#1
This is my new song, titled "Prypjat" because I made the song when I looked at a picture from this ghost town. Its quite dark, but melodic. This piece contains no guitars, but 2 synth string tracks. C4C as always, I hope you enjoy it. Detailed crits will get detailed crits back.

RSE not ready!
Attachments:
Prypjat.zip
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Quote by Lord-O-Donuts
Banned for being the coolest April 08'er on UG.


please check out my own album:
almilano.bandcamp.com
Last edited by Madzää at Aug 18, 2008,
#2
Thanks for the Comment on my Work In Progress song, Rise of the Dark Angel.

Now this piece is definantly dark, there is no doubt about it. When I listen to this, I feel it could either be a film-score for an horror movie or a fantasy movie.

This is really good, basic but good. This song should definently not hava a guitar as it would probably ruin the atmosphere. I Especiall like the bass and drumming. The use of strings is also good.
The Choir sounds very nice but few can actually handle this kind of a choir singing I believe.

It ends suddenly like just "STOP!" have it fade out instead

-Gulli05
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
#3
Simple but effective. I agree with pretty much everything Gulli said.

There is just one thing. The snare drum really bothers me. It feels like it's always coming in the wrong time. Either it's pushed too far ahead, or lagging too much behind. It's really strange and it throws me right off. It seems to correct itself after the drumroll... that part and what follows are fantastic by the way.

Also the end could take a little more time fading out, it does cut off rather quickly.

Anyway, there's not much more I can offer, it's great right now. A little tweak on the snare maybe, and a little more of a fade out on the end and it'd be perfect in my eyes.

If you want to C4C check out my newest one
#4
now this is amazing for it's simplicity

i think for that snare roll, there needs to be a bit more of a crescendo that what there already is

the ending is wrong, it does need to fade out rather than stop. i think it seems a tad unfinished with the chord it ends on and the length of it

overall, an amazing piece, i look forward to more like it

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=933979
#5
Thanks for the crit'.

This was pretty cool, like you said. It had a dark and eerie atmosphere throughout. Which was cool.

It got a bit boring by the time the drums came in, but the way it carryed on added to the dark atmosphere. I'm not sure why, but it just seemed to.

The drums in 37 seemed weird, the snare wasn't in the obvious place (2rd and 4th beat, or whatever). But it was cool anyways.

At 45 it was very cool, I liked the progression there.
Also the way it picks up at 52 and such was pretty good!

The big sustained note at 69 got on my nerves, maybe have it at a lower volume. So that it dosen't stand out as much...

The snare-roll at 92.... Impossibly fast...?
Maybe a nice fill with some 16th triplets would work better, and be more playable.

At 93, it was cool. The drums were sort of bluesy. It seemed lighter and happier compared to the rest of the song aswell. Which was a good change.

At 105ish when the higher notes came in, that was cool.

The ending seemed really abrubt...
Maybe try ending on a creepy chord or something that slowly fades out.
I'd say end the second string synth' track on this;

e----
B-12-
G-13-
D-14-
A-15-
E----


That gives a tasteful bit of dissonance with the first string synth track. And adds to the dark and creepy atmosphere the peice has.

Overall, 9/10. I liked this lots, very original!

- Carl, xo
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#6
Ok, I think I have to explain some things. This song started out as a Jazz piece But meh, it didn´t fit the song as much with saxes and the rest, so I kinda made it darker and creepier. I got the dark ideas from this picture of Prypjat (google it), and thats why I named it so. But I kept the jazzy drumming. And yeah, my drummer can play the 32 triols . He´s kinda very great. I attached a version with a differnet ending.
Attachments:
Prypjat.zip
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Quote by Lord-O-Donuts
Banned for being the coolest April 08'er on UG.


please check out my own album:
almilano.bandcamp.com
#7
The new ending is much better than the old version.

The jazzy drum goes well, my only real gripe with this piece is the 32nd Triplet snare roll. It just dosen't really fit. If you use 16th triplets, and throw in a couple of 32nd Triplets, on every beat of something, that sounds pretty cool. But what you've put just sounds too 'chaotic'. Sort of. But if you like it, then go with it. I can't tell you how to write your own song.

- Carl, xo
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#8
Whoa. This one's really cool! It's like.... how do I describe it.... because '****ing awesome' doesn't even convey half of the awesomeness of this.

Mmmmm, okay, for the crit. Just to let you know, like your crit on mine, this was also a hard one to do. It just reeked of awesomeness!

The intro seemed a bit too slow for me, but considering this is a symphony, I understand that you need a detailed exposition and development, so that wasn't a big problem.

By 52 onwards it gets really fantastic. I really liked the E at 59, and the F at 68 was really great.

I love how you return to the motif at 85. A song with a concise motif, at this forum? Damn, awesome . The string 2 was really cool at the outro.

Ummmmm, everything was good, but the drums was kinda awkward when it first entered. Dunno, the rhythm just felt odd. I'm nitpicking, though .

Well, that's that for the crit. Let me say that this. Is. ****ing. Majestic. Gaaahhh, thanks a lot for making me jealous . Lol. I wasn't even bothered by the snare rolls. Easily one of the best song here!