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#1
At work, I say the word “alright” a little too much. So when I’m talking to a customer (I’m a host at applebees), I say “alright” about 5 times on average. It looks a little like this:

*Customer walks into Applebees*

Sj24: Hi, how many?
Customer: 2
Sj24: Alright. Would you like a table or a booth?
Customer: Booth would be fine.
Sj24: Alright. Follow me please.

*Sj24 grabs menus and silverware and leads them to their booth*

Sj24: Alright. Will this booth be alright?
Customer: Yeah, sure fine.

*Customer sits down and I set their menus and silverware*

Sj24: Alright. You’re server will be right with you.
Customer: Okay.
Sj24: Enjoy your meal.
Customer: Thank you.
Sj24: Alright.

*Sj24 walks away*

Anyway, I now try thinking of words similar to “alright” right as I’m speaking to customers. Well, this one particular time, right as I was leaving after seating a family (with a hott daughter I’d like to point out) I blurt out FABULOUS! took me a couple of seconds to realize the weird looks they were giving me.

Yeah, my story was kinda lame, but maybe the pit has some interesting awkward homosexual stories. Let’s hear ‘em.


EDIT: Also I was caught singing along to "New Soul" by Yael Naim

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
Last edited by sloppyjoe24 at Aug 20, 2008,
#2
i was walking downtown naked and ran into this other guy. i was sporting an erection at the time
Living is easy with eyes closed...
--------------------------

Quote by GnR_ROK
I'm surprised you returned to this thread after cheeseman owned you.
#3
After seeing Iron Man, me and my friends saw a poster for The Hulk with Edward Norton on it.
Me "Dude, we gotta see that movie"
Them "Yea"
Me "Edward Norton is a sexy beast"
Them "O_o"
Me "If I was gay, I'd go for him"
Them .......
Them "Yo this nigga's gay. He said he'd go gay for guy. You called a man sexy"
#6
one time i was running in a circle for gym cuz thats what we do we run in circles. so as all 200 of us were running this kid right in front of me bends over to tie his shoe while running super fast and my balls ended up in his ass
#9
i'll just be staring off into space sometimes, and then some dude will walk right up in my blurry field of vision with his crotch in my face. I'm not aware of this until he yells at me for "staring" intently at his junk for several minutes
#10
i was sittin with a friend and we had been working on something and he said "It's too big. How are we gonna get it in?" and i said, "Simple, with a lot of love and endurance anything is possible." and he said to me looking at me funky, "We are still talking about the door and window right?" and i said "Yes now get your mind out of the gutter and lets get to work."
You know you're loved when someone breaks a guitar over your leg and everyone's more concerned about the guitar than you.

Quote by Fiire
^total philosopher
#11
This wasn't me, but my friend. He walks up behind This person with long blonde hair and grabs their ass. It turns out it's a dude and he tries to kick my friends ass. total kodak moment.
#12
Quote by metaldud536
Dude, nigga. It varies how they're feeling.


Your friends like to indulge in marijuana don't they?
Quote by red18420
There is no point except party and be healthy and happy. Also money is not something to live for. If i didnt need money for drugs and beer i would give mine away.


Vote here to help me get to BC!
#13
When i walked in on my friend and another friend... one of them was holding the KY jelly.. gayest thing i've seen in my life..


(this never happened)

^
He's laughing at YOU.
You better click that bastard.



Ibanez RG370DX
Peavey Valveking 112 (w/ Bad Monkey and GE-7 EQ)
#14
i acted gay once with my friend dick(no pun) just to get into a club. (no it wasn't a gay club, there was a girl carding people and we blinded her with our gayness)
The best thing about life is knowing you put it together
#15
Alright?
Quote by Spoony_Bard
Dude I got these strings the other day that couldn't be tuned to higher than 4 octaves below middle C then I realized that they were shoelaces and they weren't making any sound at all.
#16
I'm sure everyone's had this, when a guy bends over in front of you to pick up something and you yawn at the same time...it looks so homo.
#17
I once wrote a story about Scooby Doo because we had to write a mistery for LA and in the story Velma was discussing the sandwhich Shaggy made and I was reading it aloud to my friend during lunch and I (as Velma) said "It was as big as your arm?!" and alot of hot chicks gave me weird looks.
#18
I forgot when I party with my regular friend we always have these homoerotic dance offs.

Usually we get the first girl we see at the party and put them on a chair and give them hot and sweaty lap dances. It's pretty fun after you've had a few to drink.
The best thing about life is knowing you put it together
#19
Quote by Eric 666
I'm sure everyone's had this, when a guy bends over in front of you to pick up something and you yawn at the same time...it looks so homo.


^
He's laughing at YOU.
You better click that bastard.



Ibanez RG370DX
Peavey Valveking 112 (w/ Bad Monkey and GE-7 EQ)
#20
well in order to insure my right to the bed at this one sleepover, my friend 1 suggested gay chicken

so i immidiately pull down my pants, put my ass in friend 2's face (so far that his nose was right by my bumhole) and then he backed out and i won
Quote by RedDeath9
Divinecrossfire...

Epic post. Wish I could say more, but I don't know much about the subconscious and other psychological stuff.
#22
i was at my birthday party with my 3 guy friends and my girlfriend and someone brought up the subject of swearing:this conversation followed

me-"dude j-bag remember our f*ckfest in your basement?!?!?!!? lololol"
other people-"0_o"
long story short, we said f*ck a lot coz we were losing at video games.

the look on my girlfriends face was priceless
Quote by djmay71
OMG

eddievh2, you are a genuis, and true man of action


damn right

Quote by Zugunruhe

or else, how good are you at drawing penises?


lulz
#23
Quote by eddievh2
i was at my birthday party with my 3 guy friends and my girlfriend and someone brought up the subject of swearing:this conversation followed

me-"dude j-bag remember our f*ckfest in your basement?!?!?!!? lololol"
other people-"0_o"
long story short, we said f*ck a lot coz we were losing at video games.

the look on my girlfriends face was priceless


amazing

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
#24
friend: blah blah blah it was perfect!
me: YOUR PERFECT! (trying to make an insult joke kind of thing :/) *facepalm*
Gear:

Guitars:
ESP ltd FX-400
Epiphone les paul jr.

Amps:
Line 6 spider II combo 30 watt
Krank Rev. Jr. full stack tube.
#25
Quote by The Tyler
This wasn't me, but my friend. He walks up behind This person with long blonde hair and grabs their ass. It turns out it's a dude and he tries to kick my friends ass. total kodak moment.



wow just wow.this guy must have had a nice ass to be mistaken for a girl.


...there is my gay moment right there,, :\
#26
i've only had one.

i had a friend who had recently had alot of hard times, best friend hit by car and his mates girlfiend commiting suicide and his sister dieing of drug overdoses and all that, i was chatting about it with my best mate.
"he just keeps going through ****, he's like, the only guy i'd ever hug"
"....."
"...NO! like, a 'get well' kinda hug!"
"....yeah...."
"****."
#27
Quote by Ez0ph
That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
Quote by Firenze


Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



www.myspace.com/tarsusmusic
#28
I watched "Under The Tuscan Sun" and told my sister i liked it. (I didn't, but still... )
Last edited by Schweet! at Aug 21, 2008,
#29
No idea, nothing gay has ever happened to me.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#30
My sister had a friend who I pretended to be gay with to scare people (though we didn't kiss or anything, we still kept it rather conservative). It wasn't unintentional, I fully intended it to happen to screw with peoples' minds but it was rather funny.

I'm strange like that.
#31
Quote by blynd_snyper
My sister had a friend who I pretended to be gay with to scare people (though we didn't kiss or anything, we still kept it rather conservative). It wasn't unintentional, I fully intended it to happen to screw with peoples' minds but it was rather funny.

I'm strange like that.


i do that with my mate infront of our girlfriends, that probably explains why i havnt had sex for over a month.....
#32
It was gym, and we were waiting for the teacher to take attendance, and my shirt smelt badly, I don't remember the conversation really but... eh. My friends were talking about gay people, and I was talking to someone else at how I/my shirt smelled really bad, well I ended up saying "so what if I am" (bad smelling).

Before I could continue one of my friends yells WHAT!? because he had just said "are you gay?", trying to be funny.

That was pretty awkward.
And sorry, that was very poor telling of the story, but it was about 2 years ago, can't remember well.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#33
wtf290: What's up with that nickel?
Friend 1: Oh, they changed the face or something...I think it looks cool.
Friend 2: Yeah, that nickel's jerkin' material.
Friend 1: You're FACE is jerkin' material!

...
wtf290: That, that's literally gay.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#34
One of my friends was asleep. So one of my other friends meant to say "Let's **** with him." But he actually said "Let's **** him." I couldn't stop laughing for hours.
Quote by rancidryan
Do they come with heroin because I heard thats the only reason Dave Mustaine used them


"The power of the riff compels me"
Bury Me In Smoke
#35
I have a little thing where I say "Frig I love ____" and fill the blank with the topic that someone was talking about. So one time my friend mentioned something about balls and without thinking I said "Frig I love balls."
#36
Quote by zedeathmetal
friend: blah blah blah it was perfect!
me: YOUR PERFECT! (trying to make an insult joke kind of thing :/) *facepalm*

I'm going to one-up you.

My friend: This is hard
Other friend: YOU'RE HARD!

I zip up my pants and leave.

EDIT: At football practice just this week:

(QB throws a great pass)

One of our coaches: Nice ball, Fucos
I add: Sweet balls, man.
Last edited by MrMojoRisin' at Aug 21, 2008,
#37
Quote by divinecrossfire
well in order to insure my right to the bed at this one sleepover, my friend 1 suggested gay chicken

so i immidiately pull down my pants, put my ass in friend 2's face (so far that his nose was right by my bumhole) and then he backed out and i won

This man has balls... or did friend #2 get it?
Quote by Lil Macker
I voted 9, cause I would only let my mum give me a handjob...

Quote by brennsy
SathiaSun for president

Un-Banned! Boy, does it feel great to be back.
Join the Bear Grylls Foundation group!
#38
A friend looked at my dick while in the showers during gym. Its customary at my school to mime jerking off when a friend does something gay.

Apparently it loses the humor when you mime jerking off while naked.
Quote by top shelf

I couldn't do it [masturbate] with the cast on however. That's when I dug out my baby sister's stuffed animals and went to town

Quote by Tubyboulin
Is it bad that I imagined you saying that in a really sexy voice?
#39
One time, I had sex with this guy.

I swear, it was unintentional.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#40
a friend of mine was trying to grab my other friend's planner, which happened to be around his lap-region. Guess what he actually grabbed to make the situation awkward!?

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
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