#1
I wrote this song for a scholarship competition. So I want it to be the best it can be. I need some critique and tips. I know the vocals aren't that great, so if you have any tips to make it better that'd be great. It's called "Do Something" and its in my profile.

Thanks!

***UPDATE****

I rerecorded the song, and added a spoken part near the end... tell me what you think... same name in my profile

Thanks again!
Last edited by AcsticRckr89 at Aug 25, 2008,
#2
there are some timing issues in the intro. did you use a click track? the vocals were too quiet. they also seem a bit flat/monotone. the lyrics were pretty good. overall, i like the feel and writing, but felt that the performance could have been better.
Too cool for a signature.
#3
Vocals could use some improvement as you said, I like the lyrics and how you mixed the guitar and piano parts. The timing was slightly off at some points. If you're gonna use this to apply for a scholarship I suggest that you maybe try to record it again just to work out all of the kinks. Maybe it's just me but something critical seemed to be missing from this one perhaps a bridge of some sorts like throw in some little guitar or piano part to put between one of the verses.
#6
the guitar and piano play well together. some good chord changes and its put together very well, i just found it quite repetitive by the end. Louder vocals would help, though, and other have already told you about that... I would suggest a key change, or bridge or something, maybe into a minor progression, but you don't have to listen to me at all... i like the outro too. vocal quality doesnt sound too bad (your singing i mean) its just very soft.

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#8
I think that it sounds good for a beginner recording, there are some spots where it's kinda rough, as others have suggested, you probably should use a click track/metronome. It will help to get the piano and guitar the way it's meant to sound.

The vocals are rather quiet in the mix, I suppose you told us the reason already but don't be afraid to turn them up a bit more, your voice is listenable. This is for a scholarship, so they probably are interested in the lyrical content of the song almost more than anything else!

The low end I think needs a little eq'ing to soften it a bit. That's it from me. Good job.

Crit 4 crit?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=941038
#9
You got timing issues and recording is not that good. But overall, it was great
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#11
Well since your doing this for a scholarship i have to tell you its pretty bland and boring. You used the same chord changes throughout the entire song, change it up, the people who will judge your ability for a scholarship will be less kind than me, but use nicer words in their letter.
If you want some government money your going to have to put in a better effort. Here are my suggestions:
1.you need to change it up maybe a pre-chorus and a bridge.
2. I dont hear a lot of feeling in the vocals, either experiment with a new melody or push yourself to sing it better even if it takes one hundred takes.
3.I would add some bass.
4. mix the vocals with some reverb so it doesn't sound like your so close to the mic.
5.Lastly, just remember you are going to have some competition, so you need to sell yourself.... leave them wanting more.

Im sorry if I am being harsh, but i know what its like to need a scholarship. I think that if you applied yourself completely you would nail it. Hope i was of some use.
#12
^^ Thanks for the crit

I'm not using the same chord progresssion the entire time, the chorus is different.. I did add some bass, but it got kinda lost in the mix, I'll turn it up... I really dont have much more time so I dont really want to have to rewrite the song, It's due sept 7 and I still have to make a video for it... thanks again
#13
Hey man, nice song!

Guitar part is cool, sounds good - definitely dig the piano track matching.

Some of the lyrics are kind of hokey tho, one line that particularly didn't work for me was "you need to love your community"... the words just don't sound musical. As mentioned vocals are a little off here and there. Just practice singing tho and it'll come, I'm no pro myself but one thing I can tell you is try and stay in your range. I think at the beginning of the song you might be struggling a bit because the notes you really want are out of your range so you're trying to "replace" them with some notes that are off-key, from mid way to the end tho it sounds good.

Spoken bit at the end is a very nice touch, sounded great. Not sure if you experimented at all with it using the regular strumming pattern or not but it might sound better with the strum, and you could use the broken-up strum somewhere else in the song. It sounds good too, and you might have it the right way as is. But if you wanted to experiment I'd try the spoken over the regular strum and see if you can put the broken strum somewhere else (hope you know what i mean!).

Keep up the good work!
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