#1
Plz comment on anything I should change or do.i am new at this
(Recently edited and re arranged)

VERSE 1
I went on thinking everything was perfect
everyone thought we looked cute
that was until I
was hit with truth

CHORUS
I loved her with all my heart
but she tore it apart
love and pain work hand in hand
this time the pain I just couldnt stand

VERSE 2
she said she'd been thinkin
she needed to grow up
she was almost 18
and thought her time was up

VERSE 3
she said sry baby
but I cant handle this now
I said I can help you sweetie
you just have to show me how

(CHORUS)

VERSE4
I went through the days
just wonderin why
i never found my answer
but she doesnt care
so why should I

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE
Although we arent together
she made my life alot better
keeping my spirits high
teaching me how to fly
Last edited by Fatal24 at Aug 18, 2008,
#3
*reported*

Read the rules, your title is against them, and you aren't allowed to bump your piece. It's only been up a few hours so be patient. Once this thread has been closed, re-post it so it is within the rules and if you want comments the best thing to do is to read over and criticise someone else's piece then leave them a link to your one and they will return the crit.