.


Orange
[Dyatlov Pass Incident.]
Florida, in response from the future in a request by the United States state Georgia, went back in time with Genetically-Enhanced-Nuclear Oranges in response to Russia attacking the country with the same name (Georgia). However, the Doc couldn't get up to 88 mph with the limited roadway he had been provided, thus making him lose control of the time at which the Oranges would be sent back to.

The oranges, after returning to 1959 Soviet Russia, landed in Dyatlov Pass and were greeted by a group of hikers. After determining that the hikers were infact Russian, the Oranges went into Rabid-Russian-Kill mode. They used their built in Marshall MGs to cause severe internal damage, without leaving external marks, because of their CRUSHING OVERDRIVE!!

This caused the hikers to completly lose all control of their mental states and revert back into Primal-Monkey-Mode, thus explaining why some were nearly nude and some with their clothes partially off. Having the only inbued desire to return to camp, some carried on until their bodies shut down 300, 480, and 630 feet, respectively, away from the pine tree which was their waypoint to the camp. More, blown away by the sheer power of the Orange's CRUSHING OVERDRIVE, were blown away into a stream valley off into the woods.

Having destroyed all Russians in the area, the Oranges returned to their own time where they were transported to Area 51. Which is now the worlds leading creator of Orange Gatorade.

This is how the event was covered up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyatlov_pass_accident



There will be more to come.
Quote by Haedadru
I suggest nicola teslas powered radiation death ray mounted on an orange, top secret, neo-nazi flying swastika

What?
Last edited by Judas Acolyte at Aug 17, 2008,
#3
tl;dr

but i will contribute with a 'water sucks! it really, really sucks'

and a 'gaaatttoorrraaddee'
RIDICULOUS BIG SIG!!!
#4
it has electrolites..its what plants crave
Quote by imdeth
Centorium you dick
I keep lookin behind me,You're amazing at this


Quote by Aerokizzombie
Dam,Cent, ur repeating man scares the shit out of me, its so true


Quote by CodChick
Omg Cent,Ive been havin nightmares because of u


Quote by MCMXCII
**** you man,I was just going to bed


I'm scary
#5
Quote by centorium
it has electrolites..its what plants crave


idiocracy was amazing
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Pedophilia all the way man. Go for it.

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hahaha i thought you wrote Philidelphia all the way, i was like yeah philidelphias cool i spose

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#8
Gatorade bloooooows. It's all sugar and electrolytes that the average American gets WAY more than he needs.

Water is good enough for athletes.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#9
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
First "Fail" of the thread!

...Fail.



Was that directed at me?


Quote by walkinbazooka
Gatorade bloooooows. It's all sugar and electrolytes that the average American gets WAY more than he needs.

Water is good enough for athletes.


You're missing the point.
Quote by Haedadru
I suggest nicola teslas powered radiation death ray mounted on an orange, top secret, neo-nazi flying swastika

What?
#10
Quote by walkinbazooka
Water is good enough for athletes.

So is purification by fire.
RULE BRITANNIA
#11
Quote by Judas Acolyte
Was that directed at me?


You're missing the point.

What was the point?

And no, I didn't read OP.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#12
It's too obvious imo.

EDIT: I didn't read it either, just read through a couple of words.
RIP Jasmine You.

Lieutenant of the 7-string/ERG Legion

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Yo wassup, I'm trying to expand my musical horizons if you know what I mean, so can anybody reccomend me some cool Juggalo jazz?
#15
Chocolate milk - How it happened.



I will admit, that made me laugh.

And you have to read the first post for this to make sense. Its not a serious thread.
Quote by Haedadru
I suggest nicola teslas powered radiation death ray mounted on an orange, top secret, neo-nazi flying swastika

What?
#16
the least you could do is call it the hardon colider if you're going to make sex jokes.
#17
Quote by saltysnail
the least you could do is call it the hardon colider if you're going to make sex jokes.


You realize how gay that sounds...Hardon Collider.
I might as well just call it the Boner Bumper.
Quote by Haedadru
I suggest nicola teslas powered radiation death ray mounted on an orange, top secret, neo-nazi flying swastika

What?
#18

Originally Posted by centorium
it has electrolites..its what plants crave



idiocracy was amazing


lol glad sum1 got the refrence XD
Quote by imdeth
Centorium you dick
I keep lookin behind me,You're amazing at this


Quote by Aerokizzombie
Dam,Cent, ur repeating man scares the shit out of me, its so true


Quote by CodChick
Omg Cent,Ive been havin nightmares because of u


Quote by MCMXCII
**** you man,I was just going to bed


I'm scary