#1
Hey guys i just finished this song last night and I want to know what you guys think so far. The bass isn't done but its not like it is audible in the tab anyway. Constructive criticism please.

Thanks!!

EDIT

Okay so i changed the intro a little. I made some small changes in the second riff but couldnt think of anything big to do there. Its basically the same. =\

I still haven't come up with a way to come back to any of the riffs and its bothering me because i really want to repeat the bluesy riff with some type of odd time sig changes.

Anyway check out the intro and see if its any better.

EDIT #2

I changed the intro a little but nothing big. I pretty much re-did the second and it ended up a lot more technical than it was before but im not too sure about it.

Im still working on those repeats.
Attachments:
Empire ver.2.zip
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
Last edited by jpgilbert701 at Aug 18, 2008,
#2
Sounds a lot like Protest The Hero. Maybe a little too much like Protest. Very nice otherwise. I liked the outro riff.
#3
Seconding the poster above, the riffs especially in the first half are dangerously close to PTH, in that I could even point to the particular songs that were the inspiration.

It's no direct copy, so I don't take offense, but I'd love to see that you revise them into a more original spin (as the later part shows you have creative potential).
For example the Intro kinda dragged that Emin Arp thing out too long. Either bring in some rhythmic variation or some other chord arps, so it doesn't sound like a cheap lift from "Goddess Bound". I also don't need to mention where the second riff comes from - how about expanding it with some stop-start break rhythms. The neoclassic stuff in bar 27 ff would profit from either some harmonization or powerchords underneath to give it more punch. Bar 35 ff had some of the nice bold bluesy riffs that I like from PTH, would love to hear you expand on that some more. The rest is good and had some daring harmonies and odd times, as PTH often closes its songs with an epic outro.

I don't think it is finished, anyways here are my suggestions: I don't mind the closeness to PTH, I like their riffs, and the more songs in that style the better. In order to remain coherent and avoid the "riff salad" syndrome you shouldn't be afraid to revisit some riffs later again, in variations if you must. Esp. bar 35 ff was groovy, more swaggering rock riffs are always a plus (inject oddmeter twists if you must).
More upper register lead lines would open up the song and introduce more variety. You know, advanced tapping, or some sweep chords, whatever PTH does.

The fragments of the bass so far are not very interesting and/or even clash with the guitar riffs. Go back to the drawing board with this (which means, no offense, analyzing PTH tabs).

Sucks that PowerTab doesn't do drums. How about commissioning a drumpart by some members here who have GP or export to midi ? I'd like to see that thing finished and polished.
#4
Really? I hardly listen to Protest the Hero but maybe their sound seeped in subconciously.

I definitely wanted to revisit some of the riffs but im having trouble finding out how to do it as i dont have my guitar right now =\

I was also planning on adding some type of chords or harmonizing the neoclassical thing too but like i said no guitar here so i'd be playing a guessing game. =\ I'll try and work on it a bit more and then ill post an updated version if i change anything.

As for the drumming, I have GP on my other computer but i dont have a flash drive to transfer the file from my laptop to it and back. Ill probably either have some members of UG write some drum parts up or buy a flash drive and try my hand at the drums.
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
#5
the first riff is pretty much ripped straight from a pth song im sure of it.

Edit: found it, its seriously similar to Goddess Bound.
#6
I listened to goddess bound and you guys are right. I think its the rhythm guitar that makes it sound so much like it instead of the arp. Im considering the idea of completely rewriting a new intro as its wayyy too similar and i dont want to be playing this live knowing that it sounds like something else.
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
#7
I think the entire thing, not just the rhythm makes it sound like Goddess Bound. Also, the verse riff reminds me a lot of Bury The Hatchet.
#8
Yeah im probably going to go back and completely re-do the intro and the verse riff. Thanks for letting me know about these things before me and my band started playing this.
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
#9
I pretty much enjoyed all of it. Not a big fan of the intro. It sounds too much like something 90% of deathcore bands and the such are doing these days. I feel like I've heard it all before. Though I did enjoy everything from measure 14 on.

And in the second measure of the guitar break, it sounds kinda...happy...when the second guitar plays the little lick on the B and E string. It didn't seem to fit with the rest of the song. And the only other thing is the chorus. That was pretty boring and didn't seem to fit. I mean, it would probably sound better with vocals over it, but it sounded too alt.rock and out of place, though I loved it when you had the other two guitars harmonize over it.

Other than that, it was a very good and well written peice. I'd give it an 8.5/10.

If you get a chance can you crit one of my powertabs? Links in sig. Ethereal Memories is the newest.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
#10
Quote by jpgilbert701
Really? I hardly listen to Protest the Hero but maybe their sound seeped in subconciously.

I definitely wanted to revisit some of the riffs but im having trouble finding out how to do it as i dont have my guitar right now =\

I was also planning on adding some type of chords or harmonizing the neoclassical thing too but like i said no guitar here so i'd be playing a guessing game. =\ I'll try and work on it a bit more and then ill post an updated version if i change anything.

As for the drumming, I have GP on my other computer but i dont have a flash drive to transfer the file from my laptop to it and back. Ill probably either have some members of UG write some drum parts up or buy a flash drive and try my hand at the drums.


I'd be willing to write some drums for you if you want. I have experience with this genre and I've done drums for other users before.

Also, I f you want to transfer the file from one computer to the other, just send an email to yourself from the laptop with the file attached, and open it on your other computer.